I had the GD's Friday night to Saturday (all day) so I was hopping. I swear when they left I took a 2 hour nap! They have a lot to do here, that is great but they are like hurricanes to go through it all , leave it behind and I have to pick it up after all.... I got it done after the nap yesterday.
It is raining right now, saw it on radar coming from the west...thank you! Hoping the day turns sunny and I can be outside for some Vit D.
The job is getting better, part of it is my little Mini me...she has to evolve into the fit here. I made a grand stand with a staff member who after 6 weeks of my work still had not done a thing I asked. So, now she knows I am serious and (I know I have the power) life will get easier now. My position is new so to the other offices and I guess they didn't take me serious, but I can see things will be better now. I also have Nursing Law on my side.
I am just having a problem bring our dragon on these road trips with me. I used the rolling suitcase for a bit, it bothered the neck and arms as I lift on steps and onto a chair to work in it. I tried carrying the binders and that wasn't good either, so I am at a loss for travel. I do not bring my pocket book in as that is always a trigger for my neck so this is the dilemma now. Not the mental work but the bringing of policy or medication sheets with me (folders, charts)etc.
The grands recharged my battery Friday...home 15 minutes before they arrived and PURE JOY in the "Nana...Nana"
I just sat and listened to the summer stories they have and what they have been doing. They felt the baby kick in mommies tummy!
They love the "squishy sand" I have in the house I promised them purple on their return! It really is great stuff and it picks up so easy, they use a tray from Express Learning, to work and play with it. (compact area.)
The real joy will be when I am home and they come to me and I have forever to get the house right again!
But that is between 5-7 years.....that makes Olivia 11-13 and Maddy 9-11: Hmm maybe they won't want to be at my house by then? lol We'll see how life goes, see how the dragon treats me and if I don't fold in the meantime.
Mimi: I hope the weather is better for you starting this day. You need to be out and about for your head. Distraction of people and life is a must in the med box! lol (I need a power wash too . )
Linda: Love reading your notes. I always feel like they are part my story or issue. Great hug for Cece.
Cece: Didn't read back to hear the updates but sounding like the work at the end of life has begun. If you need nothing but the memories, enjoy what you have. I was thinking " Patches" the movie...watch it again. Look at what be the best thing for Mom and Dad as something for fun, remember life is a circle and going back is what they do. Childlike at times. Bubbles, coloring, singing old songs on tapes or records. Remember back to what they really liked to do and try and adjust it for now. It is in the moments you have with them, treasure them.
Everyone else I reach out to hug you all, may the weather be perfect and the day have something special for you.
We need to find these special moments as they are the brass rings you cling to when you are hurting so bad. I am still arguing with this mess, but I will never give in, I will never fold. I may roll in a ball and have a heating pad on for a day or two. But I am not giving in.
Hugs from me to all those who fight this everyday.
That advice when shared to me has been a pearl of wisdom I have shared with many I meet that deal with the elderly parent who is confused and in Alzheimer's they are missing the frontal lobe function (where the switch to keep your mouth shut is!!) They have no boundaries.
To displace them as someone else is perfect, it saves YOU...it creates a distance to your heart so they can't hurt you. That is a stranger in the chair yelling away who happens to look like your parent. It was a priceless piece of wisdom she gave me and I am glad to share it with you.
"When you act like that I will call you Charlie and I will not talk with Charlie. When my Dad returns I will have a conversation with him" Stand your ground. Walk away, turn your back (use body language as well) They are like children and how do we handle them........
I remember Mom was yelling at me and I just said " Oh lady you are NOT yelling at me that keeps your world going!" And i giggled. She blinked and blinked and then looked at me better and said...."Oh Nancy, when did you come in?"
The brain is not functioning right and it is actually like Swiss cheese on film. Try and take nothing personal.......
Do things in love and you are never wrong
Change their names to displace yourself
Forgive your sisters for their stupidity and know you have all the points in heaven.
Take time for you, now that they are in the care of others you can take a weekend to pamper yourself. Massage, get some sun, listen to the ocean and buy yourself something for this passage to look back on.
