hi,i'm jessica and this past december,my most beloved friend,and equally loved member of our family passed away in my arms at home.But because of prejudice and because we both are different from average society(she-a mini poodle and i am low income with mental health issue's)the months we fought for help to save her life,at her death and time since has been full of emotional abuse from every direction.My pain,belittled and people cruely trying to force me to think she was nothing but an object.not the emotional being that she is.she knew me better than i knew myself.we communicated just fine-but not with a word or sound.a whole other language that im still not fluent in but know enough to get by.for some reason that appears to either insult humans or install some sort of fear-i don't really understand.but i do know-without any doubt,the countless wrongs done to us,all the hurtfull words and actions from sources they NEVER should have came from has caused an anger,hatred so deeply rooted it will never fade with any amount of time.i have NO forgiveness to give,thus i no longer recognize any extended family,no friends,just my husband,my daughter and me-alone.the damage done to me,is severe and can never be undone.very unfortunately and saddens me deeply but,it is what it is and always will be.not my fault-but their faults and so now they just have to face that i no longer want any of them in my life-includes my own parents.i hate what my daughter saw what she experienced and the negative lessons she took from it all,things we never taught and tried to hide her from but not well enough it seems.scared,confused and alone-crying for help that still has yet to come but i stopped calling out a few months ago.trying to just swallow the fact that it never will come for us.it's horrible to do but i have no options.View Thread
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