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I am feeling kinda rough today but did sleep better... Like a crash... Got up a couple of times very weak and shaky... Made it to the bathroom and back to bed... But I wasn't testing it any further... This morning I am not much steadier...
Pain is on the rise... Jerking is like playing notes on a piano and the keys are trigger points lol... Now that's an analogy isn't it lol.... I am trying not to beat the keyboard up... But I hit me in the face twice now... I can't get me coffee... My son is missing in action from our coffee date lol... He must be getting ready for his big meeting for work... The general manager convention thingy... He misses his kids so much he said he wants to miss their $20. a plate supper so he can come home for hamburger helper to see them... I told him if I would be guaranteed food I could keep down I would go in his place lol...
Speaking of him... I am getting out of here to write a message about him and his FM... Yeh unfortionately my baby boy followed in my footsteps... I told him he could follow me and be a great person lol... but leave my illnesses out of it lol... didn't work...
Take care... Remember to tell your friends and loved ones you love them... I just lost another dear friend... He was taken this morning in an accident... I will miss him... One of the few I kept in touch with when my husband died...
Love... Jan/DakotaView Thread

The bump pain on my head seems to finally have let go now I have a migraine that won't let go... My migraine meds do bring it down so the Dr. doesn't want to do more... I am out of my Imitryl which would probably put an end to it but she won't give me another prescription for it... So I ride it out again... I wish Dr's were as smart as me sometimes lol... lol.. lol... Don't you.. lol... lol... lol...
I am back in flares again... MS is the worse... Parkinson's Jerking is next and I am headed to an FM flare for I already have more flu like symptoms and beating the keyboard hurts worse... But my miraculous word program works only without this nasty stutter... Which I am told is a stammer not a stutter... Asked what the difference is... I was told... Stuttering is breaking up and stammering is actually trying to talk too fast... I have had stuttering trouble all my life at times... I can concentrate to deal with it but all the concentration in the world won't slow this down... Maybe they are right... lol... And maybe I just can't concentrate hard enough anymore... lol... I already feel like half my brain is dead... lol... Did I say :HALF"... lol... lol...
This fog has been funky these fine days... I didn't cal my Mom for a week... I call her every day and actually thought I talked to her a lot sooner then that... But according to my phone history it was over a week... Not like me I am the only one out of 5 kids that call her every day... I was shocked to hear she hadn't heard from me... It is greatly important to me to call her every day unless the sound of my voice would only worry her more... I set a daily alarm now to call her... How sad I can't remember even her any more...
Can I be so absent minded at 55... {Well... I do sorta remember... I am 55 and turn 56 in May... Only because my first born turns 36 tomorrow.... Sorta dates me} lol... Is it all my illnesses or the meds... Or simply because TV and books aren't stimulating enough lol... I find self help books to be stimulating and Steven King even more stimulating... But I do have to re-read chapters by the dozen... Do any of you have this trouble sometimes... It is simply driving me crazy... I read like a race horse... Love my books... Started to build my collection again for after I have a harder time hearing/go deaf... Have to have something to replace the stimulating TV... Listening to TV and being pestered by grandchildren is one thing lol... Reading captions thru grandchildren pestering you is another lol... Don't you think lol...
I am also looking for something that throws more light then my angels that light up and change colors... like the tree toppers... I need it to relax with... If I put them all together they light up the room better but I like them to circle around me... I want something like a soft fading light to take the place of my music... Any advice... I can't seem to think of anything... did think of stringing Christmas lights tho lol...
Well,,, I have rambled enough... Love to you all...
Just found out... I lost another friend today... An accident early this morning... They think he went quick... Don't forget to tell your family and friends how you feel about them... You never know when it will be too late...
Take care... Love... Jan/DakotaView Thread

I Don't mind paying tho if I am really loving it... I watch my football... I am a football fanatic... And cheer for most teams but especially for the Cowboys... So on TV... Or computer... I cheer for them... On TV sometimes I get physically active... I have fallen out of bed or the wheelchair... lol... But this last year it only happened once... I am trying to prevent falls now lol... And trying to do more screaming and less action... Even tho my grandchildren keep reminding me that they are on TV/computer and cannot hear me... I say they do but they don't see it lol... Anyway... I won't give up my football but I do sleep thru it and tape it for later lol...
I also don't give up a lot of special time with my grandkids unless I am in really bad shape...
Such Is Life In The World Of Jan...
