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Have you lost a loved one? A pet passed away or a lost a job? Grief binds all ... more

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Not sure how to feel about lossing my mom.

I lost my 83 yo mother recently and I don't know how I feel about it. I lost my father 2 years ago and I miss...

Posted by wallmom

3 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Not sure how to feel about lossing my mom. I lost my 83 yo mother recently and I don't know how I feel about it. I lost my father 2 years ago and I miss...

I lost my grandma on my birthday

Its been really hard the past couple of days. My grandma passed away on my birthday and its just hard to...

Posted by emmilou21

3 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:I lost my grandma on my birthday Its been really hard the past couple of days. My grandma passed away on my birthday and its just hard to...

This is so hard and ut hurts so bad

My beautiful daughter left this world Dec. 21,2010. today is the first time that I have been able to address...

Posted by djsgrannie

1 Reply | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:This is so hard and ut hurts so bad My beautiful daughter left this world Dec. 21,2010. today is the first time that I have been able to address...

Caprice

I saw my therapist on thursday and some startling realizations about my life and since then i have had to tell...

Posted by TDXSP08

4 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Caprice I saw my therapist on thursday and some startling realizations about my life and since then i have had to tell...

I Miss My Mom so much that I feel numb

It's been twenty-two months, since my mom passed away. I knew it would hurt, but I didn't realize it could hurt...

Posted by Cacynia

10 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:I Miss My Mom so much that I feel numb It's been twenty-two months, since my mom passed away. I knew it would hurt, but I didn't realize it could hurt...

if i could just have one more conversation with my...

my name is wanda and my best friend passed away on december 30, 2010. she passed at home under...

Posted by grievingdaughter2010

my name is wanda and my best friend passed away on december 30, 2010. she passed at home under hospice care, in which , for the last 2 weeks of her wonderful life, i took on the responsibility of taking care of her, along with my other brothers and sisters and my boyfriend. she would have been 81 yrs old on jan 19, that was the day we buried her. she had raised 8 children, married to my father for 47 yrs (who passed away in 1996-december 4th). she had 11 grand kids and 20 great grandkids. i moved in with my mother in 2000, along with my boyfriend, as we were homeless and struggling. she never turned her back on any of us and loved us all sooo deeply and unselfishly. when i moved in with her, she became my best friend, and i hers, we totally trusted each other and she knew that i would always be there for her. I spent 12 yrs. incarcerated and she never missed a visit and never was ashamed of me and my past. i took care of her wholeheartedly until the day she died. she suffered from COPD, and that december caught a cold that she couldnt shake. she wanted to come home to die and that is where she went. i sat with her through the transition from life to death, medicated her , held her hand, talked and sang to her. she was not afraid and ready to go, because she knew we would be okay. but i'm not!!! I MISS HER SO MUCH THAT IT HURTS DEEP IN MY SOUL!!! If i could have just one more conversation with her, or hear her voice one more time, i tell myself i will be okay then, but i know that is not true. i am now on antidepressents, valium and i am afraid of my thoughts most of the time. my family says it is hardest on me because i still live here in her house, and i will never leave it, i promised her that i would not let it go. but i am constantly in a fog.
thats all for now, would love to hear from someone.

thanks for listening ---Grievingdaughter2010View Thread

Posted by grievingdaughter2010

8 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:if i could just have one more conversation with my mom..... my name is wanda and my best friend passed away on december 30, 2010. she passed at home under...

when will I stop crying?

I lost my beautiful daughter 1 1/2 years ago, it was so sudden. I still cry every single day. Will it ever...

Posted by mymadaline

1 Reply | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:when will I stop crying? I lost my beautiful daughter 1 1/2 years ago, it was so sudden. I still cry every single day. Will it ever...

FMLA of 1993

I hope WebMd keeps this post. the 1993 Federal Medical Leave Act of 1993 does not provide for loss of a...

Posted by missingher

0 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:FMLA of 1993 I hope WebMd keeps this post. the 1993 Federal Medical Leave Act of 1993 does not provide for loss of a...

