You have been given some great advice and I can't think of anything more to add but I wanted to say that you are NOT failing your kids. You will always be their mother - you carried them in your womb and gave them life. There is nothing that can touch that.
I really hope you feel better soon, and find some hope.
I think that NancyB had some great suggestions but I would like to add that I think your fear of dying must be related to your mother's untimely passing, and probably to your PTSD. Not that anxiety about a limited ability to participate in life events isn't part of it, too - but I think what you are referring to is not related to your FM.
I agree with Caprice - continue with cognitive behavior therapy. It does help, even if it does not cure your anxiety.
Although I am not very religious, I always say that God doesn't give you anything you can't handle. You are strong - keep fighting. And take a hard look at your life and make some decisions about what is most important. You can't do everything, so focus on what matters most to you.
Pam, I totally agree with what you are saying. There have been so many times that I have doubted my ability to continue to work full time but I really can NOT afford to work PT or go on disability. For one thing, I am too young (32) and I'm the only person in my family who has a job. My father and his girlfriend live with me and I'm a single mom of a two year old. My ex-husband quit his job in October, so - no child support, either. I am the only one who can pay the mortgage and utilities and provide food for the family.
Life is tough - but I think it's good for my self-esteem and overall happiness to earn a living and have the social interaction at work. There are many times where I am just trying to get through the day because I don't feel well. I don't worry about chores around the house - I just go to work, and after my daughter is in bed, I crash. There are days where I feel good and can do more. Don't give up, Mitz - just do the best you can. Be good to yourself whenever you can and remember you are a fighter.
I might be the anomoly here, but I find that being intimate helps relieve my pain. For the last 2 1/2 years, I have been on Cymbalta and have not been able to have an orgasm but I still enjoy sex - just for the the physical and emotional intimacy. If you are in so much pain that you can't fathom being intimate but you have the desire in your heart to connect with your mate, my advice would be to do whatever you can to relax together. Hot bath (or shower), soft music - it can help to put you "in the mood". When you feel better physically, you might find that the desire for intimacy follows. Do what you can to nuture your relationship - it's one of your most important lifelines.View Thread
Thank you, Elizabeth! I have been taking Cymbalta for two years. I never thought that maybe it was causing the irritability and nervousness - I just assumed there was something wrong with me because I couldn't cope with the stress.
And Maggie, you are so sweet! I wish that I would win the lottery, but I would be happy with just being able to pay my bills. I think the reason I have so much anxiety is because I take care of both of my parents finanically (mom lives in her own home; dad lives with me and I support him totally). Plus, my ex-husband quit his job last October and has not paid child support since then. I pay the mortgage and support my daughter on my own. No wonder I'm anxious! I just want someone to help me carry all of these burdens.
I have an appointment with my rheumatologist in half and hour and I plan on discussing my symptoms. I'll let you know how it goes tomorrow.
I just wanted to jump in and say that I have had several problems with my eyes that I attribute to Fibromyalgia. Dry eyes are a given (which I treat with Systane, found in most drug stores, Wal-Mart and Target) and I have also had multiple bouts of Uveitis. I was prescribed steroidal eye drops which really helped. But it was exactly the same pain you describe, like the muscles in my eyes were sore. Uveitis is a bit of a mystery but it's attributed to autoimmune disorders like RA and MS. I was tested for both and they were negative. Let your doctor know that the pain has returned. Sometimes you need to treat it multiple times before it goes away.
I was diagnosed at 17 although I may have had Fibromyalgia as early as 13. The best recommendation I have is to take your daughter to a pediatric rheumatologist. My rheumatologist treats children as young as 6. They can prescribe meds to help with sleep, like a very low dosage of trazodone. Don't take no for an answer - keep pressing until you find a doctor that will treat your daughter.
Good Luck and (((hugs))) to you and your daughter,
I wanted to get some advice from you about how you treat your anxiety. I posted two weeks ago about my air conditioner breaking, and how frustrated I have been dealing with that. Well, it's still not fixed and the problems keep stacking up. It feels like I can't deal with normal stress - simple things like going to the grocery store, dealing with an upset client at work, my two-years old's momentary tantrums, a phone call from a bill collector - they all bring about obsessive thinking patterns, irritability, dread, panic, anger, shaking and nausea. I feel like I'm going to fall apart any minute.
Currently, I am taking trazodone at night and Cymbalta during the day. Does anyone take medicine specifically for anxiety? Do any of you feel that you have had problems with addiction to an anti-anxiety medication?
Yes - I have skin sensitivity to the point where I can not stand to put my arms on my desk at work unless I am wearing long sleeves. Often times I cannot wear jewelery for the same reason. It's awful but I don't know what to do about it, either. I just try to find clothes that are made out of a cotton jersey knit blend (including my sheets on my bed).View Thread