My WebMD Sign In

Please enter email address

Enter your password

Keep me signed in on this computer

Show more Information

If you select "Keep me signed in on this computer", every time you visit WebMD.com you won't have to type your email address and password. This means that a cookie will stay on your computer even when you exit or close your browser which may reduce your levels of privacy and security. You should never select this option if you're using a publicly accessible computer, or if you're sharing a computer with others. Even if you select this option there are some features of our site that still require you to log in for privacy reasons.

Forget your password? Having trouble signing in?

Why should I
sign up for WebMD?

With a WebMD Account you can:

Track your way to weight loss success
Manage your family's vaccinations
Join the conversation

See more benefits Sign Up

Why WebMD?

My WebMD

Show Menu

Facebook Twitter Pinterest

WebMD Home

Eating Disorders Community

Are you struggling to overcome anorexia, bulimia, or another eating disorder? ... more

Report this pic

mcw81

Joined: 11/21/2011

My Story:

Over-Intelligence, or as Society Calls It, "Mental Illness."

I worry I may be ahead of my time--this is at the heart of soul of a crippling depression I've struggled to treat and fight for the past decade and a half. I'm pissed off at God--if God exists--because I've been thrown into a world with no way out, unless you blow your head off with a shotgun or turn yourself into hamburger by jumping off something. No suicide method is appealing to me, because I'm smart enough not to have romantic notions of death. And the Mexicans have made Nembutol controlled now, so, so much for that option. There is no way out of this planet, this time period, this monkey body, and this meaningless worthless life. I'm stuck in prison, and since my birth into the world means I must die, I'm stuck on Death Row.

My only hope is to try to decorate my jail cell enough that I forget about it. But that's very difficult to do in such a confined space--this lifetime. I seek medical remedies to help me find meaning and purpose, or at least, to make me dumb enough to go to football games, drink a beer, climb the corporate ladder, take the kids to Disney Land, and all the other stuff God is surely laughing at people for doing blindly. I don't know what to do, other than sleep as much as possible, where I can escape.

I'm looking for two things: a medication to make me an idiot, or sedated into oblivion, or a crooked Mexican pharmacist who will sell me a few grams of some stuff I need.

Thanks for visiting my profile.

Report This

Latest Activity

Filter by:

Unnamed Phobia - DISGUST w/ Eating Generally

Hello, I have looked up a problem I have and cannot find information on it. I think it may...

Posted by mcw81

Hello,

I have looked up a problem I have and cannot find information on it. I think it may be a very unique "phobia," if you can call it that. It's an eating problem, but it does NOT relate to any worries about weight, health, choking, or appearance. I don't have any problems with my sense of taste. I think it MAY relate to depression, but in a very unique way:

I find I am OFTEN unable to eat--even when I'm hungry!--simply because the act of eating itself is absolutely disgusting and abhorrent to me. Putting food into my mouth, crunching it around to a disgusting pulp, sitting there, like a stupid monkey, chewing food--I simply cannot deal with this!! It makes me feel primitive, disgusting, monkey-like, and perhaps worst of all--completely trapped by this process for the rest of my life. It's so embarrassingly human--I feel I might as well sit at the table with someone and go to the bathroom together. Why not--we're already sitting there revolving mush around in our mouths like idiots, and when someone says, "mmmm!" I'm about ready to vomit. When I see people eating on TV, I have to look away. I have to eat alone, because I can't stand being around other people eating. A single crunching sound makes my skin crawl and can kill my whole appetite. It doesn't matter at all what the taste of the food is, though I find I can stomach soup or liquids better because they don't require crunching. When I eat, it's a fast as possible; I am so anxious to get it over with. Looking at other people in a restaurant makes me anxious, depressed, and angry: we're all a bunch of monkeys stuck with the same stupid problem to deal with EVERY single day. I can't take it, and I look at food in front of me--even if I'm STARVING!--with such disgust I sometimes cannot pick it up and put in my mouth.

Outside of feeding myself with an IV drip, what in the world do I do about this?? There's no info online, and my problem seems to circumvent the usual eating problems you might have in tandem with anxieties or mental health issues. Help!!

Thanks for reading and for any thoughts.View Thread

Posted bymcw81

1 Reply | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Unnamed Phobia - DISGUST w/ Eating Generally Hello, I have looked up a problem I have and cannot find information on it. I think it may...

See Related Mental Health Communities

See All Communities

Women's Health Newsletter

Find out what women really need.

Other Member Communities

Dieting Club: 10 - 25 Lbs Member Community Share Your Tips and Support!
Caregiving Member Community The Support and Understanding You Need!
Parenting Friends Talking Member Community Get Support from Members Like You!

The opinions expressed in WebMD User-generated content areas like communities, reviews, ratings, or blogs are solely those of the User, who may or may not have medical or scientific training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of WebMD. User-generated content areas are not reviewed by a WebMD physician or any member of the WebMD editorial staff for accuracy, balance, objectivity, or any other reason except for compliance with our Terms and Conditions. Some of these opinions may contain information about treatments or uses of drug products that have not been approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration. WebMD does not endorse any specific product, service, or treatment.

Do not consider WebMD User-generated content as medical advice. Never delay or disregard seeking professional medical advice from your doctor or other qualified healthcare provider because of something you have read on WebMD. You should always speak with your doctor before you start, stop, or change any prescribed part of your care plan or treatment. WebMD understands that reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment from a qualified health care provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or dial 911 immediately.