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Her passing was a shock, and I think that makes it harder. But I just can't get passed the feeling of relief. And it bothers me that I feel it so. I never wanted anything to happen to her, but now that she is gone I feel like I have been set free.
Thank you for listening. I know that everyone goes through this differently, and maybe it is just too fresh. But I just feel numb.
View Thread
Maria was 50 years old and plaqued with a myriad of ailments, she's had at least three heart attcks, COPD, High blood pressure and diabetes. She was a smoker since her teens. she cut down a lot but was never able to stop. even though her health was poor she worked part time and went to school at night. she sressed about everything all of the time and I believe she knew something that she didn't share with us about her health. As we look back we see her getting rid of her belongings, selling her furniture and preparing for what? we don't know. For her 50th birthday she took a beautiful professional portrait and before then she would run from a camera. The night before she passed, she went to dinner wih her best friends where i am told she had no signs of illness , pain etc. They all had a wonderful time. She and talked on the phone for two hours two days before shs passed away . Just fun, silly mother /daughter things. she said that she wasn't "feeling" christmas and was not putting up her tree. On 12/21 she sat on the side of her bed watching the news. Her daughter kissed her goodbye and left for work. when she returned her mom was still sitting there, slumped over, dead. Paramedics said she seemed to have died at least ten hours before. what happened, we don't know. So many unanswered questions. I don.t question God's will. but it hurts me so bad. Now all I think about is when and how I am going to die. It is scary!!View Thread
PeaceView Thread
thats all for now, would love to hear from someone.
thanks for listening ---Grievingdaughter2010View Thread
here is the link:
http://www.petition2congress.com/3937/modify-family-medical-leave-act-1993/View Thread
PeaceView Thread
I'm not thinking about it all the time, but it seems like as soon as I forget, I see something or think of something that upsets me all over again. (My mom's figurines in the cabinet, her car in the driveway, I even just about lost it the other day when I was out with a friend and her mom called her). I haven't yet made it a whole day without crying. Today I finally finished taking down the tree, and that just set me off all over again. (When I put it up, I'd had hopes that she would get to see it...and definitely thought she would be home to see it next year. ) I am OK most of the time that I am with others, but when I'm alone it's another story, especially if I am not watching TV or doing something else that lets me stop thinking. Driving isn't good either, as it gives me too much time to think. I dread going to bed at night for the same reason. Sometimes I wonder if I'm going crazy. Being upset and not getting enough sleep is starting to get to me; I'm slightly anger-prone as it is, but I flipped out at my dentist's office the other day, and they are extremely nice there, it was very uncalled for.
Tomorrow I'm going out of town to see some relatives, they live in a warmer climate which will be nice for a change. I am hoping I can get through any conversations about my mom without having hysterics in front of anyone. Hopefully things will seem better when I return.View Thread
we live in WI and he lived in OK (fiance born & raised there)..i was actually notified via text msg, my cousin text said her condolences to us, i hadnt even known he passed, i called fiances mother, she didnt know anything about it (divorced when fiance was 2), 2 seconds later her phone was beeping in on another line, it was the hospital, yes Roy had passed on of a massive heart attack & seizure, she called us right back & said yes it was Roy, i instantly was at a loss of words, handed the phone to fiance & his mother tells him, he too is at a loss of words, we hung up with them and called his other siblings, they were just being told about their father via their eldest brother..its about 11pm now, I called my family & told them, they shared their condolences, now we have to start packin & getting things ready to leave town, I went into work & told my director first thing in the morning, were packed & ready to go by 3pm, the first snow of the winter is beginning, go to my mothers and say 'cya when we get back', fill up the tank & leave town, its snowing pretty good by now, all the way from Green Bay to Beloit we drove no faster than 45 because of road conditions, finally make it to OK, sleep for just a few hours before we need to get up & go to funeral home to make arrangements, everything went fine, meet up with all Roys family for the evening, enjoy the time spent with family and head to fiances childhood home to sleep!!
next few days went as expected..Funeral came & was a very nice one, time came to head back to WI..its been 2 months since our beloved Roy has passed & we miss him more and more everyday!! He was a very sweet, generous Man..fiance & I had Roys 1st granddaughter whom he adored so very much!! Im happy she got to meet him!! The first time she met him was March 13th & we buried him exactly 9 months later on December 13th! Roy would give anyone the shirt off his back although he hardly had the money to keep one on his own!!
