I am hoping that by joining this online support group, it will help me to not feel so alone in what my family is going through. I am educated enough to know that there are many children and families experiencing a great number of issues, but not mine, not with my daughter, and not me. I have come to the conclusion after having a complete melt down in a psychiatrist office this weekend, I need a place to vent, seek advice and find some sort of meaning to what is going on. I will begin by telling you about my amazing daughter. Thirteen months ago her world and ours was turned upside down. In December of 2012 she attempted to hang herself. I took her to our local ER and told the doctor what she had done. I was completely devastated when all he did was make my child pinky swear not to do this again. I took her to a hospital in OKC and she was admitted. It was then that we found out she hears voices. Those voices tell her to harm herself, her brother, and us. I was simply .....cannot even describe. She remained inpatient for 3 months. Came home for three weeks and the voices returned. The second stay was almost two months....finally she came home. She was not my smart whitty, outgoing child anymore. My daughter had become paranoid of everything, suffered from anxiety attacks, and appeared to be depressed almost all the time. Delt with a psychiatrist for six months who I felt did not listen to us. We began to learn how to handle things at home somewhat. I began to notice depression, voices, hatefulness, physical aggression,, and self harming thoughts occur every month and a half to two months. I decided to seek help elsewhere after she was inpatient again the week before Thanksgiving for cutting herself. I hope with all my heart that this place will help and so far they have been great. She just got home again after another stay for burning herself. Today at discharge, the counselor told me that we have a long road ahead of us and that I will never have the daughter I had two years ago...I so love her and am simply at a loss as to how to really help her, her brother, her father, and myself. I cannot stop working a stay home, I spend my whole day at work worrying about her, and most of the time come home to what feels like hell. I am hoping by sharing my story, and this is only a small part, and listening to others, I can begin to wrap my brain around what is happening to my daughter and how to help her and keep my family together. I am scared to death that the stress of this is tearing her father and I apart... I cannot even begin to imagine how this is really affecting her brother, although he says he understands. Please share with me. I am usually not one to reach out for help, but something has to give.
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