Hey cat. Sorry to hear about what happened at the dr's. I think that would annoy anyone who had to wait 3 hours while in pain.
How'd it go with your remy dr?
It sucks that you are losing friends cause of fibro. I hear that is what happens. In reality, if they didn't take the time to actually try to understand what you go through with fibro, they're too selfish for you to spend time missing them. In my opinion, the fewer, more genuine friends the better.
I don't know where you should go for a support group. Maybe others on this site could be of more help.
Instead of thinking about the friends that left, are you able to find a hobby? Maybe watching movies or if you can walking or I heard some fibro ladies liked knitting. I think the key is to just try to do little things that bring you some happiness if you can.
You'll ride out the Latest flair. I believe in you.
Haha, I don't mind you asking why we broke up. You share so much, I guess I should return the favor.
I don't know. I was a complicated relationship. I think she took me for granted and always thought the grass was greener elsewhere. I can understand that though cause I'm currently unemployed, though I do have a bright future ahead of me. She also wasn't over her ex and she would also break up with me pretty frequently and then return within a couple days. I just felt like she was only with me cause she felt she was settling, or that's at least the way she made me feel, and I feel like she treated her ex better than she treated me. I think i put up with a lot over our time, getting yelled and cursed at, trying to be understanding of her fibro and depression and also changing my life's expectations to be with her. Im not trying to be rude, but I am very healthy, and in being in a relationship with her, she's 34 I'm 29, I have to prepare for a life where any children we have may have fibro as well, or depression or lupus, as that also runs in her family, probably only have one kid, when I've always wanted a few, and a number of others changes in lifestyle I would have to make when being with someone with fibro. I say all that Not to say that im better than anyone, but i guess out of hurt, when I tried so hard and i guess sometimes it just work out. She was the love of my life, and when she broke up with me over the weekend, she tried getting the next morning, but I really feel like it's only cause she's lonely and wants to use me until she's done getting over her ex. I don't know. Can't force someone to love you. I really tried my best and always tried accommodating to her. Some of the most gentleman-like and romantic and caring ways that you could imagine. I hear I'm very good looking and I'm very smart, so don't know what else I could have done. I think that sometimes when you give too much and cater to someone as much as you can, they take it for granted and that's that.
However I think it's for the best. Like I said, I'm unemployed and I hope now she can find someone who can provide for her, I doubt she'll find someone who treated her as well as I did, but I hope whoever she finds doesn't use her and leave her. She's a very pretty girl with a very good heart and sometimes too trusting of people.
So I guess there's a long answer to your question. Doubt any of it makes sense.
Also, while I'm athletic and fit, her ex was a muscle guy with 6-pack and all and was a new York fireman. That's like Most girl's fantasies isn't it. Hard to compete with that I guess.View Thread
hey cat. it was my pleasure. i'm glad you liked it, i was worried nothing i said would help.
1 thing i wanted to say about how you miss you and you used to be so much fun and all.. i can understand that, and i heard that from my now ex-gf from time to time...(she broke it off with me today)
i can also say i used to drink a lot..havent had a drink in 9 months, but in the beginning i used to think along the same lines, that i wouldnt be fun and i would miss the drinking version of me...and sure, every rare often i do miss that guy, but i see life as so much better without alcohol, and while it may not be the same thing as fibro, i think you learn a different part of yourself and that brings happiness and when youre in tune with yourself that much more, you can have more fun and enjoy the person you are. i think its different because your condition gives your limitations, but i know acceptance of any circumstance allows you to have more peace with it.
when i spoke to her yesterday, my ex also wanted me to tell you that meditation helps her a lot and she finds peace from it and allows her to deal with stress better... you may want to check out: http://www.dhamma.org/
i also have to say i admire your courage for coming on this forum and sharing your experience. i also learned from the ex that it takes time to build up to do that and not everyone can.
How are you doing today?
I hope you're better. I saw your posts and just wanted to give you some company. My gf has fibro and I try to be there for her when she's going through a rough patch, ad reading posts like yours helps me better understand what people with fibro go through, though I'll never really know. Even still, it bothers me when dr's, family members or anyone looks at my gf like she's crazy or there's something wrong with her if she all of a sudden doesn't feel like doing something. I hope one day to try to raise awareness.
I think it takes a special kind of person to battle through fibro for 27 years and learn to live a new kind of life. I'm beginning to do the same in some small ways by being a relationship with someone with fibro. I wish I could feel the pain and fatigue she has to go through sometimes so I knew how she felt and I also always wish like I could do something to help her. There were times she wanted to hurt herself in bad moments, and she had clouded judgement. But when the rough time passes, she recollects why she has to keep fighting.
I think life is beautiful in that a smile can change another person's day, nature dances around us and there's so much to explore in our own minds. Im sure it's tough sometimes for my gf, and I don't know what keeps her pushing on, but I hope you aren't took hard on yourself and push yourself but pace at the same time and just take some time to be proud of things you've done, how well you have dealt with fibro and other life issues. I'm sure I can say for certain there are many people in this world who wouldnt have done as good of a job. And also living in America, sometimes we take for granted how fortunate we are, even if we do suffer from health or financial or whatever issues.
Anyway. Maybe nothing I said makes sense. But just wanted to give you some company. Take careView Thread
through reading the threads, i was wondering if people with fibro are inclined to suffer from multiple ailments/conditions/diseases? i am currently under the impression that they are more likely to over people who may not have fibro?View Thread
This happens pretty often,
Today my gf had a great and busy day. She went to a conference all day and was social and times like this is when her ambition gets out as she's involved with things she really wants to do with her life, rather than the job she has now. And ultimately she'd like to do some motivational stuff and some sort of public speaking.
As she excitedly told me how the day went for her and all she did ( she even won an iPad 3, but then gave it away to some little kid - though half of me thinks she could have at least sold it and had a little financial relief from her mounting debt issues, the other half knows the kid can make great use of it and that's one of the many reasons I like to think of her as sunshine.)
Anyway, in the back of my head, as she was yapping away, I was wondering what tomorrow would hold for her and how she would deal with it if it were a bad fibromyalgia day. She's so excited now, is that gonna cause her to get really down if she isn't feeling well tomorrow?
Sometimes I'll try to tell her to maintain balance of emotions in that you shouldn't get too excited or too sad about things cause you may end up disappointing yourself. This time I didn't want to say anything cause I wanted her to enjoy the moment and if it was one of those moments where she felt like she forgot she had fibromyalgia, I didn't want to ruin that for her.
But I wonder if she was thinking about fibromyalgia and if she'd have a bad day tomorrow. I guess what I'm wondering is how can I be supportive to her during the good times/days and not just trying to do that during the bad times or days. I wonder if there's a certain type of support that would be good to give that would help her state of mind if she does have a bad day tomorrow.
Another note, I still don't know how to support her during the bad days.
Just looking for some feedback. I feel like I should be trying to do more to help. Especially since I can't provide for her financially. (for the time being that is)
Also, yesterday as I read to her some posts from here and she mentioned possibly starting a journal. I wasn't trying to push her, but I told her today might be a good day to start given how she loved her day. I told her just writing one sentence was enough cause you have to start somewhere and everythig starts smalls and seemingly crappy but it's something that she can be open and honest with and no one would see it but her. I hope she does thatView Thread