Take care... Love... Jan/DakotaView Thread

I always think it is best to replace then to mourn on... And that's what I do without finding a pet to love... They are medicine to me... And a reason to get exercise lol... Angel won't go outside without me taking her lol... Anyone else can go so far as carrying her out and the minute they put her down she runs back to the doggy door... No matter how bad the urge... The minute I get up to take her she goes fine... Think she knows I need to get up worse then she needs to go out lol...
I am glad to share your joy... I count my blessings every time I have a horrendous headache and Angel licks my neck and forehead and it relaxes it some... And when my hands are super numb she licks them and they get some feeling back again too... Better feel the pain then nothing at all I mean to tell you... Hands with no feeling don't even pet right... lol...
Pets are so intuitive... She lies next to my legs when they have muscle spasms... And next to my back when it does... And next to my shoulders when the ice pack isn't there... Tried to lie on the ice pack but I think it was too cold lol...
She just knows when to love me and when to cuddle and kiss me... So have all my animals... And they all knew when I needed them... It is such a miracle... Such a blessing...
I hope you enjoy your new love... And that potty training goes fast...
Don't let it become my son's dog... She is so close to him and his kids she has separation anxiety when he or they leave... We have lost several pillows and stuffed animals and shoes and kitchen utinsels because of it... She just goes nuts... Being I am usually always home I try to talk her thru it and let her play with Angel... who she loves... sorta cool watching a chiwawa and golden retriever playing like they are nuts lol... but the first time she gets bored she searches for him/them and hits the destructiveness cycle...
Good luck training... Have fun loving...
Take care... Love... Jan/DakotaView Thread

We were watching TV on the bed... And if my grandson jumps on the bed I am on it hurts so bad I see double... Needless to say he wasn't on the bed much longer... Gave him 2 chances not 3 to not jump...
I felt doubly bad for he was trying so bad to be good and I think he was just getting excited over the movie... And after last weekend when both he and his sister came back from their mom's bouncing off angry walls... We almost couldn't deal with it... Finally we discussed it and came up with a plan...
His sister is at his Mom's... So we are getting her back today again and he goes... I am prepared for the anger this time... I have a pillow all picked out... The first sign of twisted anger and I will hand it to her... Telling her she promised me to take her anger out on the pillow and beat it and not hurt me...
Hailey is 4 yrs old and Ethan is 5 yrs old.......
The advice needed is...
I don't know if I can tell them that I understand they can't get angry with their Mom...
I can't put her down like she does me in any way... And I think they will feel that I am acting like her... I know they are afraid she will leave if they get angry with her for they both told me so... And they told me they can get angry and take it out on us cuz we won't leave them... It is nice they have that knowledge... Especially with her trying to get Hailey to believe that if she is bad at home she will be sent to live with her... Didn't work... We told her we would keep her here and love her more... Anyway... I just wish they weren't going thru this... Why any mom would do this to her children is beyond me...
But should she expect anything else after deserting them 6 times now... She can't even take a vacation to see her sister without threatening "not to come back because I am mad at Nany and Daddy..." And then she wonders why Ethan won't talk to her and is mad... Poor baby has been threatened... And he thinks he is not good enough and thinks his Mommy is being mean to his Daddy and Nany... I thought it was the other way around... But he set me clear... It is the other way around with his sister... And she is trying everything she can to get Mommy to be happy with her... And us... So she will stay...And still come back home... But now she has been told that "Mommy won't move back home unless Nany and Uncle Richie move out and go live with Aunt Irene in New Mexico... It is Nany's fault I am not at home" When she is mad she constantly mentions that now... I don't say anything... I haven't figured out what to say... Her Daddy has told her that isn't true tho...
Part of me wants to tell them that I understand that they are mad at their mom and can't be mad at her so they come home with all the anger... And have to do something with it here... But I am afraid I will be like her in doing this... My question is would you tell them...
The only thing I have told them about their anger so far is that they can't get angry at one person and hurt another... That is when we brought the pillow into the picture... "If you want you can hit a pillow until you feel less angry and feel better..."
So that's pretty much it... Please help me with my poll... I so appreciate it...
