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Grumpy Groupies

This is a group for all my buddies. If your in a sad mood or happy mood, pls ... more

Announcements

Welcome to Grumpy Groupies!!! This group is open to every one. I hope that all my buddies will join and use it often. Sad or happy, NO discussion is taboo. I do ask that you use Trigger in the title when necessary. Hopefully we can have fun and also support those who are having a hard time. Muahs

Discussions

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poss TRIGGER - not suicidal, just saying thank you...

I am, literally, on the largest font on my computer to see. Even then I am straining, the words are blurring...

Posted by melly2210

2 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:poss TRIGGER - not suicidal, just saying thank you w/sad undertones I am, literally, on the largest font on my computer to see. Even then I am straining, the words are blurring...

Trying To Find A Simple Photo

My surgery is next week and they are going to laser vaporization of my hymenal caruncle tabs, uuuuuhhhhh WTF?...

When all else fails, go Bipolar all over their azzes!!

Posted by bpcookie

4 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Trying To Find A Simple Photo My surgery is next week and they are going to laser vaporization of my hymenal caruncle tabs, uuuuuhhhhh WTF?...

Liars never prosper

For the last few months I have been looking at on-line animal rescue sites, to find a little girl dog so that...

When all else fails, go Bipolar all over their azzes!!

Posted by bpcookie

5 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Liars never prosper For the last few months I have been looking at on-line animal rescue sites, to find a little girl dog so that...

Mercy is still alive and kicking - Part two

In my opinion, based on my experience, I think Topomax should be considered an illegal drug. I have never...

Posted by mercygive

In my opinion, based on my experience, I think Topomax should be considered an illegal drug. I have never tried heroin, but I think about how drug addicts shoot heroin into their veins and then slowly melt down into unconsciousness. Well, that was my reaction to this medication. I am so glad to be off the Topomax that I don't complain about the Seroquel. I do well to keep fish and vegetables in my refrigerator, but I need more will power and energy to exercise daily. I will get off of my Topomax soap box now.
I see a psychotherapist now. He reminds me of Marcus Welby MD when he smiles. He practices EMDR other types of therapy and, for now, he is hesitant to treat me with EMDR because it may trigger another episode. I told my therapist about an incident that happened when I started to post on this board. I need a professional to help me to fully understand and come to grips with what had happened, but he only wants to discuss my life in generalities, and he insisted that I sign a waiver so that he could communicate with my husband and all of my doctors. The only person I haven't told is my psychiatrist (PA) who has admitting privileges. I kind of get the impression that my therapist has already passed that information to my PA on my behalf. I am deeply sorrowed and get easily depressed when I think about the incident and the damage it would have caused, and when I try to forget I remember to take my medications faithfully.

The warm weather is inviting me out to shopping centers and I get overstimulated and talk to myself in public while I overspend. My therapist told me that wearing an ear piece in public is the only difference between me and the people who were once patients now released, from the closed mental health hospitals in CA, who walk up and down the streets talking to themselves without medication. I must wear an ear piece while I am in public. I increased my Seroquel to 400 mg so I hope that will help some.

Other than that, we are doing some home repairs. I love all of the rain we are having here in Dallas and the foliage in our back yard is overgrown and will take a lot of back work to chop it down and haul it away. Speaking of which, I am having back pain again and need to have cortisone shots. With the humidity, the mosquitos are out in swarms and I think there have already been a few cases of West Nile Virus.

I will leave you now. I am flat, boring and not too exciting to be around these days. I will try to post my sunny side up next time. XXXXXXXXXXOOOOOOOOO to Y'ALL.
View Thread

Posted by mercygive

6 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Mercy is still alive and kicking - Part two In my opinion, based on my experience, I think Topomax should be considered an illegal drug. I have never...

Mercy is still alive and kicking - Part one

Hello friends, I have received emails from two misfits here (you know who you are) and you have no idea how...

Posted by mercygive

Hello friends,
I have received emails from two misfits here (you know who you are) and you have no idea how good it was to hear from my friends. I will poke my head in to say hello while I still feel good. It took me a while to remember my password. I miss you all very much. I would like to offer support here, but my mind is lagging and it's easy for me to drop my thoughts in mid-sentence with the exception of today. I sneak a peek here sometimes and I am so sorry that some of you are going through very difficult times. But you know, I also see how everyone continues to be supportive of each other and it reminds me of how you have always been open and friendly to me. I remember that some of you are interested readers. I will warn you this post is long-winded, but I haven't posted for several months and you have asked how I have been doing and what I have been up to.

My eyes are glassed over as usual and I look tire and old. During the last several months, I have been depressed on and off with hypomania that doesn't last long. I have managed the normal periods for up to two months. I got very angry and irritable and at one point became severely depressed. It didn't last long but it felt like an eternity. I have pinpointed most of my triggers and I am trying to hone my skills to handle the triggers when they insist on coming.

