I'm so sorry that your health continues to be a challenge for you.
What you do is continue to look after yourself and consider therapy. Therapy can't fix the health issues, but can help you cope with the huge emotional fallout involved.
And gather as much support around you as possible. Pace yourself when going out and keep someone with you at all times, and take it little by little.
I know this is all easier said than done. I've had to really learn how to pace myself as well and change how I interact with others (and shop). I take what's good and let go of the rest.
I also encourage you to focus on your priorities. Perhaps that tedious chore isn't worth your time and energy when you have so little to spare, but a visit with an understanding friend may be.View Thread
It's now a few days later and I hope you're not still down in the depths of it. (((hugs)))
Remind yourself that you had half a day of feeling better. That half day can be repeated and built on. Hold on to that hope and keep moving forward, one day at a time.
When you are down in the depths, be very careful about assuming that it will always be like that. You really don't know what the future may bring for you, how you will be feeling next month or next year.
Remind yourself of the good things in your life. They are there (eg. your son), a good weather day, a commercial that gave you a moment of laughter, anything, no matter how small. If you've not done so yet, I really encourage you to keep a daily gratitude journal. That exercise alone, if done regularly, can help you move away from the darkness. Even if the idea makes you angry or you think it's stupid, do it anyway each day for a month (jot down at least three good things). You have nothing to lose and perhaps a lot to gain. View Thread
I know what you mean, I really do. I felt I lost me along with my love, lost who I used to be, the things that interested me, etc.
Keep looking for work and I hope you find a good fit. Keep looking for new things to interest you. I stopped being able to listen to the music I used to love and found new music instead. That's just an example. I began creating small goals/dreams for myself that were completely different than the dreams I used to have. I just wasn't that same person anymore.
And always be careful about isolating yourself from others. It's easy to fall into that. (((hugs)))
I hope the trip to the cemetary provided some healing and not yet more pain.
I am not an expert so just consider me someone who has grieved and who has been reading on this community for many years. These are my own thoughts:
Everyone grieves differently and at their own pace. It sounds like those around you haven't forgotten your grief but are trying to respect how you are handling it. You're probably right in that your husband doesn't know what to say but does he need to actually say anything? There's nothing he could say which would help you feel better, but he is listening and that's pretty big.
And others may not be bringing it up for the same reason you're not talking about it to your mother or step-mom.
There is no right or wrong or 'normal' way to grieve and this loss is still fairly new and holidays themselves can make that harder.
But it also sounds like this is getting in the way of your relationships with others and your life (eg. the anxiety) so perhaps some one on one counseling would help you. Having someone really hear you and perhaps offer some guidance could help.
What a lovely way to spend your Thanksgiving, Smiles. You've inspired me. I'm going to be alone much of the time through Christmas and New Year's and am also taking steps to turn it around like that. View Thread
I don't think there is any real 'normal' when it comes to grieving... every loss is different and who we are when we lose people at different times in our lives is different. I don't think it's unusual that it takes a while to sink in.
I'm very sorry for your loss. I remember you talking about him often. He clearly touched many lives, including yours.
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No, Peggy doesn't post here anymore and she is missed.View Thread
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