Need a little help.

I was divorced about a year a go and moved out of state with my son. I had to move in with my mom. My mom is very...

Posted by GVCW1

3 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Need a little help. I was divorced about a year a go and moved out of state with my son. I had to move in with my mom. My mom is very...

Loss of Mom

I lost my mom suddenly last April. Despite it being almost a year I am still not doing well. I can be fine one...

Posted by Zeva10

1 Reply | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Loss of Mom I lost my mom suddenly last April. Despite it being almost a year I am still not doing well. I can be fine one...

Specila Times

it been about 5 months now that my daughter has passed away now. I still think and wonder if i could have did...

Posted by missmbby

2 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Specila Times it been about 5 months now that my daughter has passed away now. I still think and wonder if i could have did...

deep sadness

It has been four year since my mother last called me, i was the last person to speak to her 11:45PM we talked...

Posted by TDXSP08

4 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:deep sadness It has been four year since my mother last called me, i was the last person to speak to her 11:45PM we talked...

My mom

Hi, I posted earlier about my mom, but I feel I put too much info in it and want to let it sink to the...

Posted by Sue1234567

Hi, I posted earlier about my mom, but I feel I put too much info in it and want to let it sink to the bottom rather than keep adding to that same post. Tomorrow will be 4 weeks since my mom died. I still really can't forgive myself for letting it happen, when I knew she should have been in a different hospital, and for convincing her the procedure was safe, and many other things, really. Not to mention how horrible I'd been to her at times...I'd gotten so angry at her when she wouldn't get out of bed for physical therapy, when I know now she was probably more ill than I'd thought. I even told her once that I wouldn't let her come home from the rehab place and be bedridden (which she was considering), and that if she did that I would move out. She barely reacted to that, but it had to have hurt her. This was because I (and others in my family) felt she was not pushing hard enough and didn't care enough to start walking and take care of herself as she had been a few months earlier. (For what it's worth, my dad says she always said she appreciated everything I did for her, but that almost makes me feel worse, because I feel like it was never really enough). I keep going over all the things I said, and all of the points at which different decisions could have been made about her care, and wishing I could go back to any one of them.
I'm not thinking about it all the time, but it seems like as soon as I forget, I see something or think of something that upsets me all over again. (My mom's figurines in the cabinet, her car in the driveway, I even just about lost it the other day when I was out with a friend and her mom called her). I haven't yet made it a whole day without crying. Today I finally finished taking down the tree, and that just set me off all over again. (When I put it up, I'd had hopes that she would get to see it...and definitely thought she would be home to see it next year. ) I am OK most of the time that I am with others, but when I'm alone it's another story, especially if I am not watching TV or doing something else that lets me stop thinking. Driving isn't good either, as it gives me too much time to think. I dread going to bed at night for the same reason. Sometimes I wonder if I'm going crazy. Being upset and not getting enough sleep is starting to get to me; I'm slightly anger-prone as it is, but I flipped out at my dentist's office the other day, and they are extremely nice there, it was very uncalled for.

Tomorrow I'm going out of town to see some relatives, they live in a warmer climate which will be nice for a change. I am hoping I can get through any conversations about my mom without having hysterics in front of anyone. Hopefully things will seem better when I return.View Thread

Posted by Sue1234567

7 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:My mom Hi, I posted earlier about my mom, but I feel I put too much info in it and want to let it sink to the...

Father in Law

when my father in law passed away in december it was hard.. we live in WI and he lived in OK (fiance...