Last month, I became depressed again while taking Topomax to lose weight; depression is a side effect. At the lowest dosage, this drug robbed me of my self-awareness, my handwriting and the ability to think and talk without slurring my words. I continued to take it because I had to give the medication a chance to work and I wanted to lose weight so badly. However, before I could lose any weight, I had to get off of it because it gave me numbing head rushes and nausea, and it caused me to have headaches. I would have passed out on the floor one day had I not found a chair. This drug also caused me problems at work. My boss and I are now trying to correct the fall-out from all my mistakes. I found company checks misplaced underneath the trays in my office drawers, in my large tote bag and in my car's glove compartment. All of the misplaced checks were, eventually, found and mailed. I almost forgot to pay a client's mortgage. I was able to hide some things.

Two weeks ago, someone I have worked with for 10 years, whom I have always thought of as a good friend, came out of nowhere and asked me if I was taking Depakote. I barely answered a slurred "no" and then I asked him if he was taking Depakote and he answered "God no!" which told me that someone guessed that I have bipolar disorder and I must be taking a mood stabilizer that, apparently, makes all of us act loopy. I have never told anyone at work that I have bipolar disorder, but his response suggested that if he had a mental illness he would hide it if he could. I should have told him it wasn't any of his business and I should have answered "God no!" I wasn't able to think quickly. Good thing is other associates are very nice to me and giving me friendly and caring smiles that I am not used to and I hesitate to return their smiles. I am still determined not to tell anyone.
View Thread

Posted by mercygive

0 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Mercy is still alive and kicking - Part one Hello friends, I have received emails from two misfits here (you know who you are) and you have no idea how...

How Far Can You Go With A Photo

Ok, I try my best not to make fun of things that ppl have said but sometimes I can't help myself and LMAO. ...

When all else fails, go Bipolar all over their azzes!!

Posted by bpcookie

1 Reply | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:How Far Can You Go With A Photo Ok, I try my best not to make fun of things that ppl have said but sometimes I can't help myself and LMAO. ...

Fiber makes me sad

Seriously it does nothing for me. I know others swear by it, for everything from cholesterol, to regularity....

Posted by Anon_41638

2 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Fiber makes me sad Seriously it does nothing for me. I know others swear by it, for everything from cholesterol, to regularity....

Movie Watch "42"

For anyone looking for a worthwhile distraction, "42" Jackie Robinson Story, is a film not to miss and is in...

There are times you don't mean to say what you mean to say you mean.

Posted by ibex7

6 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Movie Watch "42" For anyone looking for a worthwhile distraction, "42" Jackie Robinson Story, is a film not to miss and is in...

Just needing to dump some things....

For those of you not in the know, in Feb I had an "inncident" where I had a very abrupt change in vision and...

Posted by melly2210

For those of you not in the know, in Feb I had an "inncident" where I had a very abrupt change in vision and total loss of equilibrium. My vision was like having crossed your eyes and the residual pain that comes if you do it too long. The left eye has improved, but the right eye? Nope. So I walk around everyday with the right eye closed and the left one open. It means injuries from bumping into things. Has caused me to fall lots of times.

ER doc, hospital neuro, primary care and gen practitioner in the hospital and follow up with pc all said it is conversion disorder which is basically a form of dissociation excepts it manifests in physical form. I was discharged with my right eye exactly as it is now. Pdoc says it is NOT conversion disorder. Had to fight with pc to get referrals to neuro and opthamologist. Op says nothing wrong with eye but the nerves aren't communicating with the brain properly. Apparently my eye isn't tracking properly thus the distorted vision. He deferred to neuro. Neuro put me through MRA, MRV. All inconclusive. Blood work indicates 2 markers out of 13 for lyme disease but I've never been bitten by a tick in my life.

So on the 17th I am having a spinal tap done followed by an infectious disease doc and I have to see a neuro-opthamologist. Still no freaking answers and just test after test after test. It's been nearly 3 months like this. For a long while I was motivated to find answers. Then I hit a period of apathy. I just didn't care. And now? The depression is setting in. I can feel other things declining.. I'm scared and I wish they would just figure it out. Or at least tell me this is as good as it gets so I can prepare everyone and stop putting a happy face on and pretending it's all like a sprained finger or something. It's not. I'm tired of being half blind, of not being able to go from light to dark of having my computer turned up to 5x the size font I normally use. Tired of almost hitting my husband and kids when they approach me on my blind side.

I want to not feel horrible all of the time and tired of trying to remain positive. I can't do it anymore.View Thread

Posted by melly2210

4 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Just needing to dump some things.... For those of you not in the know, in Feb I had an "inncident" where I had a very abrupt change in vision and...

