for me i want to be "normal" and be able to eat in front of others walk down the street and not hold my stomach or feel like everyone is staring at me. but yet at the same time i am not ready to gain any weight. i always have these thoughts in my head about what i ate or what im going to eat, then when it comes time to eat it i talk my self out of it and why i dont need that. im always in my head thinking about my weight what i ate the night b4 or just an hour b4. When i wake up i jump on the scale and no matter what it says im not happy. maybe just 1lb down. or if it goes up forget it. eatting nothing at all that day.The scale runs my life. i have tried to get rid of it but then all i have to go by is what i look like and i am never happy.trying to find something to wear 4get it. i try on like 7 diff outfits. not happy with any of them. im not comterbal in anything i wear maybe baggy sweats. i just dont know how to stop or who to ask for help or if im even ready. and i know that my thoughts are jacked up but im not sure if i even have an ED. i see some girls and i know im not as skinny as they are so i really just dont know what to doView Thread
so i went to see a doctor just for a check up things turned on my eating.. and she put me on Prozac, now she wont let me see how much i weigh she wants to weigh me backwards. sending me to some therapist that is in eating disorders... so idk i feel like in one day my life changed. i have been so stressed out. that is now on my record for any doctor to see, they are going to make me gain weight if not then get to go somewhere... ahh idk... not ready she said 130lbs is wear i should be or at lease 125... i have never been over 120 and i was only at 120 for like a week as soon as i found out it droped to like 113 and that was years ago past 2 years i have not been over 110View Thread
yeah the past week i have gained some of my weight back and its killing me. its harder then i thought. i was doing good till i got on the scale.. now its bk to trying to work out all the time, cutting back on my food intake. im just so over worring all the damn time.
i have seen a therapist in the past. but she downed my father for no reason and i never went back. she told me if i dont wanna hear him hide in my room (hes in a wheel chair and cant get in there) and where i live the only groups we have for something like this is OA ( over eaters) i tried to go to one but i felt very out of place.View Thread