..RIP ROY EDWARD SMITH..12.15.63-12.08.10..YOUR DEEPLY MISSED BY ALL!!View Thread
I used to post on the MS support group but I couldn't keep up anymore. 6 days before my Dad died I had major surgery, so attending the funeral was very difficult.
Today is the 3rd day I haven't left the house. I have been just sitting and crying. My family is not the kind to discuss anything. So my grief is my own. Thank you for letting me vent. ArleneView Thread
Does this show that I have still not fully accepted my father's death and that I have not yet ended the grieving cycle- even after 7 years? Is that "normal"?View Thread
I would love to know how others get through it all...View Thread
My mom had been ill, but not so much so that we thought she would die, although I did realize she would probably not live to her mid-70s or 80s as her parents had. (She was only 63 herself). I thought she'd at least live long enough for her grandchildren (my nieces) to remember her. She had many health problems, mainly related to diabetes and heart disease. She'd been staying since June at a nursing-home type facility for short-term rehab, after a hospital stay left her unable to walk (she had had issues walking before, but she was still able to care for herself up until then). We always held out the hope that she would improve and be able to return home, but just before Christmas she ended up in the hospital one last time.
To make a long story short, it was eventually decided she would get a pacemaker/defribullator to help improve her heart function as she had congestive heart failure (which we knew she had before), though she had many heart blockages which they decided were inoperable (either because of too much damage, or too risky, not sure).
The weekend before last, she was in ICU but we were assured she was OK and wouldn't have the pacemaker until at least Tues. So that Mon.(1/10) around noon I saw I had a message from 9 am to call the hospital and speak to this doctor or another one; I called back and got the other. Doctor said that my mom was OK and they were still deciding which procedure to do, I then went about my day, intending to visit Mom later. On the way into the hospital around 5, I got a call from my sister who was already up in her room, telling me they took Mom for the pacemaker (had no idea). They had us wait in the cath lab waiting room for 1/2 hour or so, when they took us down the hall to an office to tell us she had passed away during the procedure. (literally just then, while we were waiting). We were in complete shock, as we'd both intended to spend the entire day of the procedure there with her. We never really believed that this procedure would kill her. After questioning everyone I could over the course of 2 days, to find out what happened, and why we weren't notified about the procedure, I found out that the first doctor had called me at 9 am at my mom's request so that we would know. (Never did anyone say she was scheduled for that day, and incidentally they failed to call my sister who I had made sure was also listed as a contact just the day before). Which means that she was laying there waiting from 9-3 or so, wondering why her daughters didn't care enough to be there with her.
I feel like I am never going to be able to live with myself over this. So many things could have been done differently over the last few months, and I feel the need to question each and every one of them. I was visiting my mom almost every day, and while she was capable of making her own decisions, I was helping her and perhaps sometimes influenced her decisions in the process. So I feel responsible in a way for what happened. And the fact that we weren't there to comfort her when I know she was so anxious about it will always haunt me. I almost feel like I need forgiveness from someone, I tell her I"m sorry every day, but it's not enough.
(continued below because am running out of space...)View Thread
I thought I would be a bit better by now but NO
Losing my husband has hit me so Hard
He was my everything as I was his.
Lung cancer killed him like his dad
smoked many yrs
Bless all of you who are in pain
.View Thread
What questions would you ask his psychiatrist?
Does the psychiatrist have an obligation to talk to us?View Thread
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