Confessions Of A Bipolar/ All Confessions Welcomed

Hi my name is Cookie and I am a butt dialer. I am a tomato squeezer I am a dog blaming gas passer

When all else fails, go Bipolar all over their azzes!!

Posted by bpcookie

5 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Confessions Of A Bipolar/ All Confessions Welcomed Hi my name is Cookie and I am a butt dialer. I am a tomato squeezer I am a dog blaming gas passer

Okay, so what's some of the strangest/ most loving...

1) I just put new sheets on the bed. Want to dirty them with me??? (= 2) Strip, NOW. 3) No, it's your turn...

Posted by jselleck

5 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Okay, so what's some of the strangest/ most loving things you've said to your significant other??? 1) I just put new sheets on the bed. Want to dirty them with me??? (= 2) Strip, NOW. 3) No, it's your turn...

Scary decisions

UGHH...First of all I want to be clear that I am not liking the whole webMD thing right now. I can't find...

Posted by melly2210

4 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Scary decisions UGHH...First of all I want to be clear that I am not liking the whole webMD thing right now. I can't find...

You Did WHAT?

Any embarrassing stories? Any silly things that you have done? Inquiring groupies want to know!!! My...

When all else fails, go Bipolar all over their azzes!!

Posted by bpcookie

41 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:You Did WHAT? Any embarrassing stories? Any silly things that you have done? Inquiring groupies want to know!!! My...

Hey

Hey, would you guys wake up and entertain me or something. Tell some jokes, funny stories, talk about movies...

When all else fails, go Bipolar all over their azzes!!

Posted by bpcookie

6 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Hey Hey, would you guys wake up and entertain me or something. Tell some jokes, funny stories, talk about movies...

Looking Back Again (Maybe Triggers)

After the very mention of Sandy Hook has disappeared from the headlines, Obuzzma has paraded the survivors...

Posted by Anon_1109

5 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Looking Back Again (Maybe Triggers) After the very mention of Sandy Hook has disappeared from the headlines, Obuzzma has paraded the survivors...

NFL Football? poss. trigger

and this one is for the goat

When all else fails, go Bipolar all over their azzes!!

Posted by bpcookie

4 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:NFL Football? poss. trigger and this one is for the goat

Venting & Stuff (*could have triggers, not sure*)

Ok, so I need a place to set this out and see what others think abut it all...I don't know I've just got so, so...

Posted by skypper

Ok, so I need a place to set this out and see what others think abut it all...I don't know I've just got so, so much in my head so trying to empty it out some? lol
Ok, that doesn't sound quite right, but you know....

Lately I've been thinking about the question everyone asks me, How did you end up with this guy? Why do you stay there? How do you deal? Well the answer, of course is not a simple one and I finally had a crystal clear answer to it.

I found someone who despises me as much as I despise myself. Not to say that he's always bad or always has been, but the two of us together in a relationship, we just don't get along all that well.
At the time I made the decision to come back here I was at the lowest point of my life that I had ever been, and I wanted to die, had written myself off and didn't think I deserved anything or to ever be happy again, so when my dad and brother pushed me to come back here, I conceded. Some of you know all of this already so I won't go into too many details there.
Lately I've been so sad and overwhelmed with everything going on, it's life, it just keeps coming at you. Issues with my daughter (that's another long, long story), so, so busy with my kids, pretty much every day we have some kind of appointment or another along with all the regular stuff, yet I'm with them literally 24/7 and I feel like I have no support or encouragement whatsoever, I'm just overwhelmed.
And I think to myself, WHAT am I doing here?
I'm not saying I want to leave and run away, I just want to find a way to deal with my problems instead of ignoring them anymore.

Everything bad that happens or goes wrong with my kids, I get the blame...most of the time I ignore it as a bunch of bs, other times I want to smack the hell out of certain people, and other times it just makes me really sad...

But at the end (or beginning) of it all, I have realized that I am very angry, I mean ANGRY, like seething with anger and I don't know what to do with or about it. And also really, really sad. Not a good combo.

The other night I randomly stopped at some little store, a place I normally would never go to look for some coffee filters. I caught a glimpse of this guy handing out flyers for a church as I was going in, but thought that I must be mistaken in thinking it was who I thought it was.

Well walking out with my son, I looked and it was who I thought it was, I kind of hoped he didn't recognize me because well, honestly it's been like 20 years since the last time i saw him and I've changed (I thought) and I looked terrible from having been up all this past week with insomnia, I had only gone out to give my SIL a ride to pick something up, since I have a truck. Dude, it was my ex-bf, as in, my very 1st bf ever, 1st boy i ever kissed bf...

