I have a feeling that when I actually get my computer back for good there's going to be something wrong with it. Well more than the shift key being gone anyway. When I lent it to her the first time it ran pretty quick and now it seems like it takes forever to just go to a page. I want to get rid of some of that stuff but I don't know exactly what she uses. I've thought about saying something to her but I just kinda shrug it off. She keeps saying that she found a computer but I have yet to see anything.
I just try not to think about my seizures. I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing but usually a couple days after I have a seizure I just put it out of my mind. I think by putting it out of my mind I reduce the chance of getting depressed because every time I think about them for even a little bit I just come to realize that they more or less control my life. I can't do anything without them interfering in some way. Whether it's just as simple as making sure I have my medicine with me if I need it to wanting to go somewhere by myself but can't cause I don't have a driver's license due to these seizures. Plus Marc doesn't help either but I just try to ignore/stay away from. It works the majority of the time. If I can't and he ticks me off in some way I just picture hurting him and I feel all better lol.
I think they want all the applications online now because it's easier to keep them organized. I can understand about not wanting your information online. Especially with the people are these days. I think someone actually managed to hack my email not that long ago. Well I don't know if they actually hacked it now that I think about it. It was more of just using it as something to get a receipt to when you order something online. I changed my password anyway just to be on the safe side.
It's not so much scary as it is frustrating. It seems like everything is going good and then BAM another seizure pops up. It not only pops up but it's a completely different kind. There just seems no way of really understanding it. Everytime I do try to understand it I get a headache so I just go with the flow and hope that things get back to normal. Well I don't know what exactly normal would be. I guess it would just be back to having only one kind of seizure. That's the only way I can see it lol.
I think that if I gave it enough time I might be able to get comfortable being a stay at home wife. I just hate not making money especially when we need it as bad as we do. All the paychecks we get pretty much go to bills. There's always some person that wants our money.
Why didn't they want you at the Cancer program? That seems kinda sucky.
I think part of it(I don't know how big of a part) might be because of my husband's dad. We just got told not that long that he has less than a year left to live because he has cancer. I forget which kind but they told us less than a year. I try not to really think about it but it just kinda pops up out of the blue.
Well I'm going to the time I have left of my husband sleeping and play some games . We have to share a computer because my neighbor decided to borrow mine awhile back.
I've always had headaches after a seizure just never that bad. It's like my brain decided to beat against my skull or something. What my husband told me is that I kept reaching for him and saying his name over and over.
I just don't understand what's going on anymore. For 24 years I've had the same exact seizure. I fall down and shake for a little bit then come back to reality. Now I've had this kind of seizure and I think another kind. It seems like everything to go crazy and I just can't seem to keep up. It's almost depressing.
I tried to doing the stay at home thing but I just couldn't do it. When I finally got a job it was the best day ever and now I'm counting down the days until that job starts back up. It's only a seasonal job but the pay is almost worth all the unruly customers and annoying employees.
Having a doll like that sounds rather nice. I could stick them in some not so nice places .
Well all good things much come to an end. I had a seizure yesterday morning. Cody said that it was a weird one. He said that I was mostly conscious cause I was talking to him. He told me that I kept putting a pillow over my mouth so he took it away from me.Obviously I don't remember any of this but I do remember waking up and not being able to think straight. He tried to make me feel better by saying it was just a nightmare but my brain said differently. The different thing about this one is the headache I had. To put it mildly it was horrible. I couldn't bend forward or down without a searing pain in my head. It was all over my head not just one spot. It also got so bad that just even touching it made it scream. I stayed in bed the majority of the day which helped alot. It's alot better today but I still have a headache. I put the even down on my calender in my phone so maybe it'll give me some peace seeing the days go by without one.
I could definitely use a check like that. I don't remember the last time I had a check that was completely mine. It's usually all or mostly gone when I get it. Pesky bills.
Well my husband is almost done with his bath so I gotta get off here. Enjoy your day.
I can't remember the last time I dressed up for Halloween. I kinda miss it but I got to see the kids walking down the street in their costumes. I still bought some candy but I just ate it myself. I tried to hide it from the boys and for once it actually worked
I got to meet some of the guys from the Ram's football team yesterday and got my picture taken with one . I told my husband and one of my friends but they didn't think it was awesome since they kinda suck. I got to work the football game yesterday since they were at home and seeing them was a nice end to it. It made up for the beer I had to clean up during my shift. One person brought their beer in and I don't know if they spilled it or they decided to drink it out of our coffee mugs. All I know is that it was all over the shelves and inside the cup. I made sure to tell the security guard that I was taking it out to clean it. I didn't want them to think I was stealing lol. I couldn't get the smell out until after I got done with my shift.
I have let loose on him a couple times and it's helped but it doesn't really last very long. He'll stop for awhile and then just pick it back up. In a different manner sometimes but it still ends up being the same thing. It does take alot to get me angry but it usually lasts for a little bit when I do. I don't really hold the emotions in anymore. I usually end up talking about it to a friend at some point. I think that if I really let loose one day I just might end up punching him. I've had that picture in my head enough times lol.
