I have lost my 18 yr old son 30 days ago. We do not know if it was an accident or suicide.The investigation has not been closed but the death certificate states suicide. There were no flags of depression, he had dailey and long term plans for the future. He had many friends and a good relationship with his entire family. I cannot cope . I was able to have the strength to get through the funeral with my husband and 2 older sons,but now I seem to begetting much worse. I cannot leave the house just to get milk from the store by myself without having a full blown anxiety attack. I have no energy. I can function for maybe 3 to 4 hours then I feel as though my body and mind shut down and I can barely stay awake. I do deal with clinical depression and am already on medication. I am terrified I will sink into that horrible hole and this time I will not be able to climb out. I hate this. My husband and sons and parents (who Live with us) need me and I feel cannot be there. I tried to return to work and that went ok because I have wonderful people who care about me there, but now I cannot seem to leave the house. I just want to curl up in bed and disappear. I am afraid that even counseling will not help as I am already under a DR.s care for depression from before this. I cannot seem to function. I am letting a lot of people I love down. I call for counseling appointments but am told I have to wait for a week or two. I don't know what to do.I really hate being a burden to others . I just feel lost and want to do nothing but sleep.View Thread
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