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GLBT Healthy Living Community

Join us to discuss the health topics important to the gay, lesbian, bisexual, ... more

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Don't Ask Don't Tell

According to CNN, a plan to phase out the Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy should be revealed...

Posted by Byroney_WebMD_Staff

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Coming Soon From WebMD!

Dear Members, Within the next month your WebMD Community will be expanding to offer you all some...

Posted by Byroney_WebMD_Staff

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anal sex?

Im a 20 year old curious male and was wondering what it feals like to be the bottom and if it hurts? also...

Posted by curiousmale

1 Reply | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:anal sex? Im a 20 year old curious male and was wondering what it feals like to be the bottom and if it hurts? also...

asking a friend?

im 20 years old bi-curious male and i have a male friend that i think is really hot, he told me i can talk...

Posted by curiousmale

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Gonorrhea mystery

With much sadness, I have just yesterday ended a very close "friendship with benefits" that had lasted for...

Posted by Nieciedo

With much sadness, I have just yesterday ended a very close "friendship with benefits" that had lasted for almost 2 years.

We had come to care deeply about each other and trust each other, and so for over a year we had been having unprotected anal intercourse with me as the top and him as the bottom. We promised not to have unprotected sex with anyone else and to keep each other advised as to our health status. We both got tested for HIV regularly and shared the results. I had no reason to believe I carried any other STDs.

My friend was, understandably, very concerned about allowing me to penetrate him without a condom, but he had come to trust me and I never did anything to violate that trust. I promised him that I would never do anything to put him at risk. He knew that I had sex with other men, but that I always took the necessary precautions. He said he had not had sex with anyone but me in over a year (not counting mutual masturbation).

The last time we had sex was New Year's Eve. He complained of a little pain and discomfort when we began intercourse but it quickly passed and we had a wonderful, beautiful time.

A few days later, he started complaining of a severe pain in his lower abdomen, in the rectum and groin area. His doctor said it could be either an STD or a prostate infection brought on by trauma of anal sex. He and I concluded it had to be the latter, but the doctor did a gonorrhea culture test just to be sure. As a show of good faith, I had a complete STD screening run as well.

My results came back first. I had no STDs of any kind. The gonorrhea urine test came back negative and my white blood cell count was completely normal. There were no white blood cells in my urine.

His results came back positive for gonorrhea. He was devastated, accused me of violating his trust, and now we are no longer friends. I have grieved but I know I did nothing to hurt him and am ready to move on. What I do not understand is how this is possible.

As my doctor explained it to me, the absence of white blood cells in my urine suggests the absence of infection, but not necessarily so. He said it is possible for a person to still have an infection and have no white blood cells in the urine.

I suppose there is a possibility that the gonorrhea infection is too recent for the urine test to detect, but the white blood cells in my blood (which should have been elevated if there were a recent infection) was normal.

Another thought was that perhaps I was infected on 12/31 and thus infected him, but by the time the test was run on 1/13 the infection had cleared up. But then I realized that gonorrhea does not just go away on its own.

It looks extremely unlikely that I have gonorrhea or have ever had gonorrhea. Yet my former friend has gonorrhea. However, he swears he has not had sex with anyone but me in over a year and both I and the doctor believe him.

Does this make any sense? How can this be?

Many thanks for any insights,

DanView Thread

Posted byNieciedo

(FromGLBT Health & Life: Friends Talking)

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Fantisies

I am a gay male and would love to hear about some of your sexual fantisies.

Posted by loveVegas

10 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Fantisies I am a gay male and would love to hear about some of your sexual fantisies.

Tylenol & Other Meds Recall

Containers' moldy odor to blame for recall of 60 million Over-The-Counter Products. Specific...

Posted by Byroney_WebMD_Staff

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Gay males, age and depression

I am a 64 yo Gay male. Also a chronic depressive, and pain med addict. Some of the depression is situational,...

Posted by coboyray

2 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Gay males, age and depression I am a 64 yo Gay male. Also a chronic depressive, and pain med addict. Some of the depression is situational,...

I don't understand ....either of us

Apologies for the novel in advance..... I'm not "suddenly" bisexual; I have been, for a long time, ever...

Posted by PouncePersia

Apologies for the novel in advance.....

I'm not "suddenly" bisexual; I have been, for a long time, ever since high school. I came out to my parents several years ago, and they tried their best to be "accepting but, they didn't believe me at all. It's only recently that I've been able to mentally accept my own bisexuality.

