I have been in your shoes so many times but you must remember that your children need "their" mother. I go through this at least once a month (more lately with other health issues going on) and I cry, curse, yell, cry more, talk and say exactly what I'm feeling at that moment wheather it's saying I can't do this or I don't want to do this one more second or saying I hate myself, everything that I'm feeling comes out of my mouth. It's really ugly with all that snot and tears and sounding like a sailor (my mom would be so proud lol) but damn it, I don't care. After about an hour with swollen eyes and gross tissues and a husband that is exhausted, I feel so much better.
Of course this does absolutely nothing for the pain and fatigue but it helps me mentally. Just being able to let loose with uncensored emotion is awesome. No, I'm not certifiable crazy, just crazy from what this silent, miserable, mysterious condition does to me.
I wish I had a dollar for everytime I've said "I hate myself" because I'd be one rich girl ! This being said, you have to understand that I have the most amazing husband. He takes care of everything for our family and never, ever complains so I feel completely safe when I have my melt downs. We have 4 children, 2-19, so I know what you mean when you say you feel like a failure. I do what I can, but when I can't, he steps in. I also work full time and on my feet for 8-10 hrs per day !!! I'm exhuasted every minute of every day and usually not in the best of moods. If he had it his way, I'd be home every day taking care of myself, god bless his little heart. As a woman, I feel like I need to do my part and I'm somewhat stubborn so I always do too much therefore I pay dearly for it.
I guess what I'm saying is, I'm with you on the way you feel, and I'm trying to let you see how our lives compare as far as being a mother and working and taking care of our own but feeling totally worthless. We all have been there and I will be there over and over again but you can't give up, you can't do that to your babies. Wouldn't it be better for them to remember mom not feeling good instead of them growing up and not remember mom at all ? This is what keeps me grounded. No, it's not fair that we have to deal with this every damn day for the rest of our lives and it sucks to pretend that life is great when all you want to do is be in the fetal position with the blankets over your head but you have to think about the people in your life that would rather have you the way you are than not have you at all.
This, by far, is the hardest thing for me to wrap my head around because they don't know what it's like to be me and I think it's selfish on their part for expecting me to suffer for them ! Think about that one, that's how bad I feel at times ! You will go through what your dealing with right now so many more times in your life. Scream, curse, and cry but never give up. I want to, every day, but here I am giving some one else advice, go figure. I'm sorry, I just felt like I needed to say this to you for some reason. Maybe because you remind me of someone I know lol or because hearing someone else saying it made me think about my own family and what it would do to them if I gave up. So, thank you. You actually helped me view things differently. You are loved and your children love you just the way you are. They will understand someday, my 2 older ones certainly do.
As far as the Gabapentin, maybe it's too similar to Lyrica and they shouldn't be taken together. Just a guess. Ask a Pharmacist that question and find a good doctor that will listen. You will be in my thought, take care. Best of luck.... Your "sharbear" probably means something to someone ; )View Thread
I don't post very often but when I do I tried to comment on several posts at once, not that you needed to know that lol. But what I like to do is read what everyone else is saying. I've learned a lot by just "listening" to wonderful advice from other FM'ers. It's nice to know that I'm not alone in this crazy little thing called fibromyalgia ! There's so much to this "thing", this beast, this miserable mystery, that it's all too much sometimes and you just want to scream and cry like a small child that has lost it's momma. Then you get on this community of friends, people that you don't even know but can still call friends and feel like you belong some where, a place that makes you feel normal.
I hope that you can maintain your pains with minimal drug use (drug use meaning legal medications ( ; ) because trying to find your match can be so difficult at times. A lot of people say that pilates or yoga helps and you can do those right at home, free of charge or walking. Just simple stretching is great too. Hot baths with Epsom salts and lavender are sensational as well. It sounds like you're right on track so keep up the good work ! Best of luck...View Thread
Well, I already wrote a long blog about this and submitted it, saw it posted for a few seconds, now it's gone. I'll get straight to the point. Does anyone notice more flares with being in an air conditioned place for long periods of time, like several days or weeks like from home to work and back home. The cold always makes my body miserable but I' m thinking with the air my body is reacting as if it's cold weather. Any advise ????View Thread
Hello. Yes, I too have this crazy nerve thing or what ever it is. I do think it has to do with the nerves but I'm not a doctor lol. I can touch the tender spots on my sternum area and I swear it radiates around to my back. I have looked at some diagrams and there are nerves that connect from these particular areas. I guess if you think about it, nerves are everywhere and it would only make sense especially as sensitive as FMers are when it comes to nerve disturbances. Well, that's my diagnosis for the day lol. Seriously, I hope this was helpful, even if it's not accurate at least you're not alone ! Best of luck.View Thread
I'm sorry you're having this problem. I don't really have any imput, just wanted to say I undrstand your pain. I don't have pain on the top of my foot, mine is plantar fascitis so I understand other pains than just FM pain. Hope you find helpful information regarding this problem. Best of luckView Thread