Loss my husband to cancer, 4yrs ago.. I have never grieved for him, I can't even remember them removing him from our home. I cared for him the last 9 months before he passed. We had been thru 2 heart attacks, hip replaced 3 times, lung removed due to cancer, told he would be OK, he died 11 months later... I have not been able to "move". He was my sole mate, I cared for him thru those last 9 mths at home... I miss hime so much, I think of him all the time, I still live in the home he grew up in. We where together for 18 yrs. My life fells like it has fall apart. For along time I didn't want to go on, but the thought of my grandchildren has kept me going. I have my own medical problems, but lately I can't remember even the smallest things from my past.. I don't remember his wake, the funeral, him being taken from home after passing. I just want to be happy again......... Why can't I get pass this?????? Until I started writing this down, I haven' t even cried, but this has brought the loss back... Is there a reason I can't let go? I am very good at not letting anyone into my life/world. I can smile on the outside... But I am short tempered, can't remember things from past (childhood), last 4 years, last year, last month, last week.... Does anyone else have this kind of life or had. I don't talk about my loss with anyone because I am afraid to talk about this, (most family and friends seem to just move on) WHY CAN'T I, I LOVE AND MISS HIM SO MUCH....View Thread