On December 7, 2000 I lost my best friend to suicide. She was 34 years old and one of the most beautiful, kind hearted, free spirited people I have ever met. I was living with her and her parents at the time and I was the last one to speak directly with her. I told her when I went to bed at 1030 that if she needed to talk to please come wake me up. By midnight she had overdosed on her psych meds.
It's been 10 1/2 years but the pain and heartache and guilt just don't seem to be getting any better. I understand why she did it because I am bipolar as well...but it doesn't make it any easier to accept. She is the only one in my whole life that seemed to truly understand me and accept me exactly the way I am. I have never found a friendship like that again. Is it normal to still be grieving after so many years? Everyone tells me that I should just get over it already...none of them have lost any loved ones to suicide and I just wish the pain and sadness would go away...does anyone have any suggestions? Has anyone lost someone to suicide? I miss her so much...View Thread
Thank you for your reassurance and validation of my feelings regarding the comments of others. I have talked about this in therapy but the therapists I've seen always want to focus on my other "issues". Now I'm without health insurance and without a job so it makes it difficult to get the therapy I need.
I am hoping that others will post with their experiences and advice as well. I will definitely be checking back in as often as I can. I think my main issue with her suicide is the fact that the last words I said to her before going to bed were to tell her that if she needed to talk to PLEASE just come wake me up...I was 2 bedrooms away. I have always felt like if I had just stayed up with her that night that she might still be here...it's hard to deal with that sometimes.
Again, thank you so much for responding to my post...I really appreciate it.View Thread
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