When your husband gets on facebook and looks up an old girlfriend from 15 years ago and they start sending each other private messages on facebook and talk on the phone in the middle of the night when he is suppose to be working? Not only hiding the fact for weeks and then actually goes and sleeps with her. When I find out I go completely nuts. He is making no excuses and saying all the right things and even went to see a therapist who called me and wants me to come in with him. Then I was helping him with his new phone cause the moron had a fit about how stupid he was and mutilated his phone. Anyhow we were trying to figure out some gmail stuff and guess what I found. Yes a message to her about two hours after we got the phone. Her messages to him basically told him to get lost. So bitch that I am I sent her an email from his gmail account and totally flipped her out. She now has threatened both he and I with a restraining order if either of us contact her again. So now here I sit trying to get my wits about me. I am in like this total broken state and can't even think. He looks so remorseful and pathetic that I just don't know what to do or if this can be repaired. He is being totally open and honest about every little thing and really wants us in therapy together. One thing he did say was that he was 45 years old and felt like no one would be attracted to him. He never meant for things to happened but I guess he was trying to relive being 20 again. If that's the case why do it with someone the same age and not some young girl. I am so confused and devastated. I wonder if things can be repaired or not. What would you all do??View Thread
I keep asking myself "WHY" I swear I am going completely mad and have turned into an FBI agent. So far my only problem is that damn Android phone. I can't figure it out and it is making me psycho. I despretly want to know whats in it even though I shouldn't. He said I could look but it is to difficult to work. I will keep my Iphone thank you. How do I quit from obsessing??? Pdoc told me today that I will until he proves himself. I can't sleep, I can't eat. I keep reading books which my tdoc told me not to but I ignored her. She said they were going to more damage then good. I am suppose to be focusing on me and not him but I am failing. I keep trying to write down questions and concerns to just deal with in our therapy but like my tdoc says, I am to impulsive. I just spew it out even though I know it is unproductive. Forgive me. I need sleep and a relaxed mind. I have 4 more days to get it together before I see tdoc again. I swore to her I would focus on me...haaaa not gonna happenView Thread
At this point I agree. I can't look anymore after my major setback on Monday. They therapist of course told him I was going to check and question everything. Well last night his stupid phone kept waking me up ringing and dinging. So stupid me looks on the data log on AT&T and it said he had like 5 1min. voicemails. So this morning I told him his phone was waking me up due to all those voicemails. He then smarts off and says, "Yea that must have been all my other girlfriends calling". I wasn't accusing him cause I figured it was work, but I think he is getting aggravated with either me or himself for having to go thru this questioning. I sure as hell just wish I could sleep. Even with him here under my nose, I still can't sleep. And you wanna hear the most stupid thing of all... All I continuously keep thinking about thru all the despair is having sex...all the time. Weird. My tdoc says its a normal response because I am questioning my sexuality, and the book I am reading says it is all part of the emotional rollercoaster. How in the world can you be so mad, so broken and want sex like now, like everywhere. This is a really weird feeling. Don't know what to do there. He did write me the most beautiful post on my facebook for everyone to see. He is trying I guess. Grrrrr still want to bash him in the head thoughView Thread
This just gets better and better. Now I have discovered all the deleted texts and all the words said about me and our relationship. Found out he chased her around like a horny dog after a female in heat. Pathetic. Glad she at least told him so. Oh and best yet, he got another phone and the dumbass put the phone number in one of his gmail messages to her. A phone! I am in a living hell. He has no clue that all he did was type in his ID an my laptop remembers everything, links all the accounts, gives me passwords etc. There is no place I can't go. The phone was a good plan but stupid mistake mentioning it. He hasn't seen or talked to her since the 13th when it all blew up and she threatened a restraining order. He even called her Angel...I am Angel and have been since like highschool. He is the only one who does not call me angel. Never has. I am just so sick, literally tired from not sleeping, burnt out on investigation and just plain old mad, hurt and totally broken. Again thanks for letting me me post and vent. My psych major daughter told me to write it all down and then burn it that maybe that would get it out of my head. He asked me last night if I wanted to slap him....and boy did IView Thread
He has gone thru email, phone, FB everyhing and blocked and deleted it all. He had me make all his new passwords and took the lock off his phone where I can get in it anytime. He is reading a book that his therapist suggested and seems realy truthful. But who knows, how do you trust. If there is a will there is a way. The restraining order may keep him away from her but I can't make choices for him if temptation arises again. Hopefully the couples therapy will help with this. I may just be wishing on stars here, but I don't think he is like a continuous cheater who can't fix the marriage. My ex cheated so much and lied so much that I never even had to wonder if he was cheating because he was. This situation is so way different. I guess that is why I have some hope. I just don't know how to act around dh now. Texting is impersonal that that is easier. In his actual presence though, I just kinda stand there waiting for him to say some majic words and make it go away.
