Hello grumpy groupies it has been a long time. I ignored the dx I have not yet been dx by a doctor. Yet I know and so do the few left who know me. It is certain by popular opinion and it is also very embarrasing. bipolar sounds like you a retarded huh. wish another word could define my behavior which is in a sence a dx. Anyway 2 months I had manic attacks horrible ones and I dont remember all of that I did exactly. Public health clinic turned me down. primarily because I am pretty and very normal looking. Well yesterday my husband/boyfriend almost left me. I snapped. He said he was just sitting there. I am not sure if I believe him he had to of don something. Anyway I was at a friends earlier that day. I started crying and I said something is wrong I need help. '"Oh you are alright" He offered a beer I declined dont drink my behavior again., Well I came home and did $9000.00-$10,000.00. I hurt myself as well and hit my boyfriend. Flattened his tires with a knife and broke the 3000.00 television. Now I dont remember all this. He remained upset yet I am fine. I am scared because that is a felony. I already have a DV. I would be in jail and who would take care of my dog and cats.? How can you stop a attack??? Should I go back to the public health center??? I am scared and I dont want to do this again. This happens every year. every year it gets worse. Why do you not remember why you snapped? Do you take medicine.? I tryed deep breaths and calming thing but your mind starts spinning and you cant. God help I am crazy. I belong in a strait jacket and yet I dont even have a diagnosis. I havent looked hard for help. I want to ignore this. I cant this time the damage and physical was bad I hear. No recolection. What the hell causes this manic attack? How do you stop it? Please I need to know have anyone had a similar incident?View Thread
forgot manic attack 2 nights ago. then almost set house on fire 3 hours ago. was yelled at ' cant you do anything. I have had it I am done." I am ready to break or have manic attack. attack 2 days ago embarrasing one before drove out of state. God I cant stop it. Well I doubt this of intrest to anyone but the world itself is of no intrest to anyone it seems. Perhaps thats why we become bipolarView Thread
you r a piceas to. Maybe it is are sign we are doomed. all the singers i like and understand the lyrics are piceas and dead. when is your birthday my guess is the 23rd of february am i close.View Thread
I love you u sound much like me. I could not ever hold a job 10 years. I am a female who jst turned 35 years old . I am a piceas and I have had 92 jobs already. People always tell me I should grow up. Guess we regress when becoming bipolar. I do agree temporary help may be a great solution. I have not even been diagnosed yet. Like you said you know when something is not right. Stop drinking damn you. Nothing in life will ever come good from that. Its hard I know all to well. I want a beer know. See if i here the word beer yum. I am irish though lol. I drank a 12 pack of nonalcholic beer and thought I was drunk. I just like the taste. If I drink when I am real high down or real high low it is a disaster I try not to drink because my husband has a hard time dealing with me. When I am drunk he says I am the worst ever. I need to see a doctor to be diagnosed to get short term disability. I didnt know you could get it at all for this. I was seeking help to save my husband from leaving because then I would be all alone. My mom died at 51 years old. She was the only one who ever truly loved me and nobody will love me again like that. Her death is when I lost it. Even before people would tell me I am the most depressed moody sensitive person they ever had known., Then it was times 10 at her death. I will never be the same. I will never not fear death because that is the only hope I have of seeing her againView Thread
Ignorance is bliss perhaps. I think to much as well and did drink alot of alcohol until I ended up naked in the street looking for a casino. I did not proofread or understand a thing I posted. It was a attack and thank you for noticing a posting on this mysterious website. it made no sence at all but it did save a 42 inch flat screen tv. Sorry that it was one of those I I me call the wambulance I never liked self centered people. Perhaps I am that person but when in a normal state forget my problems and prefer to here others stories I have been getting worse It has to subside soon right. How long does extreme ups and downs goView Thread
Wow you are nice. Thank you I will check into help SSIs seem complicated. Looking for a not so social job I do best at those. Had a news paper route once until a dispute occured. I chucked the newspapers out of my truck and ran over them 20 times along with wheelies. The entire warehouse of workers came to watch the show. I must get help and will check Nami tomorrow. This last month has been very very hard took some old medicine stratera and paroxetine and do believe it stopped a episode. How long have you been bipolar? I am soo depressed I put my phone in the sink after leaving everyone a horrible nasty message. I am so ashamed and have to control that. I make myself look crazy. Was outside screaming today and doubt that individual will ever want to see me again. I will research help but I am not ever going outside again. I am safer alone. People seem to be raptors who see you and analayze what they may want from you. Well they can have it all. The world is so bad that is the reason god takes the good ones first. This life seems to be hell. Well it seems a doctor would have to state you are unable to work. I want to work but I dont want them to see the monster I become. Logic thinking seems the best solution. As you may know I dont but If I am indeed bipolar your actions and misbehavior seem appropriate at the time. Heres a funny one. I seen a animal patrol position available in the craigslist posting. I was so excited. Wrote them and told them that I am the crocodile hunter lol. I wish I was drunk because I found out I did that 3 days later. If I get a job what if I break The dv charges are severe and easy to obtain these days. felonies are like flyers inorder to control the masses. Guess it doesnt matter thank you and hope everyone had a wonderful labour day weekend. I worked hard all year trying to get hit by lightning .View Thread
Why am I doing this discussion is because perhaps someone has a answer. Grew up with hyper activity attention deficiet problems. Always had trouble fitting in. I have the most problem being serious in person. I seen bipolar information 1 year ago. 10 tests online all yes more then likely I am bipolar. Went to a clinic for people with no money. The shrink, women, dr, assistant, god only knows says ohh it takes years to diagnose it could be bipolar or dual personality with extreme anxiety. I was turned down for help. No help for BiPolar. I look so normal perhaps to be diagnosed or get help you druel. The problem is I am months possibly days even seconds from loosing 100% every human relationship. Sounds good but I will have manic attacks and I scare myself. I have been homeless and I am scared. Have had 92 jobs in mylife and I am 35 years old. Disability doubt it would help and its not what its about. Do you have to be rich for a real diagnosis. If I go to jail who will diagnosis it then. I have created hell for neighbors and family. I have to move because of me and my husband wants to leave me. No money and society drops you and still no answer for myself on what I did to deserve to be so empty. Do you just wait to die. I want a diagnosis for myself why I went crazy. All I know is I scared everyone away and I scare myself. The sceanery in life is all I truly like. This so called world when your bipolar does not work. Well proud of those who are bipolar holding a job and happy. Are you rich or lucky that help found you? Also keep your negative notes to yourself. Wrote a thing like this and recieved hate mails for a year. Was also kicked off facebook. Seems it is a government conspiracy to catch terrorists.View Thread
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