Angelswife I am so sorry to hear all of the bad things that you are dealing with right now. It is never easy to deal with at any time of the year but during the stressful holiday season anything bad just seems compounded somehow. I lost my father in law on Christmas Eve after a long battle with heart disease and diabetes. He has also had several instances of unexplained internal bleeding this year and his body just couldn't hold out any more. We had his funeral yesterday.
We have yet to celebrate Christmas in our house, we will be doing it tomorrow but with a heavy heart. We managed to eke out a Christmas for the kids even though my husband's boss laid him off temporarily 2 weeks before Christmas. We haven't been in much of a holiday mood but we will try tomorrow for the kids.View Thread
I feel much the same way you do. I want to be upbeat and encouraging to others when they need it, especially since I know all too well what they are dealing with. But when I am in such bad shape and can't seem to get myself together it's hard to help others. When i am having one of my "better" days when my thinking is a little clearer I try the best I can.View Thread
I'm so sorry about your loss Shirley. Losing a loved one during the holiday season is very difficult and unfortunately affects future holidays. Hugs to you too and many blessings to you and your family this holiday season.
It looks like I wont get to see my doctor until after the holidays. Deep down my mood is still low but I am cheerier on the surface. I know I have much to be thankful for so I am trying to count my blessings and not my woes.
Today was a fairly good day. It was my baby dog's birthday so we got him a few toys as gifts (matching ones for his sister to stop jealousy) made them a special chicken and rice supper with carrot cake for dessert. So I have 2 full and happy baby dogs snuggled up to mom. They are 2 of my blessings and really do bring joy to my life. They are a fair distraction from the pain except for bath time that kills my back but they are worth it.
I am going to chalk it up to needing a med change and in the meantime to look for the good and ignore the bad.View Thread
I am not a good person to give you an accurate answer to this as I take a diuretic for edema of my legs, ankles and feet but I am sure others will chime in when they see this. I will say that urinary frequency can be a symptom of other issues as well and if it is frequent enough to be of concern I would definitely bring it to the attention of your doctor so that he/she can decide if any further testing is necessary.View Thread
As some of you have probably noticed I have been in a funk that I can't seem to shake. Between the usual holiday stress and recent events locally, nationally and world wide it just seems to dig in deeper. I sincerely think it is a medication issue and am trying to get in to my doctor as soon as possible. medication issues are all I can come up with to explain it. Many people around the world are is worse shape than I am physically, financially, spiritually and any other way you can think of.
Of course holidays are a stressful time for all of us. I am under my usual stress and its stress I place on myself wanting everything to be just so. My wonderful hubby tries to get me to let the small things go but for me its memories for my children that fuel the things I do but I don't want them to remember the stress so I have been trying to listen to him and cut back on my expectations of myself and things that I think HAVE to be done...a lot of it is unnecessary so I will learn to let it go.
I guess also I am still in the anger stage. I am still angry that I will never again be who I was. I used to be so strong, I never needed any body's help for anything. i could lift, move or clean whatever I wanted and now it takes 3 days to clean one room. It is very frustrating to me. i will be asking for a psych consult so that I can get help in moving past this stage once and for all. I also have a bad habit of internalizing a lot of things. The news these day really gets to me. So much senseless violence and death. Too many people dying due to war, children dying so close to the holidays. All I can think about is the parents and siblings of these children being faced with gifts already wrapped and under the tree that will never be opened or enjoyed. It is utterly heart wrenching. The same day 22 children in China were stabbed and slashed by a madman outside their school. Luckily those children lived but what are they left with but physical and emotional scars that will take them years to overcome. Even in my local area there have been more than the usual number of murders and deadly accidents and non fatal shootings so many more than usual. I can't help but wonder what we as a society are becoming. These things bother me because I am human but do they bother me more than they should? Maybe they do, i don't know.
So the above all explains my funk. I am hoping that therapy and maybe meds will help me out of it for good. Today was better than yesterday but even I don't know yet what tomorrow will bring. My mood swings so frequently i almost wonder if I am bipolar. I guess I will find out as soon as I can get a consult. In the mean time I am hanging in there. there are some good moments in each day I just need to learn to focus on those more and try to let the negative go.
i am so hoping that the rest of you are all doing well and are into the swing of the holiday. I am really trying to find my Christmas spirit and keep it in the forefront for the rest of the holiday season.View Thread
Thanks for checking in on me. My husband makes it a point to check on me several times a day even when he is at work. He is very perceptive and he often knows my mood before i figure it out. He is so in tune with me. i think I just need a major med adjustment. I need better pain control and better depression/anxiety control too. i am waiting for my doc office to call me back with an appointment time. i am still having big issues with sleep, mainly not getting enough of it.
My hope for all of you that are new to this is that you have better luck in the trial and error process for meds than I have. i am unfortunately a medicaid patient and medicaid dictates what medications I get to try and how long I have to try them for before my doc can change them. they have taken almost all decisions away from my doctor and myself as far as my health and well being are concerned. The state I live in is (I swear) one of the most corrupt in the union and we the citizens suffer for it. i would love to leave this state but I would have a custody battle for my 10 yr old on my hands if I tried to leave the state so I feel stuck.
i am and will continue to hang in there...I'm just waiting for the medication rollercoaster to slow down or even come to a stop. A stop on what works for me when we find it.View Thread