So glad to hear that all if everything
Worked out! Phew what a relief!
It's just strange me popping by because you know how I like to pop now and again.... Lol
I don't know if I told you guys, I adopted a brand new baby April 2nd, I was horribly depressed and she's helped me so incredibly much, her name is Koda and she's a pup, was was 6-8 weeks when I adopted her and just turned 6 months!
I love all animals... I did I could afford to have a ranch or something for them all! LolView Thread
Oh you guys are probably right! I feel like I do need t get away, BY MYSELF, for a bit. But any time I wwanna go somewhere he's like why don't you take so & so with you, they NEED to get out, you NEED to do stuff with them, you NEED to spend more time with them.... ummmm HEllOOO!!! I feel like I'm with one of my kids or the other every f'ing second of every f'ing day!!!!!! I'm suffocating, that IS the problem, I just figured it out.
I'm suffocating, drowning in all this mess, all this stress, I am so stressed beyond you wouldn't believe. There's stuff that's been going on that I can't post here or on facebook that has me freaking out every day....
Everyone says I'm a good parent, so why do I feel so rotten at it?
We're only in February...I'm trying to plan a pre-mothers-day getaway with one of my SIL's who i know would go, like a week before mothers day we take our own day, rent a room and go on a winery tour and to the casino, well i'm not a gambler but it would be nice just to be out in the land of the living...but thats not till MAY!
Boys will be out of town this weekend, so it'll be me and my dd, we're planning on doing our hair, eating junk and having a James Franco Movie Marathon! lol That will be fun I think, plus my roots are about 2inches long, so I really need to fix my hair...
I think I will look into finding a punching bag, maybe I can find a good deal on craigslist, that's where I found my treadmill... Alright I've gotta run and get my son from school, its a short day today. thank you everyone for taking time to even read this ~mc~ <3View Thread
Oh yeah, I get all those , plus the ones Have an affair with a cheating wife today Mature Singles Dating christian mingle Asian Singles Meet Big Beautiful Women Stayhard male enhancement mesh patch recall lawsuit check my benefits get 10,000 in you bank account TODAY Oh and I apparently won The National Lottery as well as a $1,000 gift card to best buy! *WOOOT!!!*
It's like, WOW HOW did they KNOW I was looking for a mature christian, asian, big beautiful woman who can stay hard while i have my surgical mesh removed and cash in on my millions of dollars??? I think they've been spying on my with that SpyCAm they've been trying to sell me too!
I go through them just to look and laugh, then delete all. Also because every once in a blue moon an actual email I need will end up in my spam folderView Thread
Girl, i just don't understand how I landed here. I had made the decision so long ago not to be but here I am. The boyfriend, i know we have our issues, he's not a bad guy, I know I complain a lot and there's stuff to be desired and things he does...but we get/got along so much better as friends...I don't want to hurt anybody...least of all my kids...and he, well sometimes when I sit and think about it, he is the one who has stuck by me the longest, but my gawwd he can be such an a-hole!
I know I have to find happiness within myself before i can find/experience it with another person. I need to find a way to deal with this ever present rage that lives inside me, I mean it is always there.View Thread
I feel like I was so much more sure about myself back then and about what I would take and accept and what I would not and had no problem letting someone know they could not treat me however they wanted.
I know having kids changes things, but somewhere along the line I think I just lost all my self respect and I just can not figure out how the hell that happened!
Then a day or two later I was talking to my brother on the phone and he asked if I wanted to knw WHY he & dad pushed me back here. So I asked why and he said it was because dad and himself felt bad that they couldn't give me the lifestyle that I needed, that they couldn't provide for me the way I was used to and deserved and they thought this guy could and that it would be best for me.
So that's what they decided. I really disagree with that, I told my brother that's not even what MATTERS anyone can give me THINGS and I don't really need them. He told me, Dude, you're high-maintenance, I said I wasn't, but he insists that I am...*shrugs* idk... But even if that's true, don't you think some day I could have found someone who really wants to be with me who could provide?
So then I was thinking, God maybe thats why my dad was feeling so bad and so guilty because he saw and heard how unhappy I was...but at that time it wasn't just here, I was really going through a lot and struggling through my days just to somewhat function back then, so that might be another reason they thought I needed to get out of the ghetto...I told my brother yeah, we were really poor, but we were happy, and he did agree with that at least.
So now, do you know how I feel? I feel like one of those girls from the midevel times whose family sold her off to the barron so she could inherit his lands and horses...when all the time she was pining over one day finding her one true love who may be a stable boy or he may have been a prince but it wouldn't have mattered either way.
Well I have no resolution...just trying to get it out...that's some of what's been bouncing back and forth through my mind these past few days...stuff I can't talk to anyone about....I wish my mind weren't so "busy"View Thread
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