My confidant and good good friend died 2 months ago and I don't have anyone I can call and complain about a flare to.
The local support group here is so into alternative medicine, that as a science-freak, it makes me choke to sit in on presentations there.
But, I'll go next meeting to try to find someone I can have a friendship with.
I am in a flare-up right now, post travel, and have tried to explain to friends how I feel but there is that "talking to a wall" response. I know I need to be very selective in what I tell who.
I'm still smarting from guilt about telling my step-mother (age 75) about how I feel about her. But at least the burden of that relationship is gone. It was a non-intimate relationship masquerading as a close, loving one. No more demands that I take care of my father. They have plenty of resources, just she isn't too smart about what he needs, IMO
The only thing that continues to get to me is a complex regional pain syndrome in my upper back which won't go away. I'm not sure what to do about it. I don't like to spend money but will if it means significant relief.
I'm sorry you have fibro. Over time, you will adapt your life and understand what your body is telling you and things will be more in control. You learn to avoid flare-ups (sometimes).
If, after trying a new drug for 2 weeks, the side effects are worse than any relief the drug offers, then it's time to try a different drug. Most people use a combination of drugs to get relief.
For instance, I take low dose methodone (opioid) with baclofen (a muscle relaxant) and have been doing so for years now without having to increase my dose.
I hope you are taking something for sleep if you need it. Most do. I'm taking trazodone and clonazepam (low doses of each) and they work well for me. But everyone has a different physiology regarding drugs. You need to find what works for you. Fibronet news, run by Kristin Thorsen has a medication brochure that lists all the likely drugs for fibro.
Rest, stretching and gentle walking, relaxing activities that give you pleasure, eliminating stress (as much as you can), communication with loved ones, all of these are part of a coping plan. Hope this helps...a little.....View Thread
Thanks to all of you for responding. It's hard to lose a close friend. I read about spoon theory (?) in Bruce Campbell's self-care series for CFIDS and fibromyalgia, which is on the web and very low cost and has an excellent manual. That helps.
Also, I have been rereading Roger King's beautiful book, "Love and Fatigue in America." He has ME/CFS and I don't and his being so much more sick than me and coping with it makes me feel, well, better.
I will go to the next support group meeting and talk to women there and continue to follow discussions here. Thanks again.View Thread
Hi, I'm new but not to fibro. Recently I went through a stressful time with the sale of a family business. I found that I cannot put up with my feelings toward my father's wife anymore. She keeps asking me to babysit my father while she goes off (she's retired) and plays. They have mega $resources. If I could be a caregiver, I would be working as an RN like I used to 14 years ago. She was deceitful during the sale of the family business and there is a ton of stuff that I can't stand about her. (such as making sure my father's children aren't in his will, for instance),
I don't get anything back emotionally because she doesn't disclose honestly and emotionally. All she does is keep insisting that I take care of my Dad. I have a 4 hour day. 10 am to 2 pm max and then I'm toast. I have explained many times about fibro, its fatigue, its limitations. She says she knows about fibromyalgia. . Doesn't matter, she still thinks I should do what she wants. I blew up at her, finally and I'm done with her. for good. I'll be able to see my Dad because every other month she leaves him for her vacations. I called APS on her because she leaves my father alone in the house at night and he had an injury. Now, she gets it.
Have others felt the same way and have broken off with certain people? I find that if I don't get something back from a person, I have very little patience for a relationship after months of trying to make it work. I only have limited time and energy. I'd rather help my son with his children. He needs the help more than my father does.
Don't give up! Find out if the manufacturer who makes lyrica will help you obtain the drug if you can't afford it. The pharmas all have programs for people who can't afford it.
There are stronger pain meds and other combinations to try. For instance, I take a very low dose of methadone (can be a dangerous drug if exceed your doseage) and baclofen, a muscle relaxant. Works for me.
Check out FNETNEWS and subscribe if you have to; they have a great medication issue or phone then ask them which issue deals with the combinations of drugs for pain.
You can feel life is worth living if you get adequate pain relief. I hope your husband will support you more. Sometimes that is the worst thing about fibro. My husband (ex) sneered, "you have to take a pain pill to have sex". So what? Diabetic take oral medication. People with pain take medication---no difference. It's an illness.
The new drugs like lyrica and savella have been massively hyped by pharma. Don't overlook opioids (narcotics). They have been used for thousands of years for pain. No stigma. You deserve relief. CView Thread
Thank you experky for replying. I guess I feel guilty for blowing up at this woman, my father's wife and for "not taking care of my father" but it is the woman's insistence at not spending my father's money ("her money") on care that underscores the situation. She'd much rather control me and get free labor.
It's unfortunate but necessary that in an angry phone call from her I was able to extract all the truths in the situation.
At least my Dad will get some fresh faces to interact with if she hires some caregivers for daytime. With me, he tries to play the father role and our interaction is about 10 minutes and he's done.
Although I don't usually subscribe to slippery slope arguments, in my step-mother's case, not only does she tell me that she wants me to sit 3 times a week, but so she can go overnight to friends' houses out of town. That's fine. But I am not the person to ask. She is not capable of empathy. I feel sorry for her. A bit narcissistic I think