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THE STORY OF MY PAIN
I've always been in pain, it seems. My mother used to take me to the Dr. for iron shots and to be checked for the constant pain in my arms and legs.
He would gladly give the shot but would answer with some song and dance
diddy of it's only growing pains. You're bones aren't supposed to hurt. Except when trauma is happening. My bones still hurt and not one doc can tell me why. And no, it's not growing pains.
Despite the pain of being me, I did kid things - ran, played, rode horses, a lot, skipped rope and generally acted like a child was supposed to. I developed a mind over pain ideal and it stuck. I went on to run track, soft-ball, still rode horses all the while dealing with this unknown pain. Who knew?
So, now after years and years of pain, headaches, and all the various aches that go along with aging and putting ones body through things it wasn't meant to do - falling off horses, getting hit with bats, fists and softballs, falling while running away from sprinklers, I'm finally slowing down and trying to enjoy upper middle age.
I was diagnosed with FM/CFIDS in 1995. Back when there wasn't a lot known about either one. This came after a total shoulder replacement surgery. A few years later came the inoperable brain tumor. Luckily, it stopped growing so the head pain dramatically decreased. Then one day at the rheumatologist's office, she let it known that I had multiple autoimmune
disorders, among them, lupus. She sent me to an endocrinologist and this doc diagnosed me with addison's disease and suggested I wear a medical bracelet. I do wear it, when I think of it.
So on and on. I needed knee surgery but was anemic, so couldn't have the surgery until the source of the anemia was found. That's when my lymphoma was found. Marginal Zone Lymphoma. So far, I've had two courses of chemo and this is my second remission. I pray this stuff is beat. I don't think I have it in me to do another course of chemo. It takes the life out of me.
I am married to a most wonderful man and have been for 26 yrs. Don't get me wront, he wasn't always wonderful. We've been through some pretty unforgivable times. I have 26 yr. old twin daughters, a 4 yr. old grandson and a 7 mo old grand-daughter. They are the best of the best.
That's it. I'm just me. I've become a better, stronger person because of cancer. Sure, fm/cfids/me is the pits but that's not going to make me stop living.