Take care and Thank you... Love... Jan/Dakota
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Those who migrate south for the winter aren't liking it this year... Some of them have complained to me... like it is my fault... Like "I" control the weather just cuz I live here... lol... Don't I wish... I would surely even it out a lot better lol... warmer winters... Well I doubt it... Maybe a snow storm... at least one lol... And cooler summers... So I can at least go outside for part of the summer... At least go outside for the spring... That would be nice... But we get no fall and spring here... Jumps to cold and hot... To cold and hot... I do miss the seasons so very much... I miss the "regular" temperatures... Even when the cold was around 0 and then around 90... At least I could see a snowman and a beautiful snow angel... Did hurt a lot to get back up tho lol... lol... lol... And I could last in a pool longer then 10 minutes before the heat told me to go inside... lol...
Today's high will be 64 at least... Yesterdays was 59... But it felt cold all day... I wasn't out in it much... The one thing I like about hurting and feeling weak and sick is I don't get up much to smoke... We go outside or in the garage to smoke... Both are about as cold but the garage is minus the wind lol...
My pain level was out the window and then out the universe yesterday... And I had to make a special day for my grandson Ethan... It was a rotten day... But he was cool about it... I felt bad... He just kept telling me that he loved me like it was going to cure me... And I must admit it helped a lot... Till he started jumping on the bed... Then our day came to an end...
I am writing a post about something I want a poll on... Not exactly FM related... More life related... Hope some of you will give me your opinion... I would greatly appreciate it... It means a lot to me and I find myself really needing advice from people I trust... That is you for the most part... Thank you in advance...
Hope you are all having a great day... Pain free or as pain free as can be would be nice... I am not in as much pain as I was in yesterday so I am counting my blessings... And thanking God... Still have a slight weird headache... But I will keep ice packing it...
You all take care and do something special for yourself today {and everyday... for you are special...}...
Love... Jan/DakotaView Thread

Ok... Hi all... And good Friday to you... It will be a busy weekend here... No rest for the wicked.... The kids aren't going to Moms and aren't very happy about it... She had a death in the family.. Her uncle who was almost likable given less a beer or 2... was found in his home by his roommate... Who didn't call the police for hours until his family could view him... So now there are investigators and everyone involved... Seems he didn't know you didn't have to call them first... It is against the law not to or some bull like that... Anyway he is in trouble and the family including my X-DIL that had cut him out of their life is acting all weird now... They said he quit drinking 4 days ago and that's what killed him... I helped him thru withdraw once a long time ago... It could have if he drank worse then he did then... That was years ago... He also had a bad heart... He was being treated for it the last time I seen him about a year ago... And he did say he was "still drinking.. He had no reason to quit.. " He was living with my son and his wife when I was with them for my granddaughters birth... He was sober then... And a good friend... It was too bad he had to die alone...
I would like to go to his funeral... But my son doesn't suggest it... Thinks because of my negative relationship with my X-DIL it will just bring on another fight... I can say goodbye to him in my heart like I do everyone else... It would probably be a stress I don't need... He's right... And I am in no shape for adding stress...
Now for the good news... I must have fixed the problem with my keyboard lol... I am actually typing and not losing every other letter lol... Nor have I lost this message... But if another message shows up we know it didn't get lost just sent too early lol... My jerking is making me a real mess these days... It is definitely the "Parkinson's Rap" and not just the Parkinson's Dance"... No walzying thru life for me anymore lol... I definitely am not a graceful ballerina... lol... I need to play Rap music for breakfast to keep up with the beat lol... Then atleast I won't look like a spastic... Just look like an "over aged" {elderly} Rapper... My stuttering creates the rap song to go right along with it lol...
Actually my stuttering isn't too bad today... I stutter more typing lol... But that is fixable lol...
I can go rest now... But want to check out a couple of messages here... You all have a great day... Be good to yourselves...
Take care... Love... Jan/Dakota
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Pain is a difficult thing to live with and an even more difficult thing to watch a loved one suffer with the feeling that there is nothing you can do... Your reaching out here and your helping her is marvelous...
I agree with BetteK get to a SSDisability Lawyer right away... It costs nothing up front... Hopefully it isn't too late to appeal... Even if it is having them refile for her always helps... So let them take over... And do exactly what they say... And don't expect miracles... Just pray for one... lol...
Also... Read as much as you can about FM... {AK/ fibromyalgia/ AK/ the dragon} We have some information here as you can see and there are other places that are good too...
First information she is going to need is our "Tool Kit"... Written by our members here to discuss what helps them to deal with FM... This is under "Helpful Tips" to the right but this is the direct URL to it...
http://forums.webmd.com/3/fibromyalgia-exchange/tip/4
These are 2 places I go to keep in touch with FM and where I went to learn about it...
http://www.fibrocenter.com/index.aspx
http://www.fmnetnews.com/
Here is an excellent written piece to help you understand the life your friend is now living... It was written by a woman about her life with lupus... However, it so resembles all chronic illnesses that we all sorta borrow it.. With her permission of course...