Posted by addesMAMA

when my father in law passed away in december it was hard..
we live in WI and he lived in OK (fiance born & raised there)..i was actually notified via text msg, my cousin text said her condolences to us, i hadnt even known he passed, i called fiances mother, she didnt know anything about it (divorced when fiance was 2), 2 seconds later her phone was beeping in on another line, it was the hospital, yes Roy had passed on of a massive heart attack & seizure, she called us right back & said yes it was Roy, i instantly was at a loss of words, handed the phone to fiance & his mother tells him, he too is at a loss of words, we hung up with them and called his other siblings, they were just being told about their father via their eldest brother..its about 11pm now, I called my family & told them, they shared their condolences, now we have to start packin & getting things ready to leave town, I went into work & told my director first thing in the morning, were packed & ready to go by 3pm, the first snow of the winter is beginning, go to my mothers and say 'cya when we get back', fill up the tank & leave town, its snowing pretty good by now, all the way from Green Bay to Beloit we drove no faster than 45 because of road conditions, finally make it to OK, sleep for just a few hours before we need to get up & go to funeral home to make arrangements, everything went fine, meet up with all Roys family for the evening, enjoy the time spent with family and head to fiances childhood home to sleep!!
next few days went as expected..Funeral came & was a very nice one, time came to head back to WI..its been 2 months since our beloved Roy has passed & we miss him more and more everyday!! He was a very sweet, generous Man..fiance & I had Roys 1st granddaughter whom he adored so very much!! Im happy she got to meet him!! The first time she met him was March 13th & we buried him exactly 9 months later on December 13th! Roy would give anyone the shirt off his back although he hardly had the money to keep one on his own!!
..RIP ROY EDWARD SMITH..12.15.63-12.08.10..YOUR DEEPLY MISSED BY ALL!!View Thread

Posted by addesMAMA

1 Reply | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Father in Law when my father in law passed away in december it was hard.. we live in WI and he lived in OK (fiance...

Grieving my Dad

I turned 61 last week and it was the first birthday without my Dad. He died 9/7/10 and I just can't come...

Posted by CRITTERLOVER3

1 Reply | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Grieving my Dad I turned 61 last week and it was the first birthday without my Dad. He died 9/7/10 and I just can't come...

death of a parent

I lost my beloved father in 2004 and it is now almost 7 years. The loss is still so painful. Sometimes I see...

Posted by An_198065

1 Reply | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:death of a parent I lost my beloved father in 2004 and it is now almost 7 years. The loss is still so painful. Sometimes I see...

Lost

On Thanksgiving day my dad told us that the lump on his cheek that only had a 2% chance of being cancer...

Posted by lostyetstrong

1 Reply | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Lost On Thanksgiving day my dad told us that the lump on his cheek that only had a 2% chance of being cancer...

Lost your parents? How are you handling it?

I lost my last parent, in Oct. of 2009. It was just him and I since 3rd grade. If we were an ice cream, I...

Posted by An_198064

2 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Lost your parents? How are you handling it? I lost my last parent, in Oct. of 2009. It was just him and I since 3rd grade. If we were an ice cream, I...

My life is falling apart ...I can't take it anymor...

I lost my dad to lung cancer in dec . He and i were very close . I was his primary caregiver ( even though i...

Posted by An_198061

5 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:My life is falling apart ...I can't take it anymore !!!!!! I lost my dad to lung cancer in dec . He and i were very close . I was his primary caregiver ( even though i...

Loss of spouse

My sister just recently lost her husband to a sudden heart attack right in front of herself and children, he...

Posted by maxsmamma

17 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Loss of spouse My sister just recently lost her husband to a sudden heart attack right in front of herself and children, he...

my name is stacey

on nov 16,2010 i gave birth to a handsome baby boy. he was born with transposition of the great arteries,...

Posted by An_198060

1 Reply | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:my name is stacey on nov 16,2010 i gave birth to a handsome baby boy. he was born with transposition of the great arteries,...

My mom

Hi...I don't even know how to begin explaining what happened. My mom had been ill, but not so much so that...

Posted by Sue1234567

Hi...I don't even know how to begin explaining what happened.
My mom had been ill, but not so much so that we thought she would die, although I did realize she would probably not live to her mid-70s or 80s as her parents had. (She was only 63 herself). I thought she'd at least live long enough for her grandchildren (my nieces) to remember her. She had many health problems, mainly related to diabetes and heart disease. She'd been staying since June at a nursing-home type facility for short-term rehab, after a hospital stay left her unable to walk (she had had issues walking before, but she was still able to care for herself up until then). We always held out the hope that she would improve and be able to return home, but just before Christmas she ended up in the hospital one last time.