A long tight hug from me. Geez I don't even have time for my own family right now but I wish we were closer. You could dump it on me and let me carry them for a bit. You are designated honorary nurse now. Working as you have for another and nurturing them, meds, doctors appts and ADL's (activity of daily living) (bath, clothes and food)
I just read this now. Between figuring myself out and working I didn't get back on here.
I think the new position is challenging me and I am not eating as I was. I am stupidly choosing sweets to hug myself. (that's what I think) Once I get my feet planted and this is all not so crazy I will need to align myself to my own mantra.
It is knees and shoulders right now that are upset more than the rest of me. I tried working without the rolling suitcase and that is a no no. I cannot carry even a binder with a pocket book! So some I have done to myself. Always testing the dragon to see if he forgot me!
So, I am better and I thank you for the hugs. Just looking around the toolbox to get this fixed.
What are you doing during the day? Don't use the gym you are in no shape for that at this time. You need a tune up first....you are asking more of the body and spirit then you have available and when you crash after it brings you even lower.
What meds are you on? Does your doc know this situation? Are you working I didn't see that in the note?
Work is the center of life for a lot of people as their socialization and we use it to define us.
If you stopped working you need to redefine yourself. YES you need to get support going. How about a support group in the area, do a google search? Look at churches for the meetings they have and get to them, begin to chip a new path for yourself.
Nutrition wise...please switch to water , no pop and plenty of water as dehydration (though you may not think you are) but it makes you fatigued and low.
Tell the doc you need help with the low. Many here are on an antidepressant not because we were depressed but it changes the brain chemistry to help with pain, and also it is mood elevating to get you "out and up".
Try not to put this all on the son, our families don't want to hear it, and they don't understand it, and can do little for us.
BEST is to put it here. I used to cry in the shower so they didn't see me.....I have come a long way with education and changing my eating habits and fluid intake, as well as meds better fitting. My husband came to the doc visit and became my champion to explain to my kids. Helped so much, but I don't speak of it to them, they have their lives to live.
What fits for one may not fit for the other, but there are main things a human body needs and that is water only for sure and good foods (no crap). A diet with plenty of greens which are loaded with antioxidants to help remove crap from your body is a good start. I paid a lot of money to a doc to teach me to breathe right, eat right and he got me on water...in 60-90 days I was so much better. I couldn't walk in the morning for pains in the feet and the leg muscles wouldn't let me walk.
There is a lot of info on this page in many places: In resources is the Members Toolbox, please look in there. I also love to share the book I use which is FM and Chronic Myofascial Pain by Dr Devin Starlanyl (second edition) it teaches self help things to use and guides you to understand this better. I got it on Amazon. Look at it.
I will also say nothing we do is every a quick fix, it will get better now that you are here. We are never pain free but you can get it lowered down so it is in the back and distraction can get you a life again. Turning it down is multifaceted so meds, hydration stretching and good body dynamics all play a role in tools to better.
I am at a close 8-10 hour wellness window and I work full time . I went from no work to part time to 4 days to full time in 15 years. Yes 15 years I have played with our dragon and fought with him to get my life back, to get him to sit behind me and not bite so much.
We use a dragon* to describe something that is so painful at times and that pain brings you low. I was low enough for suicide and that was when my husband took me to the $$$$doc and he changed my eating and changed my life. I credit him for my success. Then my neurologist changed and my meds were adjusted and I am in good shape (for the shape I am in!)
I use a muscle relaxant, a pain med (tramadol) and Savella as my main meds. With Magnesium, CoQ10 and Vit B complex as well. Vit D was so low (this adds to pain) and now in good level. So see I needed a tune up. I was dehydrated too and I didn't know it. It takes a while for that to be repleted so give it 60-90 days. Just flush....help your body rid itself of toxic end products of cell metabolism that are blocking your muscles from functioning. It is so complex no one gets it. But try this.
I never lost my " Don't get sad...get MAD" to fight this. I wish you all the best. Nancy BView Thread
I am still struggling with the body and I think the new position is the cause. I need to develop tools for this activity. I didn't bring the rolling suitcase/travel bag with me this past Thursday and that night into to all of Friday was a mess with pain. I only carried 2 binders and my pocket book. See who would think that was a trigger.
I need to start looking at what mechanics I am using and doing that is triggering the issues I am having. Using body mechanics to my advantage is so important. I always know "arms stay home" as per Dr P, but there is more going on here.
