I have about reached my wits end.... I'm so frustrated right now and I feel so absolutely alone, which is absurd! I' writing on this discussion board as a last ditch effort. This is the point I'm at right now... I'm so sick and tired of being sick and tired. Same old story, I guess. I really hate to complain about it, but just when I thought it couldn't get worse, it did. This past weekend was possibly the worst flare I have ever had since having been diagnosed a few years back. I feel like I'm slowly but surely turning into a recluse. I encourage my family to do activities without me because I drag them down. There is no way that I can keep up with all of them and all of the activities that normal school age children participate in. I'm so tired of missing graduations, concerts, 4H presentations, I feel like I'm missing everything! If I make myself go, which I do try to, I end up regretting it for the next three days...bare minimum...This past weekend I slept all day saturday, saturday night, sunday, and most of sunday night...I'm really so embarrassed to even be posting this...I feel like such a lousy person! My kids can't even touch me! Neither can my husband for that matter. I feel like a burden--my poor husband took care of the kids all weekend and set up babysitters so I could rest----this isn't the first time, and I feel so bad about it. I know none of us can help the fact that we have fibro, but I absolutlely hate these limitations. I cry all the time, my self worth is down, I miss my children, I miss my husband, I can't go to the doctor because I don't have the money, I am not taking anything other than a B vitamin complex...and I still haven't been able to get the savella back since my last post! I don't want pity, and I am so sad that other people have to go through this too, but I just don't know what to do anymore. My husband tries to understand, but I guess I just don't know how to shake the self doubt and the horrible feelings I have because I can't do all I used to do. My husband says we're going to the doctor, but we can't afford it. Quite frankly, I'm not sure when we can. I feel like I'm falling down a tunnel and my life is staying at the top and I'm falling to the bottom. I can hear and see everything that's going on---I just can't be a part of it.I pray constantly, but lately, I've been too tired to do anything. I hope you are all having "good" days.
Hey Everyone! I hope you are all well, but we all truthfully know the answer to that. I was just wondering if anyone had any ideas on how to start an exercise regimen? Everytime I start light, even by walking, it ends up to be too much.View Thread
Hello to all of you, It seems that I always only write in the wee hours of the morning, but thats the only time I have access to the internet. It is so inspiring to be able to look online and read about other peoples struggles with Fibromyalgia. The reason I'm writing tonight is because I was wondering how do you all accept your own limitations...I mean, honestly, I haven't really figured mine out yet. I have always had a very strong will and I am so used to pushing past my limitations...that I can't seem to stop myself from getting angry and bitter because I spend so much of my time hurting...and when I'm not hurting I spend so much of my time "pretending" that I'm not hurting, so that my family won't feel bad. Im absolutely sick and tired of hurting and yet I cant seem to do any little thing anymore without really regretting it. Is it this way for everyone else? How have you learned to manage it? I'm so sorry for complaining and whining so much---I just don't know what to do anymore. Its as if I can't have any more happy moments because they are all weighed down with pain...that stupid deep pain that is always there.Any advice at all is welcome.View Thread
I just wanted to tell you thank you for responding to my post. I left around pamphlets for my husband to read and I believe he read them. However, maybe it's not that he doesn't understand. I just feel so bad about not being able to do as much as I used to do. Actually, honestly I am having a hard time accepting my own limitations. Hope you are well.View Thread
Hey Will82, I'm a nurse and I urge you to take your dad to either his regular doctor or to the emergency room. Swollen ankles can be indicative of a lot of different things...none of which I will share because I don't want to scare you. As a nurse, we aren't allowed to diagnose people with diseases but rather focus on helping people to cope with things. I would highly suggest having your dad elevate his legs and to take him to the doctor asap. Hope all goes well.View Thread
Does anyone have any recommendations of a doctor that actually believes Fibromyalgia is real and has an interest in learning about it and helping patients? I don't want to settle for any doctor, being it costs too much, but I need to find a doctor that already knows about fibromyalgia and is willing to help me...I don't know if you're allowed to post doctors names or anything, but I'm trying to find a doctor that focuses on Fibromyalgia.View Thread
I hate to be the one to ask this, but I have to. Does anyone else feel like they can't really tell anyone else the amount of pain they're in? I try to tell my husband, my children, my mother in law, and my whole family, but I always end up feeling like I'm just whining. I know I'm not whining. I know that I am not simply complaining. I just think that sometimes it's so hard to get it through to my family. I have a 6 year old, an 11 year old, and a 13 year old. How can I explain why I flinch every time they touch me? Or how can I explain to them that I've already done too much for one day? or that I did too much yesterday and am paying the ultimate price of severe pain today? I don't really know how to educate others about my health condition...See, my husband is extremely understanding and he understands that sometimes I just can't keep going on as if nothing is wrong----but---I don't know....I want my family to understand...and it's not for lack of trying on their part....I just don't feel like they get it...Has anyone else had this problem? Or has anyone else breached this subject? Surely you have, please help me. How can I break it down for them? I don't want to scare them...but I don't want them thinking I just like to sit around either.View Thread
Dearest Jan, Oh, how I wish there was some magical formula I could give you to help lift your spirits right now. As of a few minutes ago, I put you on my prayer list...(a list that helps me to remember all the people I'm praying for). I feel your pain and your anguish when I read your post...I don't pity you because I myself hate pity. Sometimes I just want to cry and not get out of bed...I want to roll over,put the pillow over my head, and fall back to sleep...(ha ha...that never works). I wish I could give you inspirational words...words that would rip your pain in half and give your spirits a new lift....The only thing that comes to mind right away is to let you know that your heavenly father knows where you have been, he knows where your are going, and he knows what you are going through. One of my favorite psalms to read is 139. Please read it now, if you can. Sometimes when you are hurting and no one is in your shoes it helps to put things into perspective. It always helps me to feel a little better when I realize that God knows right where I am at. Will it make your pain go away? Or will it make all these medicines start working? No, honestly it won't. But I want you to take rest and joy and peace in the fact that you aren't alone at all, really. It won't make this ordeal you're going through any less or any easier, but maybe it will be hope. Sometimes, because I'm a nurse, and I'm a "do-gooder", I have to make myself say no to things that I really want to say yes to. Sometimes, because I'm a nurse, I know that I must keep going even when my body stops me and begs me to sit for awhile. I've realized after having fibromyalgia for 4 years that I need to listen to my body...it has a way of telling me it's reached it's limit.
As for coping...sometimes nothing makes the pain better. Sometimes, I have to trick my brain...by making it think in ways it never has thought before. Occassionally it works and I've suddenly found myself getting lost in a new skill or hobby. Is there anything you've always wanted to learn more about? I know it won't be easy with the fibrofog, but it might help your self worth....just ideas. Please get some rest....I hope you feel better soon.View Thread
I'm tired of the doctors and nurses I see acting like I'm seeking pain medicine. In fact, the last time I went to my doctor was in August and he told me I was addicted to my pain medicine because I called the office like a crazed addict after they refused to see me because I didn't have the money! Yeah, I was crazy and completely out of line, but it wasn't because I was addicted. It was because I'm so darn tired of hurting. I haven't been back to any doctor since...and I'm just not sure what else I can do...I appreciate you sharing your story. I dont know why but it helps to know I'm not alone. I'm a nurse, but I'm not sure how much longer I can work in that capacity. God bless you and I'll look for future posts from you. Thank you so much for sharing. It seems with your diagnosis of bipolar the community should have some kind of resource for you...but if you're like me, you can't help but feel bad when everyone looks at you like ----"you're in your 20s, you should be in your prime!" oh, they couldn't be more wrong.View Thread