My (male) mate takes me seriously, and has had some experience dating other women, before me, who were bisexual. He's also a caring, loving man, and went out of his way to give me some private time with a female friend who had expressed desire for me on prior occasions, because he could tell she was nervous having him around. I'm not good at reading women, so I took his suggestions and tried to romance her a bit, but got absolutely no response; made one slightly sexual remark and was rewarded with terror, directed at me.

She's admitted fantasies to me before which I was the subject of. For her sake and mine, and because it is in me to give, I wanted to try to make one of her fantasies come true, in private, just us, so she'd feel safe. It involved some fetishes that I don't share, but I care deeply for her, I wanted to give her what she wanted. She's been through a lot in her life, doesn't trust easily, so I thought it was something we could share, something I could give her. I needed a clear signal from her; didn't get it.

I backed off, and asked her some further questions. Near as I can tell, she didn't want me at all; she wanted to be submissive *in cybersex/cyberspace*. I am crushed that I could have misread her so badly, and extremely sad that my mate would give her, and me, such a gift...and she would just reject it, and me. He shrugged it off, said giving us private time was no big deal, but I know what he was out doing, which was, precisely...nothing, just wasting time until I texted him and told him to come home.

I want to melt into another's arms and hug and kiss them until the hurt lessens. Mate is too busy playing [insert multiplayer online game here> for that. Add to this I can't stop thinking about kissing another women, even though I'm not a good initiator and not really "aggressive" at all.

Add to that, my female friend is supposed to be here for the rest of the week. (No, sex was not the only reason she came to visit, just part of it.) We've done most of what I promised to help her with while she was here, other than that. Most of the time she's been here, she's been involved in cybersex chats/regular chats on her own computer. What do I do? Take her home a couple of days early? Because the hurt still continues and this is no way to spend a visit; we're too broke to entertain her or take her out anywhere much. She was concerned that being with me would damage my relationship with my BF, in truth, her fear, her lack of trust, is doing a lot more damage to my relationship with HER.

I want to give up on women, and maybe I should. At the same time, I'd just like one kiss, one makeout session with a women who's unhampered by beer goggles and who obviously wants me.

I feel like I did when I came out 4 years ago, all over again. I didn't think it could, or would, hurt this much. If anything, it hurts worse, and I can't figure out why....View Thread

Posted byPouncePersia

(FromGLBT Health & Life: Friends Talking)

2 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:I don't understand ....either of us Apologies for the novel in advance..... I'm not "suddenly" bisexual; I have been, for a long time, ever...

Where to meet a transexual/shemale

I would love to meet and have sex with a transexual/shemale, but have no idea how to go about it? Are there...

Posted by Fun4meandU

1 Reply | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Where to meet a transexual/shemale I would love to meet and have sex with a transexual/shemale, but have no idea how to go about it? Are there...

lesbian help

can someone please answer some questions for me?! i just need to talk to someone with hsv2 about dating.

Posted by wannabesafe

14 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:lesbian help can someone please answer some questions for me?! i just need to talk to someone with hsv2 about dating.

Happy New Year!

Best wishes for a Happy New Year! I thought you might enjoy this slideshow with the Top Ten...

Posted by Byroney_WebMD_Staff

0 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Happy New Year! Best wishes for a Happy New Year! I thought you might enjoy this slideshow with the Top Ten...

herpes

am dating a beautiful woman who is my rock and would do anything for me. we started dating in july and...

Posted by wannabesafe

1 Reply | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:herpes am dating a beautiful woman who is my rock and would do anything for me. we started dating in july and...

messing around with girls...

I've been with my boyfriend for over three years and I love him to death, but in the past I really enjoyed...

Posted by aquamia

4 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:messing around with girls... I've been with my boyfriend for over three years and I love him to death, but in the past I really enjoyed...

gay erectile dysfunction?

In the past few months i have ended a long term hetero relationship. I am gay thats not an issue. the problem...

Posted by xraymagic

2 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:gay erectile dysfunction? In the past few months i have ended a long term hetero relationship. I am gay thats not an issue. the problem...

WebMD Photo Sweepstakes!

Dear Members, Just in time for the holidays: In anticipation of our soon to launch new...

Posted by Caprice_WebMD_Staff

0 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:WebMD Photo Sweepstakes! Dear Members, Just in time for the holidays: In anticipation of our soon to launch new...

Seeing someone who's HIV+, I am not

Hi all, I have been lurking here on the boards and wanted to say Hello! and ask a question. I have...

Posted by arlingtonitguy

2 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Seeing someone who's HIV+, I am not Hi all, I have been lurking here on the boards and wanted to say Hello! and ask a question. I have...

Confused

My boyfriend and I had a discussion about trying something new we discussed a threesome for years one day he...