The Spoon Theoryby Christine Miserandino
http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/wpress/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/
To be honest wit you... It helped me find a better understanding of myself... I so am glad for that...
I hope you find the help you and your friend need here... And once again... Thank you for being there for your friend... /she is a very lucky woman... I am sure she knows that...
Bless you... Take care
Love... Jan/DakotaView Thread

Oh well... I am in the funny MANIC High mood... Hoping that it lasts a lot longer then it has... And it is now working on its 22 hour... Not counting my 6 hours sleep... No not all at once but enough at once to feel it ONCE... LOL...
So... I was sharing it with you all... Being the JERKY.. SPASMATIC... WOBBLY... ROBOT... I am today... I have to find lots to LOL about... so I needed the manic attack and definitely am putting it to use LOL...
I woke up at 4 AM so very JERKY that I took 3 steps and JERKED myself BACKWARDS... Falling to bump my head hard on my bed frame... That was a jerk I mean to tell you... I do remember the jerk and the room going black but I don't know if I was knocked out... Took me about 15 minutes to get up... Then another 30 to walk again... and then 15 minutes later I was on the floor again for I fell forward this time on my knees... Messing up my already chronically messed up knee... Up again 10 minutes later and deathly afraid to walk and sleep... But I managed to do both...
So as I sit here typing I am SLAMMING the keyboard as I JERK away yet... You know how I joke about doing the "Parkinson's Dance" Today it is definitely more the "Parkinson's RAP DANCE" LOL.... I am even rapping sitting down!!!!!!!!!!!!
It took me over 2 hours to type the message I cancelled... But it happens a lot... I am actually getting use to it LOL... I usually am good at copying it... But I was so busy jerking and laughing because my intelligent spell checker couldn't correct the words LOL that I forgot LOL...
I am a bit dysfunctional brainwize today today too... The back of my head is slightly swollen... I think it didn't like the whack in the fall LOL... And my body screams and screams for pacing real soon after getting up to do laundry... I can get only some of the laundry out and it is screaming... Don't make a whole load... Not nice... Need to make a whole load... Very slow this way... Very very tiring this way....
I liked the other one better had so many more LOL's... LOL...
This one has a headache LOL... Not enough MANIC LOL...
And I see only one load carried in and possibly might be able to go rest in bed after this one for I have clothes... Kids have school clothes and don't have school till Tuesday LOL... And this load will mean my son has work clothes for a couple of days... And the load in the drier takes care of my other son... So that means just my sheets... which can just be replaced and the kid's blankets... which were replaced already... are it for tomorrow... Yup...
And I am off to get that one in the washer... or the rest of it... now... And shall rest a while... My 2 fingertips that have any feeling in them are yelling at me because they are tired of the JERKING slamming them into the keyboard... so I will close and send more later/tomorrow/when I get out of bedrest LOL...
Take care.... Love.... Jan/Dakota
PS... It is working this time LOL
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Mine has worked out as far as the children returning home... Now the parents are having problems staying together... I believe they have fought so hard for the kids that they forgot each other along the way... It's sad... And just finding out... They say it may be irreversible... Too late for them... And more hardship for the grandchildren...
That is some of the stress I have been dealing with this week... That and some stress close by similar to it... Once again coming from a source not expected from...
Then of course we all know how FM reacts to stress... Throw in a MS and Parkinson's reaction and you have a very sick Nany and 2 very upset grandchildren... And 2 very upset sons... And then there was that good Dr friend that called every Day... Threatening the hospital every other phone call...
But I lived thru it... Thus this fine Friday... I am almost
FM flare free... not as weak so almost maybe in MS remission... I can suddenly see again so am more optical migraine free then last night... or 4 AM... LOL... And well... doing a great job at beating this keyboard up... LOL... And I am throwing things across the room if attempting to hold things... LOL... And Yes drinking my coffee with a straw... And Doing The Parkinson Dance... LOL... LOL...
So... No... The Parkinson's hasn't mellowed out... But what the hay... As long as I can stutter good enough for someone to understand and correct my typing good enough for you to read... I am sitting good... Right?? Right...
Well... If I want to read here and check some email... I better say good bye... You all have a glorious day... Hope many have as close to a pain free day as possible...
Take care... Love... Jan/Dakota
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