It has been a little over a year since I have written and let me tell you, a year can change everything. Within 8 months I have lost my father and grandmother, gained 40lbs, started my own business, took on running someone else business during the day and as of this weekend barley able to pull myself out of bed. My Fibro pain got a little better at the beginning of the year then the last few weeks I have progressively found myself back to the starting line from when I diagnosed 2 years ago.
I am now in a relationship (Mike) and he is great (even wants to get married) but since the lurking of pain is always present here lately, hurts to be held, hugged, loved on, it is seemingly putting a little strain on things. I am in bed at 7 pm and he stays up and crawls in at midnight. He understands the Fibro for the most part, He has got me through flare-ups just something has changed.
I have already called my specialists, started going back to my treatments to ease some of the pain and stiffness. My question is how do I express to him that it isn't that I am depressed, losing interest, simply bored, or not angry with him or his son. It is that I am simply hurting, nothing more nothing less-although nothing plain and simple about this. He view on things that once you are able to try to control some of the symptoms with medicine that flare-ups should be few and far between. I try to be open to this but frankly my first year was spent in and out of doctors and treatments, which he never saw, to be able to TRY to live a normal life. Him simply trying to tough love me to go and do things when it hurts to move, breath, think causes me to be defensive and we will argue. I need a non-attacking way to talk to him to make him understand more that this is on-going not just take medicine and move on. I love him very much and yes want to marry him but truly the last few weeks have been tough. View Thread
My family are my biggest supporters now and have told him about the bad times, hospital times, and he seemed to be okay with it. I made it through the funerals, opening a business this year, added a significant other with a 5 year old, and I hope he sees that even though my strength and fight is there, tough love isn't the way to go. Again thank you so much for your advise, this is the first real relationship that I have had since I was diagnosed so it is new ground for me.View Thread
3 days ago my sister left her husband and I let her come and stay with me with her 2 children, dog, and guniea pigs(these things creep me out). She knows my condition and has helped me in the past but my routine has gotten all screwed up and I haven't slept since they moved in. I am trying to be supportive, cooking dinner and taking care of her kids in the evenings, but she seems to have forgotten that I am in pain, ALWAYS. To top things off I was bitten by a spider and have been in and out of the hospital and doctors because it is on a nerve on my face. She has failed to see this. I feel like I am being selfish but I am truly feeling a flare up coming on if I don't get some resemblance of my routine back. I have a one bedroom starter home, very small, I can't get any peace to even try to doze off. She comes home and just sits and doesn't help me with her kids. How do I talk to her without sounding like I am not being supportive????? HelpView Thread
We had our talk and she asked the grandmother on his side to pickup the kids for a few days to give me relief. Something got through. My routine isn't completely normal but she vows to get it together, considering she was the one putting the pain patches on my back that night, and find a place this weekend. A little relief with the help of grandma. I just hope she does. We will see but I am truly hopeful.View Thread
I went and bought a Vera Wang pillow top mattress set that is divine when I was diagnosed. My trick is, is not to go and lay down until I am almost falling asleep sitting up. If I am just a wee bit tired and try laying down my body stiffens and no matter what bed you have you will hurt. I am thinking about trying out a memory foam bed. My parents have one but my only complaint is that they get extremely hot. The pressure as it curves to your body is nice though. I also put a pillow between my knees to keep the alignment of my body straight so I am not turned every which direction. Hopefully this tip helps.View Thread
I have similar situations with my cycle but due to cysts on my ovaries the doctor put me on the shot which has ceased all cycles and massive pain. This has been a lifesaver as far as that is concerned. Intercourse I can't help you there. Since diagnosis and the fact I tend to twitch and lock up in my hands and feet in pain I haven't dared try to venture to that. I am learning to take care of me first. Talk to your doctor about the shot or Murena. They are both helpful in relieving some of the pain and things that come along with the cycle.View Thread
An update from the weekend....................I expressed my concerns to my sister and since my other sister and I help also with the care of my father whom is paralyzed it gave me a little break from her this weekend. My mother went to Nashville for 6 days to see her mother in the hospital. Although caring for my father is stressful I did get a nap. I returned home this morning though and found my home a complete and utter disaster. Sink full of dishes, clothes everywhere, FOOD left out, and the animals going crazy. I woke my sister up and asked what happened and she said she went to sleep and was going to cleanup this week............WHAT? I am trying to be understanding and have been reading everyone's posts this weekend but geeezz, her 4 year old and 13 year old are suffering here. I told her that she and I will be having a discussion this evening. I am concerned for her but I finally after 9 months got the dragon under control and the pain is getting intolerable. She says she knows my triggers and wants to help prevent but then no action to prevent them.View Thread
They make a lubricating ointment that you use in the mornings to help with the dry eyes and burning. Talk to your doctor. My grandmother uses it from her doctor and it helps with her dry eyes. The first few times may be uncomfortable but it will help.View Thread
Yesterday was a good day for me. New diet is making good positive changes along with Vitamin D that I was tested for last month. You sure can tell a difference. Thanks for the much needed advice MIMI. Houston finally got some much needed rain and it is continuing to fall.
Angelwife I am so sorry to hear of your losses yesterday. Cry away, your tears can be your prayers to the heavens to take good care of them since theirs lives were so abruptly ended. How are you holding up? Your nerves calmed down a little? I will send a prayer to you through my group so that you know you are being thought of.
Not so good news myself this morning, a friends mother tried to end her life this morning but, she is now doing well and the doctors taking very good care of her. Her angel was watching.View Thread
I love Tiger Balm! I am currently doing yoga and a little cardio and ab workouts and let me tell you, this stuff is amazing for the legs(calves) and shoulders.
FibroGirl- Welcome. I was the new kid on the block 9 months ago and this place is my life line. I come here to vent, get advise, roll call (LOL you will see MIMI's post, I read everyday), and most importantly to share any updates or "tricks" that have worked for me. For pain if it is intense I soak in a luke warm bath with essential oils targeted for muscle relief and pain. Lavender, Peppermint, and Ylang Ylang are some of my favorites. These help with sleep and calming your nerves too. Hope your having a pain free day.