Thanks for letting me talk. I don't want to let kids,family, etc know what is going on. It is nice having someone who is non judgmental and supportive to give advice and just listen
No one gets my sarcastic humor.So I give up on facebook. Even my hubby don't get it. My husband thinks I am jealous of the mother of his daughter. She was 15 when they had the baby. All because I was teasing him about sending her messages that didn't relate to his daughter. He is certain that I think he is running away with her and even told me to call her and ask. Durp, he is so nuts and doesn't get sarcasm. Apparently I am to quirky for people and they take me serious. I told them I was sorry for offending people and was leaving til I can be nice.
Then again facebook is funny. If you remember my mom passed in Feb and now my dad is facebooking his old girlfriend from high school in which he had her name tattooed on his arm for over 30 plus years. Anyhow, she now thinks I am her best friend and keeps chatting me up. Today I asked my dad if he had my bowls because they were missing. She replied that she needed glasses because she thought I said my bowels were missing.
I have to admit I am a facebook junkie and have to get my fix 50,000 times a day. Lord, I even chat with my 15yr old's girlfriend probably more then he does.
I think I am gonna lay low. I put an evil eye as my profile pic to get my point across. Unfortunately no one will find the humor in that either.
Now today some old girlfriend called him and they sat and giggled for like an hour. He put his phone number in his FB profile. I was trying not to be aggravated but I was in the kitchen scrubbing around the sink and counter with a toothbrush trying not to listen but listening all the less. I suggestion of meeting up bugs me. Am I overreacting?View Thread
I also get SS and the kids get a portion until they turn 18. Ex is not entitled to the money because you are are in charge of their money since it your SS and have to report each year how you handled the money. You are entitled to all the money.He has no claim and cant even file taxes on it unless you were marriedView Thread
Talk to the person that you are most comfortable.with. Either can help you thru the situation and offer suggestions. They can help you with dealing with your parents which kinda helps take the total burden off of you. Sometimess parents are more able to repond to an adult figure. Do talk to someone if your parents are not grasping the total situation.
When I was your age I was totally depressed my whole time in jr high and high school and I never told anyone. NO one guessed because I was an A student but I remember wishing someone would help me. As an adult I was diagnosed with clinical depression and finally put on medication which helped dramatically. Then my diagnosis changed to bipolar after a manic episode. I tell you all this because I wish someone would have helped me thru those teen years and I look back and dont know why I nevrer told anyone, I guess I was just expecting them to guess. Depression runs in our family. grandma was in a psych ward for a while my mom is on medication and now me. Luckily my sister escaped this madness. So please open up and tell someone and get the ball rolling. You will feel so much better if you get the help you need.View Thread
I admire you for being so mature and wanting help. Parents aren't aways easy and sometimes it is hard for them to understand if they do not suffer from depression themselves. A third party like the school councillor (I know I spell good) is a great idea to help the parents understand.
Anyway when my son who is now 14 started to show symptoms, I saw it but I didnt think someone that young could experience such things. My son has a therapist at his school and he actually went to her and she contacted me. Together, the school and I got him the help he needed. It took that third party to open my eyes. My son now takes prozac and is happy as a clam.He sees his school therapist every week and can leave any class anytime to go see her if he is feeling really down etc.