To make a long story short, it was eventually decided she would get a pacemaker/defribullator to help improve her heart function as she had congestive heart failure (which we knew she had before), though she had many heart blockages which they decided were inoperable (either because of too much damage, or too risky, not sure).

The weekend before last, she was in ICU but we were assured she was OK and wouldn't have the pacemaker until at least Tues. So that Mon.(1/10) around noon I saw I had a message from 9 am to call the hospital and speak to this doctor or another one; I called back and got the other. Doctor said that my mom was OK and they were still deciding which procedure to do, I then went about my day, intending to visit Mom later. On the way into the hospital around 5, I got a call from my sister who was already up in her room, telling me they took Mom for the pacemaker (had no idea). They had us wait in the cath lab waiting room for 1/2 hour or so, when they took us down the hall to an office to tell us she had passed away during the procedure. (literally just then, while we were waiting). We were in complete shock, as we'd both intended to spend the entire day of the procedure there with her. We never really believed that this procedure would kill her. After questioning everyone I could over the course of 2 days, to find out what happened, and why we weren't notified about the procedure, I found out that the first doctor had called me at 9 am at my mom's request so that we would know. (Never did anyone say she was scheduled for that day, and incidentally they failed to call my sister who I had made sure was also listed as a contact just the day before). Which means that she was laying there waiting from 9-3 or so, wondering why her daughters didn't care enough to be there with her.

I feel like I am never going to be able to live with myself over this. So many things could have been done differently over the last few months, and I feel the need to question each and every one of them. I was visiting my mom almost every day, and while she was capable of making her own decisions, I was helping her and perhaps sometimes influenced her decisions in the process. So I feel responsible in a way for what happened. And the fact that we weren't there to comfort her when I know she was so anxious about it will always haunt me. I almost feel like I need forgiveness from someone, I tell her I"m sorry every day, but it's not enough.

(continued below because am running out of space...)View Thread

Posted by Sue1234567

6 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:My mom Hi...I don't even know how to begin explaining what happened. My mom had been ill, but not so much so that...

What are the effects of losing a parent at age 18?

My mom had cancer for 2 years and just recently passed away after the tumors spread to he brain and she...

Posted by An_198059

1 Reply | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:What are the effects of losing a parent at age 18? My mom had cancer for 2 years and just recently passed away after the tumors spread to he brain and she...

Where is my deceased partner?

My partner of 27 years passed away in my arms a year ago and I've only had one dream of him, very short...

Posted by badaughter

3 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Where is my deceased partner? My partner of 27 years passed away in my arms a year ago and I've only had one dream of him, very short...

grieving after 8 months I am new here

I feel so bad for all of you here . I thought I would be a bit better by now but NO Losing my husband has...

Posted by dianrib

2 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:grieving after 8 months I am new here I feel so bad for all of you here . I thought I would be a bit better by now but NO Losing my husband has...

Do I have ptdd

On Dec 12, 2008 I was engaged to be married in May 2009. When I woke up this morning I found my fiancee...

Posted by papajack154

5 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Do I have ptdd On Dec 12, 2008 I was engaged to be married in May 2009. When I woke up this morning I found my fiancee...

Suicide of Dad

My dad killed himself the day after Thanksgiving. He had a history of depression and was released from the...

Posted by AmyJ71

1 Reply | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Suicide of Dad My dad killed himself the day after Thanksgiving. He had a history of depression and was released from the...

Loss of a Parent and Best Friend

It has been a little over two years now since my Dad passed away. We were so close to one another. He was my...

Posted by An_198058

1 Reply | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Loss of a Parent and Best Friend It has been a little over two years now since my Dad passed away. We were so close to one another. He was my...

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