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Grumpy Groupies

This is a group for all my buddies. If your in a sad mood or happy mood, pls ... more

Reply: NFL Football? poss. trigger

Bwahahahahahahahaaaaa Thats what i think of anytime i watch football, all these men in...

Posted by skypper

4 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:NFL Football? poss. trigger Bwahahahahahahahaaaaa Thats what i think of anytime i watch football, all these men in...

Reply: Venting & Stuff (*could have triggers, not sure*)

Oh you guys are probably right! I feel like I do need t get away, BY MYSELF, for a bit. But...

Posted by skypper

8 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Venting & Stuff (*could have triggers, not sure*) Oh you guys are probably right! I feel like I do need t get away, BY MYSELF, for a bit. But...

Reply: Email Spam

Oh yeah, I get all those , plus the ones Have an affair with a cheating wife today Mature...

Posted by skypper

13 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Email Spam Oh yeah, I get all those , plus the ones Have an affair with a cheating wife today Mature...

Reply: Venting & Stuff (*could have triggers, not sure*)

Girl, i just don't understand how I landed here. I had made the decision so long ago not to...

Posted by skypper

8 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Venting & Stuff (*could have triggers, not sure*) Girl, i just don't understand how I landed here. I had made the decision so long ago not to...

Reply: Venting & Stuff (*could have triggers, not sure*)

(***continued***) I feel like I was so much more sure about myself back then and about...

Posted by skypper

(***continued***)

I feel like I was so much more sure about myself back then and about what I would take and accept and what I would not and had no problem letting someone know they could not treat me however they wanted.

I know having kids changes things, but somewhere along the line I think I just lost all my self respect and I just can not figure out how the hell that happened!

Then a day or two later I was talking to my brother on the phone and he asked if I wanted to knw WHY he & dad pushed me back here. So I asked why and he said it was because dad and himself felt bad that they couldn't give me the lifestyle that I needed, that they couldn't provide for me the way I was used to and deserved and they thought this guy could and that it would be best for me.

So that's what they decided.

I really disagree with that, I told my brother that's not even what MATTERS anyone can give me THINGS and I don't really need them. He told me, Dude, you're high-maintenance, I said I wasn't, but he insists that I am...*shrugs* idk...
But even if that's true, don't you think some day I could have found someone who really wants to be with me who could provide?

So then I was thinking, God maybe thats why my dad was feeling so bad and so guilty because he saw and heard how unhappy I was...but at that time it wasn't just here, I was really going through a lot and struggling through my days just to somewhat function back then, so that might be another reason they thought I needed to get out of the ghetto...I told my brother yeah, we were really poor, but we were happy, and he did agree with that at least.

So now, do you know how I feel?
I feel like one of those girls from the midevel times whose family sold her off to the barron so she could inherit his lands and horses...when all the time she was pining over one day finding her one true love who may be a stable boy or he may have been a prince but it wouldn't have mattered either way.

Well I have no resolution...just trying to get it out...that's some of what's been bouncing back and forth through my mind these past few days...stuff I can't talk to anyone about....I wish my mind weren't so "busy"View Thread

Posted byskypper

8 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Venting & Stuff (*could have triggers, not sure*) (***continued***) I feel like I was so much more sure about myself back then and about...

Venting & Stuff (*could have triggers, not sure*)

Ok, so I need a place to set this out and see what others think abut it all...I don't know...

Posted by skypper

Ok, so I need a place to set this out and see what others think abut it all...I don't know I've just got so, so much in my head so trying to empty it out some? lol
Ok, that doesn't sound quite right, but you know....

Lately I've been thinking about the question everyone asks me, How did you end up with this guy? Why do you stay there? How do you deal? Well the answer, of course is not a simple one and I finally had a crystal clear answer to it.

I found someone who despises me as much as I despise myself. Not to say that he's always bad or always has been, but the two of us together in a relationship, we just don't get along all that well.
At the time I made the decision to come back here I was at the lowest point of my life that I had ever been, and I wanted to die, had written myself off and didn't think I deserved anything or to ever be happy again, so when my dad and brother pushed me to come back here, I conceded. Some of you know all of this already so I won't go into too many details there.
Lately I've been so sad and overwhelmed with everything going on, it's life, it just keeps coming at you. Issues with my daughter (that's another long, long story), so, so busy with my kids, pretty much every day we have some kind of appointment or another along with all the regular stuff, yet I'm with them literally 24/7 and I feel like I have no support or encouragement whatsoever, I'm just overwhelmed.
And I think to myself, WHAT am I doing here?
I'm not saying I want to leave and run away, I just want to find a way to deal with my problems instead of ignoring them anymore.

Everything bad that happens or goes wrong with my kids, I get the blame...most of the time I ignore it as a bunch of bs, other times I want to smack the hell out of certain people, and other times it just makes me really sad...

But at the end (or beginning) of it all, I have realized that I am very angry, I mean ANGRY, like seething with anger and I don't know what to do with or about it. And also really, really sad. Not a good combo.

The other night I randomly stopped at some little store, a place I normally would never go to look for some coffee filters. I caught a glimpse of this guy handing out flyers for a church as I was going in, but thought that I must be mistaken in thinking it was who I thought it was.

Well walking out with my son, I looked and it was who I thought it was, I kind of hoped he didn't recognize me because well, honestly it's been like 20 years since the last time i saw him and I've changed (I thought) and I looked terrible from having been up all this past week with insomnia, I had only gone out to give my SIL a ride to pick something up, since I have a truck. Dude, it was my ex-bf, as in, my very 1st bf ever, 1st boy i ever kissed bf...

SO he's all like, what? you're not even gonna say hi?
So, I turned around and said ummm, hi, i'm with my son, he said hi to my son and asked his name, told me he was a grandpa now & had 2 granddaughters that he was so in love with, asked how my mom, her husband (deceased) and my bf were doing (yeah they knew each other back then) ....and after a minute or two i said i had to go...I kind of wanted to talk a little more to ask how he was doing but probably not the best idea ever.

It was weird, I was totally unprepared for that. It got me to thinking, I really used to love that boy (now man) but I broke up with him because this one time he did something, or rather tried to do something that really I would not stand for and s we broke up. But we kept in touch and he always seemed to check up on me and ask if I was doing ok, and if whomever I was seeing was being good to me, he always seemed to really care about me and never treated me wrong again. But life goes on you know, he had a kid from some girl back when we were still teens and I moved away...View Thread

Posted byskypper

8 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Venting & Stuff (*could have triggers, not sure*) Ok, so I need a place to set this out and see what others think abut it all...I don't know...

Have you seen this shirt???

Posted by skypper

5 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Have you seen this shirt???

Reply: Boo

wth was i thinking??? i dont even remembe rwriting that ^ up there! huhhhh, oh welll...i...

Posted by skypper

11 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Boo wth was i thinking??? i dont even remembe rwriting that ^ up there! huhhhh, oh welll...i...

Reply: Boo

oh yes mine is in tip top shape! as you know i had to get a replacement and so far so good...

Posted by skypper

11 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Boo oh yes mine is in tip top shape! as you know i had to get a replacement and so far so good...

Reply: Boo

uh-ohhhhhhh

Posted by skypper

11 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Boo uh-ohhhhhhh

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