My life is consumed with this project of fixing this office to be compliant with how I practice at the other office and it may very well mean a change in staff if non compliance continues. 5 weeks and nothing has been put in place. Distressed on my part but I have management tools to use to get things moving and in line.
I have been able to get a day in the sun and have a good tan, I used L'oreal spray tan to bring it up a notch. Loving it. It looks like I am in great health and have so much time off at the pool. (truth is I am consumed in work and never see the sun right now) This will get better and I will be back to seeing my grands and a life all in time.
Cece, I caught wind of a sad situation with Dad. I think I mentioned a way to protect your heart is to give them nick names of someone else. When they are confused or yelling at you with hate.....you call them that name and " listen jack, when my dad comes back I will have this conversation, but I am not doing this with you" and change the subject. It also resets their thinking process.
A friend of mine used this and it worked so well for her. I was amazed and never thought of it for Mom, though I was not the one who got the tongue lashings it was DH's sis. I would just remind her, that is not Mom... It breaks your spirit.
You have done what was needed for safety and for best living for them. Put as many familiar things in their rooms to help them.
Remember too, you are the doer...doer get their hands slapped all the time, but it is always "in love" that you do things and it is never wrong when done in love.
My heart goes out to you, this too shall pass and you will know it was right. You are right, and good and the best daughter anyone could hope for!
Try the melatonin Kat suggested, it is a good product. Set yourself up too with low lighting prior to sleep for about an hour and maybe the heating pad for a little boost. I'll send the sandman!**
OK, I have office work to prepare for Monday and I really have to get this done. So I am off. It is raining hard with Thunder (good for the garden) and a perfect day for laundry and working in peace.
I think I am in a flare. I didn't do anything I can think of. I babysat the girls last night and it was in the evening that I could feel it coming on. I got my hair done (heavy highlights) yesterday and being in the sink with my neck was an effort I was trying to be in a good position but I guess it all adds up.
Today I will plant myself, I have a little ironing I have to do for work clothes but I am planted. Just took my meds as I sit here with all of you.
Crap on this as it is forever, no one has us figured out, no one has the wisdom (including me) to keep the flares away. I can't even type. My arms are to my side and hands bent to the drawer that holds the keyboard.
OK, more meds, rest, hydrate and pray that better comes by later or tomorrow. .
Geez Mimi I thought for sure I beat you up! I again will not start the post of the day! I just slept through the night and I am absolutely UP.
Not much else to add here. Great night last night and big party today in Pawling NY (30-40 minutes from me) They catered it all through the deli (good for me as my son noticed there was nothing for me to eat........(gluten free) so he made special for me. Sometimes it is tough to be out in the world.
Hoping again all were safe from last nights crazy displays and each had an experience to remember.
Up at the crack of dawn, slept 7 hours straight, with bladder medicated! T M I ! But what a joy.
Such beautiful fireworks last night , everywhere. I just kept thinking back to colonial times and the "bombs bursting in air", how lucky we are to live in a country where freedom is a right, that you can become anything you want to be, that we are so blest by those who came before.
I wonder how they make those fireworks do what they do. How do they load the stages? What makes the wiggley one...?
Anyway, the weather was perfect and our small impromptu party was perfect and the neighborhood we were in had high beautiful displays to the right and left of us as well. God Bless America. We came home to TCM on TV and watched Yankee Doodle Dandy a great way to end the night!
I hope all of you were safe. We had no events and that is the best, I always feel like I am "on call" during the holiday with neighbors being stupid or just a mistake that can happen. We always have the hose ready and a plan in place.
Summer traditions as you think back are just great aren't they? Those "lazy hazy crazy days of summer" (before air conditioning) When dinner was a salad as you didn't dare turn on the stove! Outside all evening to be cooler than the house. Floating in the pool before bed so you could sleep.
What are your memories of the hot summer as a child?
Sleeping in the basement for the cooler dampness over the attic where our rooms were and no* air! uugh......
OK, I am off to get some things done, hoping to sit in the sun and catch some Vit D for myself. Hugs to all. Rest up the week is ahead. You never know what it is going to bring!.
Have your toolboxes ready, hydrate and stretch. Be champions in your struggle with this. I believe you already are. This is some mess we are in.
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