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Hope you are doing well. I thought I would give you an example that might help (might not).
You say you have no control. I say you do but you haven't trained it to deal with food. My suggestion is to take something that you have control over and then relate those feelings over to the food.
Lets say... reading a monster of a huge novel. You say in (at least I do) I will read up to the end of the next chapter. You make a controlled decision where to end your enjoyment. You know that if you do not stop that there are consequences: missing work, no sleep, not getting the chores done etc. It isn't easy for me but I can set the book down.
When you go shopping for... clothes or house supplies. You make choices. "I need this", "I do not need that", "I want this but don't need it".
You take those same thought processes and apply them to the situation with food. You do not change overnight but with practice you can understand what sets you off to being fidgety or overeating. Knowing when to set the book or spoon down is the same thing. You have the power of choice. If you continue to say you are powerless, you will be. Be positive in your approach to all things even if you fail at times.
peace,
OopsView Thread

About half of America could be classified as obese which would mean they all have an eating disorder as well. The dieting boards are populated with people in your shoes who have similar stories and are at various stages of getting better. They would have a vast amount of knowledge which you should consider tapping into.
Here is a link to an abstract that I thought pertains to your situation:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11775577
It says whet we have but have more clout then any of us.
I'll quote the last paragraph in case the link does not work, "CONCLUSION: Since long-term weight maintenance depends on post-operative changes in eating behaviors, it is important to identify patients at risk for a range of disordered eating patterns so that a comprehensive treatment plan that targets the eating disturbances and associated psychological components can be implemented."
Given that I would seek medical and mental help for your situation. And there is one thing you should remember, you have as much control as any of us. What you lack is proper thinking. If you learn how to think before you react you will be in a better place. Because you then can alter your reaction.
Get some sun and remember it is a beautiful day.
peace,
OopsView Thread

I am sorry to hear about the depression. I deal with it as well.
This is the support group for people with eating disorders. It is not the best group to get dieting information from as we take it to the the extreme in bad ways. Your best bet is to get advice from the dieting boards. I will try to add my two cents while you are here.
You say "dieting is a mindset". I think whenever people hear the word "diet" they thinks of salads and a tortuous existence until they hit that goal weight.
If you look up the word 'diet' you will get:
Etymology: Middle English diete, from Anglo-French, from Latin diaeta, from Greek diaita, literally, manner of living, from diaitasthai to lead one's life
What I gather is that we morphed diet into some penance when in fact dieting should only be a way of life. It is about being smart or actively thinking about what we put in our bodies. We are bombarded with commercials to eat this, go to that restaurant, enjoy this drink. Marketing people know exactly what buttons to push to get you to consume. You need to say no.
If you want any advice for the weight and the depression it would be to take control of your life. Make healthy living your way of life (without using the evil 'diet' word). You make decisions what is healthy (not the commercials). You take the time to read some articles on healthy living.
It is always a happier day when you can walk outside with the sun on your face (or even when rain is hitting your umbrella) then it is to sit and ponder, "What am I to do?"
Be happy with yourself no matter what state you are in. With slight tweaks to the "lifestyle" in time you will morph closer to your goal.
Best wishes,
OopsView Thread

Dear Anon,
Whether to go under the knife is ultimately your decision. The best advice would come from your doctor who knows you. The bypass doctors are/maybe too bias.
You, yourself must within find the courage to and strength in yourself to be you. No matter what you weigh, what you look like. Going through life depressed is not what anyone wants to do. Bypass is not a cure for depression. I just seeing being happy in your state a mind trumps anything. If you are happy and confident there are no obstacles in life you cannot tackle. Just remember, surgery or not, that you must always keep your chin up and strive to be happy.
Best wishes to you,
OopsView Thread


Have faith in yourself.View Thread

There will be many people in your life that will say stuff about your image. So we have to ask ourselves ourselves about these comments without getting too emotional. But... before I get to that. Congrats on seeking help when you needed it and when you lost weight in a good way. Ok back to it.
I cannot say if you lost too much weight or not or too fast or if your diet is lacking anything. I can only say that you have had the schooling on your condition. You need to believe in yourself and what you were taught. You should be able to read the signs when you are slipping.
The big deal isn't a big deal. It is only a comment made that you should look at and decide if there is any validity. My only thought on the matter would be to proove to yourself, and only yourself that you are in control. Maybe take a month off frm dieting and keep you weight at the level you are at. Take this month to work on healthy meals and how to maintain your weight. personally I have found that it is easy to gain or lose weight. It can be difficult to keep at a level weight.
I personally have been free from the A and B/P for years but the wounds are still tender. I continually try to build a strong relationship with the what I eat, the exercise I get and my self imagine. I think it is something we all here will struggle with from time to time. Knowing when times are bad and accept help, or take a break from and help yourself, do things to keep from getting in ruts. Change up
Be strong, and believe in yourself.
Best,
OopsView Thread

You have strayed so far from the path that you are not knowing what is normal. This is not a good sign.
If you cannot stop you owe it to everyone else to put yourself in a place that will give you the support.View Thread

I wish you the best. Don't fight with the staff. Have an open mind. Roll with it. Tell us how it goes. Super glad you found a place.
Godspeed,
OopsView Thread

And you must let go of the "fear and loathing". The stress is wigging you out.
Have you thought about your relationship with food? Eat when stressed? Eat for love? Eat for no reason? Ask yourself about the relationship. See what you can figure out about that.
Sounds like you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself. Be kind to yourself. You are the only you that you'll ever have.
OopsView Thread
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