SO he's all like, what? you're not even gonna say hi?
So, I turned around and said ummm, hi, i'm with my son, he said hi to my son and asked his name, told me he was a grandpa now & had 2 granddaughters that he was so in love with, asked how my mom, her husband (deceased) and my bf were doing (yeah they knew each other back then) ....and after a minute or two i said i had to go...I kind of wanted to talk a little more to ask how he was doing but probably not the best idea ever.

It was weird, I was totally unprepared for that. It got me to thinking, I really used to love that boy (now man) but I broke up with him because this one time he did something, or rather tried to do something that really I would not stand for and s we broke up. But we kept in touch and he always seemed to check up on me and ask if I was doing ok, and if whomever I was seeing was being good to me, he always seemed to really care about me and never treated me wrong again. But life goes on you know, he had a kid from some girl back when we were still teens and I moved away...View Thread

Posted by skypper

8 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Venting & Stuff (*could have triggers, not sure*) Ok, so I need a place to set this out and see what others think abut it all...I don't know I've just got so, so...

Email Spam

Nope, not the Spam you eat. Thought it would be fun to list some of the crazy spam emails that you get. Here...

When all else fails, go Bipolar all over their azzes!!

Posted by bpcookie

13 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Email Spam Nope, not the Spam you eat. Thought it would be fun to list some of the crazy spam emails that you get. Here...

Happy End Of the World!!!

I just wanted to wish everyone a happy end of the world!!! I hope you bought some champagne, the expensive...

When all else fails, go Bipolar all over their azzes!!

Posted by bpcookie

7 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Happy End Of the World!!! I just wanted to wish everyone a happy end of the world!!! I hope you bought some champagne, the expensive...

All I Want For Christmas Is........could be trigge...

List 10 things that you want for Christmas 1. A new Va-gii-gii 2. Better heath 3. To go on vacation to...

When all else fails, go Bipolar all over their azzes!!

Posted by bpcookie

13 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:All I Want For Christmas Is........could be triggering List 10 things that you want for Christmas 1. A new Va-gii-gii 2. Better heath 3. To go on vacation to...

Snowy's Back

OMG, Snowy's back. *Cookie runs around the board cleaning up the place, dusting, sweeping, throwing the dirty...

When all else fails, go Bipolar all over their azzes!!

Posted by bpcookie

0 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Snowy's Back OMG, Snowy's back. *Cookie runs around the board cleaning up the place, dusting, sweeping, throwing the dirty...

Computer issues

Well, I have been without a computer for a while. Did not have the money to fix it but finally said screw...

Posted by DizzyJgirl

2 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Computer issues Well, I have been without a computer for a while. Did not have the money to fix it but finally said screw...

Academic or Social Support?

Hello, Groupies, I just scanned the main board and read how many readers would like to keep their contacts more...

There are times you don't mean to say what you mean to say you mean.

Posted by ibex7

3 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Academic or Social Support? Hello, Groupies, I just scanned the main board and read how many readers would like to keep their contacts more...

Whacky Street Signs

When all else fails, go Bipolar all over their azzes!!

Posted by bpcookie

1 Reply | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Whacky Street Signs

Hi!

Thanks for the invite! I love your picture too, btw. I love putting a face to your sweet posts!

Posted by monkeybee

7 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Hi! Thanks for the invite! I love your picture too, btw. I love putting a face to your sweet posts!

Ok all you grumpies

Hello Grumps, Where is everyone hiding? I have noticed that the main board has been very very quiet. Which...

When all else fails, go Bipolar all over their azzes!!

Posted by bpcookie

1 Reply | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Ok all you grumpies Hello Grumps, Where is everyone hiding? I have noticed that the main board has been very very quiet. Which...

Been very rough lately-----May Trigger

I been having a rough time lately. I finally came to conclusion that moving isn't going happen. I...

Posted by purpledolphingirl4

2 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Been very rough lately-----May Trigger I been having a rough time lately. I finally came to conclusion that moving isn't going happen. I...

Testing!

This site is not user friendly with my computer - Grrrr.

Posted by mercygive

2 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Testing! This site is not user friendly with my computer - Grrrr.

Had a cognitive test today. It S ucked

Kid you not. It sucked. All I can say is I hate puzzles, so there is no way I could even score a normal on...

Posted by Anon_41638

4 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Had a cognitive test today. It S ucked Kid you not. It sucked. All I can say is I hate puzzles, so there is no way I could even score a normal on...

Mercy Hun

I had to scrap the purse. I finished it but totally hated it and I cant send you something I hate. One day,...

When all else fails, go Bipolar all over their azzes!!

Posted by bpcookie

5 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Mercy Hun I had to scrap the purse. I finished it but totally hated it and I cant send you something I hate. One day,...

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