i know its terrible for me to complain given i dont have to go through the pain of fibro, but i really feel frustration building up because of the lack of sexuality. i guess what is going through my mind is that she's had an active sex life with others and now here i am, thinking of spending the rest of my life with her, and she cant give me what she gave to others. and that bothers me and i dont know how to overcome it. i dont mind the night of not going out, or just laying around with her cause she's too tired, or anything else that comes along with the fibro, but i dont know if i can get over that one thing...View Thread
hey lou. looks like the cymbalta's kicking in..she's feeling much better in terms of pain and no more suicidal thoughts. she's asking me to go running with her tomorrow morning, so we'll see how that goes.
today i'm doing well in terms of not being sexually frustrating so that'll be good for when we hang out tonight.
i feel guilty taking all this advice from you and not being able to offer anything in return
hey lou, thanks for replying. i'll follow your guidance. i think the good thing about me is that i'm a mama's boy and in turn a great sous chef of hers, so i dont mind doing anything in the kitchen or cleaning up around the house. its the same thing for my parents, i would rather do the work/errands rather than them. so its lucky i have the patience for that, so it makes my girl's life easier. i'm monitor to see if it leads to her eventually doing a major cleaning.
today she had suicidal thoughts and depression because of just starting cymbalta and i put up another post about it cause she was interested in what you guys had to say...
i'm trying to be better for her, but yesterday i caused her some stress which may have led to her bad day today..it was over something stupid, but sometimes i feel like i have to put my foot down, even when most of the time i wont just because i dont want to burden her. i feel like i still have to treat her like a healthy person, and not fall to her every concern or demand? i dont know. i'm still figuring it out...
i also think i'm trying to figure out how to deal with my sexual frustrations (i'm 29 and i think at my hormonal peak, if there is such a thing for guys) by happenstance (i swear) i came across an article that said semen ingestion was healthy:
Apparently semen contains "mood-altering chemicals" like estrone and oxytocin (which elevate mood), cortisol (which makes people more affectionate), serotonin (which is like an antidepressant), and melatonin (which induces sleep).
i contemplated bringing that up to her in that it helps with her problem and mine, but i dont know if thats just me being a pervert or not. ....i'm probably being a hopeful pervert..haha...like i said i'm trying to learn how to come to terms with things just as she isView Thread
she started cymbalta for 3 days and it reduced the pain of fibro, but today she was really depressed and had suicidal thoughts..i think it was mounting stress over debt and i guess i said something to her last night that upset her. so my negativity was a contributor to her bad day today.
she's wondering if anyone had similar issues when starting cymbalta and how she can learn to deal with stress and just coping with fibro better?
i'm curious, how in depth do the the suicidal thoughts usually get? should i be prepared by having emergency numbers on hand to call in case she takes the thoughts to the next step?
thank you guys again for your guidance and experiences. its such a tremendous help. she actually broke up with me last night, but then came back this morning. guess was just having mood swings, but it looks like shes thinking more clearly today and sometimes various stresses overburdens her.. i try to work on things to improve about myself every day, and i can see patience and holding in my own frustrations are going to be a priority until i have a good handle on them, otherwise i'm just going to be adding stress to her and it wouldnt be beneficial for her to be around me. i'm learning a lot from you guys. hope youre having a good dayView Thread
she just started cymbalta today cause she is so depressed and also to help with the pain, but she said once she took it her mood from when she awoke completely changed - she felt like crap, felt nauseous and didnt eat anything all day. she's on the lowest dosage, i think of 30mg...
she wanted to know if anyone else felt like crap after taking cymbalta...
i was curious as to whether she should force herself to eat something even though she has no desire to (all she ate was yogurt and drank ginger ale...isnt it worth force-eating to make sure your body is getting enough nutrients? isnt it important altogher for someone with fibro to make sure they are getting the right nutrients every day even if they dont feel like eating? she doesnt eat much most of the time...she's suffering self esteem issues now, even though she looks great...
it also bothers her that her own family doesnt understand what she is going through...her older sister has lupus, so she kinda gets it, but her younger sister, who is healthy, can sometimes be abrupt with her..she also wonders how her younger sister doesnt try to understand what she's going through...
also my gf also finds herself cancelling plans with others somewhat often, though never with me (i'm lucky)...for instance in 2 days, she's supposed to go to some event with her older sister in nyc, but because she wasnt feeling well today, is having self esteem issues and isnt in the mood to dress up, and also wants to rest up after work and before another work day...i was asking her if she wants to wait until thursday to make the decision to go or not. what would you guys recommend in terms of planning out your days? is it best to just take it day by day, only look ahead a few hours, or what?
also she beats herself up a lot. in the morning she'll tell herself that she's going to exercise after work, and then she wont be in the mood or have to energy to do so..i try to tell her to not be hard on herself and think of it as if you work out, great, if not, no big deal you can see if you feel like it another day....how would you guys recommend approaching this?
thank you guys for replying with such useful guidance. i'll make sure to follow as advised.
im glad this community exists and like i said reading through the posts helps me, cause it allows me to know how i can play a role in her life. though at the moment it seems like i have to do a lot of apologizing, and sometimes i feel like a puppet and i have to display a whole lot of patience and cover any frustrations. i am trying to understand her perspective. sometimes i dont feel the love from her that i can get elsewhere, and that eats me up sometimes, but i'm trying to have faith.
she'll tell me every now and then how she feels like she should be alone so she's not a burden, and that she wants me to be happy and to have a 'normal' life with someone. i wonder how that affects her day to day thinking and wish i could have a better glimpse into that.
at least now, because of this community, i know not to try to push her to do things like clean up her apartment, cause i thought that clearing things out and open space would help her attitude, and to allow her to do that on her own time and when she's ready...but i struggle to understand as to whether it is helpful to sometimes give someone with fibro a nudge here and there for their benefit.
her libido has decreased and i'm trying to keep my frustrations in control with that, but sometimes i'm rude to her because of those frustrations. nothing too drastic i think, because i always try to be mindful not to say anything to cause her more stress. but i can still be rude sometimes.
i'm probably not supposed to be using this site like i am, but i'm learning how to live when someone dear to me has fibro and i dont know where else to go, so i guess i have to bother you guys. i dont want to give up on a relationship with her just because of some stupid health issue, but i feel like i need to figure out how i can be a positive part of her life while at the same time being content and happy within myselfView Thread