Hi! I'm new! My name is Elizabeth. I was bulimic. I am no longer purging. I haven't in about five months and I am eating normal.... But I am always struggling with the thoughts. Always thinking.. Is this going to make me gain weight? Should I throw this up? I just want to know.. will i ever get to a point where I'm not struggling with the thoughts or urges? Is it possible to be completely free from this?View Thread
I am fifteen years old. My ED started the beginning of this year. I have always been skinny but I am tall. I saw my weight and I hated it. People always said "You're the perfect size" while they were complaining how "fat" they were. In my eyes these people weren't fat. If they weighed less than me and considered themselves fat, then what was it? I began to see myself as overweight and I tried to control my weight by eating less. I eat alot of food everyday and I felt like a pig for doing it. I tried eating less but it only made me more hungry and eat even more. So i started purging. It soon became a unhealthy need. I lost weight when I purged so I stuck with it. After about month of doing it i started to gain weight. It scared me so i would do it even more frequently... I soon felt extremely nauseous with everything I ate but I couldn't stop. I am an incredibly competitve person so i dared myself to stop for three months. I did it. But not only that but I have become mostly free from it. I don't purge anymore but i always have to watch what i eat and the reason that I could possible be eating. Now that I look at my ED i realize that i seriously wanted to control myself. I wanted people to accept me and I felt the only way i could control this was to control my weight... The reason I am free now is God. It's okay if others don't agree... but this is my story.View Thread
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