Posted by tettas

1 Reply | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Confused My boyfriend and I had a discussion about trying something new we discussed a threesome for years one day he...

Slim-Fast Recall

"All Slim Fast ready-to-drink canned products are being recalled because of possible...

Posted by Byroney_WebMD_Staff

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Meredith Baxter Comes Out

Meredith Baxter (Birney), who is best known for playing the mom on "Family Ties" with Michael J....

Posted by Byroney_WebMD_Staff

0 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Meredith Baxter Comes Out Meredith Baxter (Birney), who is best known for playing the mom on "Family Ties" with Michael J....

Decisions about failing marriage?

I have been married to my husband for 2 years and 2 months....We have been together for 8 years. We have 3...

Posted by C_R

I have been married to my husband for 2 years and 2 months....We have been together for 8 years. We have 3 children...one just turned 1 earlier this month. WE LIVE APART....but are not separated...Long story...I'll try to sum it up:

We rented a house...the landlord asked us to buy we said no...he started to bring people over and ask us to leave while he showed the property. We were already having problems as newlyweds....my husband stopped working..started drinking more..and even lost a job opportunity for a failed drug test. I didn't even know he was smoking weed! He would leave in the middle of the night while I was sleeping..either alone or with friends..but I wouldn't know until I woke to use the restroom or something. He would leave his phone so I couldn't fuss...or tell him to come home. He would arrive in time for me to leave for work at 4am.

I trusted my husband! I just thought it was disrespectful for him to just leave in the middle of the night and not even say I'm leaving...let alone tell me where he was going! I thought that he could find himself in more trouble than he had anticipated putting himself in situations married men shouldn't be in...with his "friend"...whose marraige has been failing and basically over since before I met my husband. I ASKED HIM TO STOP IT...please stop leaving in the middle of the night.? Days later it would happen again. One Saturday I woke..at 3 am..I don't know how long my husband had been gone....his phone was on the dresser...I got up...packed the kids and went to my parents. We have not PERMANENTLY lived together since. He left a couple of weeks later and went to his mom's so the owner could sale his house.

We reconciled...still lived apart..purchased a house that needed MUCH work! That December I was pregnant so I moved me and the children to his mom's 3 bedroom house. Our family shared a bedroom downstairs because the unoccupied bedroom did not recieve heat..and hadn't since before his mom bought the house 40 years ago! She wanted to turn our bedroom into a sitting room and suggested that we take our two small children and a new born and go sleep in the below freezing bedroom. (We live in Michigan). I told him that we couldn't do that and needed to find another place to stay until the house was done, even suggested a small apartment. He said all of our money should go towards fixing up the house we already owned. I left again..with my now 3 children and went to stay back with my parents...My husband still sleeps in the freezing room.

It has been a year since we lived together, out of 2 years of marriage. So we really only lived together maybe 8 months. My husband has become COMFORTABLE.....he spends alot of free time clubbing. In April he made a MISTAKE and left me a voicemail. I heard him saying that an ex-girlfriend had called him and told him she was sorry for "blocking". He went on to say, I know that Pocohantes lookin chick wanted to give me some PU_ _ Y ! Needless to say I was shocked overwhelmed...hurt.. etc. found out that he had been talking to and meeting an ex..phone records showed..ALL DAY AND ALL NIGHT, and she wasn't the only one! I don't know if he cheated...he AND SHE says THEY never did.. I forgave him he said it would never happen again. I ASKED THAT HE STAY AWAY FROM THE CLUBS.

We still live apart..a week ago my husband didn't log out of facebook during a visit to my house...he'd been sending a classmate emails. They weren't that bad....8 in total..very short: Hi.. how did you do on the test..I got an A..blah blah..THEN..I checked on another of his webpages. found random messages like DAMN YOU FINE, plus, emails to the same girl..."I don't like to talk on facebook. to PUBLIC...Your profile pic is cute..wink wink...and then exchanged phone numbers AND directions to a CLUB she works at.. THAT HE DID VISIT THAT NIGHT.. I contacted the girl...she says their just friends..BUT I THINK IT COULD HAVE LEAD TO MORE..View Thread

Posted byC_R

(FromGLBT Health & Life: Friends Talking)

1 Reply | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Decisions about failing marriage? I have been married to my husband for 2 years and 2 months....We have been together for 8 years. We have 3...

Blogs and Slideshows

Happy Thanksgiving to all who celebrate! If you have time to poke around and read things, here...

Posted by Byroney_WebMD_Staff

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Digest Work

Dear Members, Our engineering staff will be taking the Email Digests down at 2 p.m. ET today...

Posted by Byroney_WebMD_Staff

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