Ladybird, first i'm sorry for your loss....I know how you are feeling....if you read my story , you will see that I lost my husband 11/29/09 so the first holidays ( 12/25/09) right after are a blurr....but the sadness really kicked in the last almost 2 years.....there is no more "we"...and it's hard to get use to...I am still dealing with it as you can see from my replies....I try to spend as much time with my family around the holidays because i don't want my mind to wonder into alot of sadness and it's definately not what our love ones would want.....alot of things are easier said than done....but i think we have to soak up the personality and goodness that our love ones were made of and it will pull us through it....please stay in touch here because this site is really comforting when needed.....I pray your heart can heal..View Thread
the baby will need surgery at some point...the nerves of her spinal cord are thethered...but she is so active and even crawling for 5 months...she is beautiful...the surgeon said it would be hours upon hours to do the surgery but he said they are in a catch 22 either way....Thank you for your thoughts.... I took my 3 dogs for a walk ..they were so excited, i can't blame them it has been almost 2 years for them to go walking with me....they are fortunate because they go in and out all the time...i live in the country and they have free rome..but they love me to walk with them....as i walked i cried because it was something Rich and i always did together....i don't want to take up alot of your time so i will tell you the other half when i reply again........but don't worry i'm doing ok ....View Thread
The baby didn't make out well, it is just heart breaking.....I have started to look for another job, so that gives me something to focus on......yep i know it was a setback and i'm pushing forward and hope it is not going to happen again for a long while.....took my screens out of my windows and doing some cleaning...i think thats a start.......i remebered how i use to sing all the time and i haven't done that in 2 years, not sure if that feeling will ever come back.....hope you have a good day.....View Thread
had very bad time....today is tuesday, it started thursday i was soo overwhelmed between work and grief i didn't know what to do, i was a mess, but i called the grief counselor and she sat with me for an hour and all i did was cry....but she did help me.....my work wasn't happy with me because i called off thursday and friday...not alot of support there, soo i walked away from it, i gave my resignation monday morning ....i don't know what happened everything seemed to be going a baby step forward....now i'm back looking for a job and not feeling too good about myself....i am looking forward to group but it only meets twice a month...but i have to keep working on my promise....i have to get past the loneliness and sadness and find something positive to hold on to.....Thanks for holding onto me because i almost fell out of this ride a time or two....View Thread
I didn't have a good weekend.....my husband is so heavy on my mind...He is all I think about...it may be more intense because my birthday is tomorrow(10/05).....well I have taken baby steps but grief knocks you back with giant steps...not good timing for a birthday my baby niece is having the MRI tomorrow, I pray it turns out good, that would be the greatest birthday present I could get....I had trouble with trying to put pic on but i'll keep working on it.....there are so many things to tell you, so i'll do it each time I reply....I just want to get through tomorrow.......View Thread
The visit with my son is always great....the drive not so good.....on the way down i just felt numb, really didn't have any thoughts....just felt lonely.....on my way home i talked to my husband alot and felt really lost without him...i am sad every time i get in the car to come home from work, because i have no excitement like everyone waiting to get home to be with their families...i don't have that anymore.....hope you were able to enjoy your weekend....i'm going to try to put recent pic up this weekend but i always have trouble trying to get the right size....still praying my heart will heal......View Thread
Caprice,...I am sorry you are not having a good day...wish we had a cafe where we could have coffee/tea and talk about how complicated grief is and maybe smile about happier things....I am driving to my son's early tomorrow morning and comming back sunday....I haven't made the drive down to see him in a long time...he always comes here....I hope the 4 hours aren't as hard as they have been......I remember looking forward to friday nights,. now they just come and go.....But I am keeping my promise the best I can, and I think thats a good thing...I will let you know how my weekend went......I really hope you can enjoy your weekend....View Thread
I did discuss this with him and he knows how stubborn I am when it comes to medication.....He thinks i'm keeping too much stress inside seeing i went from having the shingles to an acute sinus infection.and my blood pressure ranging 180/100-194/108...all within 2 weeks..(.my immune system isn't what it use to be i had cancer in 1990 with 5 months of daily radiation and etc) I knew i should not have cried when i talked with him at my appointment, i was just overwhelmed....I'm just so fatigued now, since my pressure has came down...i'm just doing the best i can and i guess i'm just having a down day......View Thread
Caprice....Dr. called and wants me on antideppressant??????? I just started taking my blood pressure med and it has brought down my pressure....why does everyone think I need an antideppressant, when I am doing everything right...just because I have sadness in my life doesn't mean I need medication to deal with it...I am not out of control ..I go to work, I pay my bills, I take care of my home, I take care of my dogs and have started counseling...and most of all I am doing all I can to keep my promise to my husband....why can't everyone understand that.......View Thread
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