I got an email from Macy's the other day for a holiday position and I'm thinking about giving it a shot. We definitely need the money since the football season is almost over. I only have to wait 4 more months for my awesome job :DD
I must say today was actually good for a change. Well they haven't been bad but they were definitely wearing me out. I decided to do the math on how many hours I've worked this weekend and it's a whopping 33.5 hours lol. Almost a whole weeks worth of hours in 3 days lol. They got me working again tomorrow so it'll be even better when they finally give me a day off. Although the season is going to be ending soon so I guess I shouldn't complain too much about these hours I'm getting.
Marc's comments like that don't bug me 90% of the time but sometimes instead of just one comment he keeps going with it. I have managed to keep myself from just going off on him but I think one day he just might push me to that point and I imagine it won't be pretty when it happens. I think with being able to hang out with friends and stuff will help keep me from doing that for awhile at least.
I wasn't able to see much of last nights game(or these weekend's games for that matter) since they had me outside working instead of inside in the heat. I heard that we just plain sucked that game though. I think we can still win this though. I believe in my boys. There was an article I read earlier today about how the boys got stranded in the St. Louis airport for 7 hours because of some mechanical issue. That had to suck but that we needed a little bit more relaxing(well as much as they can really) time before we touch down in Boston. Oh and something kinda cool happened on Sunday. We were going to our little stand outside and we got to see Molina and his car. What keeps it from being completely cool is that he almost hit us as we were walking. It wouldn't have hurt us really since he was driving slow but it still would've sucked.
It's kind of cute that he keeps trying to teach you about your r's. I think Kindergarten is one of the best years of school. You get recess and all kinds of fun stuff to play with.
Well I need to lay down and try and go to sleep. I made the mistake of taking a 2 hour nap when I got home from work at 6:30ish.
(For some reason I was about to put Angie down there instead of Meg. I think I'm losing my mind lol)View Thread
I wasn't able to see that play until yesterday but I definitely do agree with everybody. I do know one thing for sure though. When this day my feet will be sooooo happy. Right now just rubbing them almost makes them sting. These past couple days instead of being inside they put me on one of the carts outside by this restaurant where there's no heat whatsoever. I didn't know that I was going to on Saturday so I was freezing my butt off. Yesterday though I had 4 layers on and I still was freezing my butt off just not as bad. Today is the finally day of this though and I couldn't be happier especially since I think I'm getting sick.
I think part of his joke making about my seizures is because he just doesn't really like me. Cody says differently but deep down I think he knows I'm right. He always asks why and I tell him it's the way he acts toward me. He deliberately does things that he knows I don't like. He's also said that he just doesn't care. I don't think he will ever actually come to me with questions cause that would show that he cares. He would probably do the research himself so nobody would know.
Well it's time for me to finish getting ready for another freezing day at work lol. Enjoy your day.
Sorry it took so long to reply back. I've been working and Cody's been hogging the computer.
Things ave been going good for the most part. The boys have won their last two games and I got to see both of them. Well not the last night so much.
The only part that's sucked is the other day Marc made a horrible joke. The jist of it was that he wished he could control my seizures cause it's been boring lately. He would wait until Cody and I were doing something and then just flip the switch more or less. When I look back and I just stared at him he couldn't figure out that bothered me or why I wasn't laughing. He said that I should be able to laugh at myself. Thankfully Cody stood up for me and told me Marc that it was a really bad joke. I have been enjoying the time lately cause he hasn't made and "jokes" or comments like that. All good things much come to an end I suppose.
I'm glad you feel that way about your doctor visits. That's what I've been doing but after these past couple years I don't know if he'd want to change that or not.
Well I got a puppy that needs to go and I need to get ready for work so I will talk to you later. Hopefully it won't take me so long to reply this time.
I guess you could call it a clothing store but we sell a bunch more stuff besides that. Well sell everything from ornaments all the way to little stuffed cows. All of which is really overpriced but that's what happens in a baseball stadium. I've only had to do inventory twice I think in the 2 years I've worked here(which doesn't bum me in the least).
I was pulling for them too but everybody was saying that since the RedSox won we can get revenge on them for sweeping us in '04.
I've been feeling pretty good. The boys(my husband and his twin) are still annoying the crap out of me but I think they feel it's their job to. Marc(the twin) is usually the most annoying so I just stay away from him. Like whenever I want to cook or something he has to make some kind of remark on it which is why I don't like to cook very often. If it wasn't for him I probably would cook more.
I haven't had any seizures lately I think it's been close to a month since my last one which makes me one happy girl. I don't know if it's weird or not but whenever I do seem to get stressed usually going downstairs and seeing my neighbor and her kids helps. They like playing with my puppy and I like hanging out with her so it's a win-win situation. I say it's weird cause they're kinda crazy and don't always listen to either of us but I guess that kinda goes with being a kid.