Oh I have some advice. Just talk to her. The best way to assure her that it's not her -- is to talk to her. Most women enjoy the intimacy of sharing things. Believe me -- i hate to admit this but I think you are in need of some support so I will just spill it -- I'm a really sexual person. My husband was literally worn out when we first met. lol I didn't have Lupus at that point, but he got used to having it more often. So after Lupus started I wasn't in the mood as much. His feelings really got hurt bc I didn't tell him why I wasn't in the mood. I guess I just was too embarrassed. As soon as I bit the bullet and just told him things got better. Mostly, he was extremely relieved and so glad to know that it wasn't him. He and I came to an understanding and it has really helped. Tell her that you think that yall have something very special and you want to talk to her about it so that it won't become a big deal. That you normally wouldn't share this with someone, but you think that she's different and you can share things like that with her. Also, one thing I learned is to just try. Sometimes we forget how much fun it is until it's actually happening. lol I am guilty of that. You know? I will avoid it and I have the SAME thoughts that you were having about a few days off. But sometimes I just ignore myself and get into it and I'm glad that I did. It doesn't have to be this LONG drawn out sex, a well timed quickie has a lot of promise. View Thread
Hi! I can't believe people are still responding on this thread, but that should tell you something! I was emptying out some of my emails and saw this posting. Wow. Things have sure changed in 3 years. Sorry to say that I have not gotten pregnant. We did fertility treatments and it did nothing for me except drive me crazy. We are not even trying anymore and just enjoying our life together. I'm lucky to have a supportive and loving husband who doesn't care one way or the other. He just wants me to be happy and healthy. I still battle Lupus fatigue -- but have changed my life trying to get to a level of disease activity that I can handle (for the most part) I noticed while vacationing a few weeks in Florida over the last few years that my Lupus activity was SO low. My knees looked phenomenal and I had more energy than I'd felt in years. So.. we moved! Turns out it's the salt water and the salt in the air that has helped me more than words can describe. The sun doesn't bother me anymore. I put on my 50spf and it keeps me from burning. I even have a tan from spending time in the ocean snorkeling and boating with friends. It has literally changed my life. Do I have my bad days.. YES! Today is not the best of days, but I know it's mostly bc of the rain that has been coming in. We live in Gulf Breeze, FL and it's surrounded by water. As long as I go to the ocean two or three times a week, I'm not swollen up around my hands face and knees. We are not rich - by any means! We managed to save a little money after my disability was approved by a judge and we just moved. My husband got a transfer really quickly. We figured it was meant to be. I don't take Plaquenil or Prednisone or Methotrexate right now. I'm considering getting back on Plaquenil or trying Benlysta, I have my pain medicine, Neurontin for nerve pain, and flexeril for muscle cramps and ache - but this good weather really feeds my body and soul. I also started meditating with a group every week and it is refreshing. Strangely enough... It has even regulated my cycles.I never ever have 28 day cycles, but have had them since we moved here. Guys might not understand the relief that this brings, but it honestly does give me hope that maybe one day we will have a child. If not, I'm okay with that too. I hope everyone who has been on this thread is feeling good. That you are finding relief and able to live life more fully. I'm doing good now - but fully aware that with Lupus things can change from one day to the next. ((((hugs)))) I will keep up with this thread and answer anything back. I'm sorry I lost touch. It was a rough time for me and I know everyone on the thread was going through it just as bad.View Thread
LOL I was about to say, wow! 97!! I am not physically able to have children. I miscarried several times. The fertility doctors can't give me a reason besides the Lupus. I'm sure because my body can't handle it.View Thread
With much respect I want to respond to this. Good diet, exercise, and attitude aren't things that are going to help your lack of energy during a flare of Lupus. Those things could help anyone with almost any health issue. When it hurts to even get up to go to the bathroom because your knees are the size of softballs... red, hot, swollen softballs...and you have a rash all over your body for no apparent reason, your kidneys are killing you, and you're only 27 years old (I'm referring to myself).. then having a positive attitude isn't going to help you much. You can smile and joke all you want to, but you need to be on some sort of medicine for it. Plaquenil, Prednisone.. something! Those things will help with time. I went to Mayo Clinic and saw an excellent team of doctors that didn't just throw the "diet, exercise, attitude" regime at me and send me on my way. Thank GOD for them.View Thread
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