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the year 2009 was an extremely bad year for me and my son. my brother passed away suddenly in march, followed by my other brother in october and then my husband in november....just 10 days before our 37th wedding anniversary....i was very close to my brothers, we seen each other every day...i don't feel like i had time to grieve before my whole world was shattered with my husband passing so unexpectedly...we had a wonderful life together...we shared everything, we were best friends....i don't know how i get up and go through the motions each day..i am thankful for the 4 dogs we have...2 we rescued (they are 5 yrs.) and the other 2 we had as puppies(they are 8 & 9 yrs.). they are such good companions. they follow me every where..when i cry they are there...they keep the house from being empty...i am having a hard time trying to live around the heart break....i go to the cemetery and can't believe that it's real...i love him so very much and miss him so deeply....they say it takes time...but how can you comprehend time when days and nights all feel the same...he always told me he wanted me to continue to be happy if anything ever happened to him...easier said then done, i have guilt because i can't do that for him because he was my happiness...i show my son that i'm ok....by living on the outside while i'm dying on the inside....Caprice once told me that grief is a roller coaster of emotions....i guess i'm just waiting to get off..........