Sorry you are having a bad time with your symptoms. A couple things I'll explain to you:
1. Its possible that you may have another problem, though not necessarily HIV, but another sexually transmitted infection that is causing your symptoms. There are other tests doctors can check you out for, so I would return and let them know that the treatment didn't work so they can run more tests.
2. A sore throat and muscle aches could be just about anything, but you're right that it would be good to check out your HIV status to make sure that you're ok. But please at least wait a month to two months to get checked out...
Professionally, I don't agree with their reporting that oral sex carries some risk for HIV transmission, because I have read numerous studies that have shown that oral sex carries close to NO risk for HIV. But the thing to remember is that oral sex CAN transmit STDs like syphilis, herpes, warts and gonorrhea, which can increase the risk of HIV transmission to your male partner if he has one of these STDs.
One thing I will remind you of with oral sex along those lines. I know you are concerned about transmitting HIV to him, but if I were you I would be more concerned of what you could possibly catch from him. STDs like the ones I described above are MUCH easier to catch than HIV, so when you decide to be with that special someone, make sure you both get tested for STDs as well so you can make sure you are not putting yourself at increased risk of catching anything else that will be easier to catch due to your positive status.
Dan, Gail and myself often answer questions around the potential risk of different exposures for those of you who are HIV negative - but I want to take a minute to discuss with you some steps to take if you do test positive or have tested positive in the past and don't know what to do? Here are a few tips for you:
1. First, KNOW that an HIV diagnosis IS NOT a death sentence! Most people testing positive today can expect a productive life similar to when you get diagnosed with diabetes or high blood pressure and have to take medications.
2. Talk to someone about it - either a person in your life you trust or an online community (www.poz.com , www.tpan.com ) - you'll be amazed at how talking with people who have been through it can help you through a tough time.
3. Go see a physician - it can be your primary care physician or an Infectious Disease or HIV specialist (www.aahivm.org ). Be responsible and get yourself checked out from head to toe to see if you need medications and other services immediately or can wait. There are close to 30 medications that are effective in slowing down the virus and the infectious and inflammation complications of being positive, so educate yourself and see what meds may be right for you.
4. Address your mental health - just as important as getting the physical checked out is taking care of the psychological. If you are dealing with depression or anxiety either before or after the diagnosis, don't ignore this aspect of your health... its crucial to you moving forward! Family, friends, pastors, spirituality, therapists, psychologists/psychiatrists... whatever works for you, just don't ignore it!
5. Communicate with your sexual partners - while its true you don't have to tell the whole world about testing positive, it is your responsibility to let sexual and romantic partners know. Many of us put ourselves at risk for HIV because we assume someone is negative, and many people adopt a "Don't ask, Don't tell" approach to talking about HIV. Be strong and honest - if a person runs or judges you because you are positive, they probably weren't good for you in the first place...
As always, take care of you first people, whether you are positive or negative... defeating this disease depends on it!!!