where could i even start I am 27 years old mother of 6 only 4 of which are still living and am recently widowed. 5 years ago christmas eve my oldest daughter was hit and killed by a truck of which i witnessed and gave cpr till ambulance arrived. Shortly there after I moved to juarez mexico with my husband our family grew and last year we lost our 1 month 7day old baby to SIDS. In August of this year after my now eldest living sons 6 birthday my husband was pulled from our car and brutally gunned down more than 80 times with ak47. me and the children watching in fear and anticipating the bullets in our direction. Now i am alone with 4 very small kids working nights to make ends meet and coming to the conclussion that i cant take it any more. I miss them all so and wish there were a way to be with them or see them feel them or hear them again. stupid thought i know. i am know realizing the only thing that kept me san losing my daughters was my husbands support and know with him gone my world has really crumbled. i feel the urge to be felt loved again but yet the thought of trying to move on seems out of the question like i would be cheating. my husband was very jealous and loved his kids so much i know he wouldn't want them to have someone else as a father. but my 2 yr old wants her daddy my son needs him. and my baby who was only 6wks at the time wont even remember him. Instead of the days going by and it getting easier its getting harder.View Thread
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