When I was a kid, my father had no problem being in his briefs around me, but always asked me to leave the room and shut the door if he had to change clothes or get naked for any reason. He never allowed me to see him naked and always gave me the same amount of privacy, never seeing me naked after the age of 5 or so. While I appreciate him respecting me and giving me my space, I wonder if he went too far in that extreme of personal space and privacy.
I remember from a very young age (maybe 4 or 5) being very curious about the adult male body as well as the adult female body. I can't say I was attracted to either, necessarily -- I was just curious about what people looked like under their clothes. When I was about 10 or 11 years old, I discovered I could look through the keyhole in the old-style doorknob of our bathroom door to see into the room. That night when my father came home from work and my mother was downstairs, he went upstairs to take a shower and I snuck over to the door and looked through the keyhole. He was still in his underwear, but when he pulled them off, I was surprised that I was actually seeing my dad's penis! It was real! (haha!) And when he finished his shower, I watched him get out and dry off and get dressed, all in the bathroom. I watched him do this routine many times, both in this house and in the next house we moved into, until I was about 14 or 15 years old.
I'm not sure why I was so curious, but by the time I reached my mid teens, I was watching porn online a lot and lost interest in seeing my dad naked. But when I was 19 or so, I had stopped watching porn (and was glad I gave it up) and was once again curious about seeing other guys nude. This interest never really went anywhere and I wasn't going to start spying on my dad again, but a few years later I joined a gym and saw guys naked in the locker room all the time. That's not why I joined the gym, of course, but it was an interesting aspect for me.
Now, after seeing my dad naked (which he still doesn't know about) and having experienced the gym locker room, I'm not as curious about male nudity as I used to be. I'm straight and happily married and male nudity holds no sexual interest for me, but somehow being nude with another man, especially if he is my friend, means something to me. It's something important, I think, as if by being nude together he's telling me that he is open to me, he trusts me, and wants us to know each other better and be comfortable and confident with each other.
Now here are my questions: 1. What does male nudity mean to you? 2. Were you curious about adult male nudity when you were a kid? 3. Whether yes or no, why do you think so? 4. How can we help other boys and men become more comfortable with male nudity in a proper context and stop always seeing it as something sexual or gay?
I disagree with the concept of letting the son come to his parents to get information. Parents are supposed to set examples for their children and not rely on their children to make the first move and hope they get it right. Parents need to take the initiative to teach their children the facts of life, especially in regards to an issue that can make a young son nervous and not want to talk about it, at least with his parents. That is the parents' responsibility as teachers and guides, not the son's.
I agree that it's not always necessary to have "the talk" with so many other sources of information out there and methods of obtaining it if the bond between parent and son is not close. But whose responsibility is it primarily to foster a close parent-child relationship? The parents'! The parents need to break their backs to build a tight bond with their kids, to make sure they are on the right track, to take the initiative to talk and teach about things even when it's uncomfortable, and equip their kids with everything they'll need as adults. TV can't replace a good father. The internet can't replace a mother's wisdom.View Thread
Don't wait too long. My dad never really talked to me about sex and certainly not masturbation and there were some other underlying issues festering between us. It finally got to the point that I had to drag him into a therapy session when I was 22 to open a discussion with him that should have happened 10 years earlier. The sooner you talk, the easier it is.View Thread
Thank you, calvin, for your honest and relevant response! I agree with you opinions on this as well. In fact, I agree with most of what you say on these message boards, and I'm wondering if you'd like to stay in touch. Maybe we could exchange thoughts, feelings, and beliefs more freely. Could you give me your e-mail address?View Thread
I don't go to the gym anymore because I can't afford it. I used to go and I loved it and I always showered after a workout. My gym had a communal shower, hot tub, sauna, and steam room. Most guys were either totally naked in them all or had a towel on. I always went naked just because I love being naked. I mean, how often do you get to be naked around a bunch of people without anyone caring? So I took advantage of the situation.
I never saw any erections, really, but if it happens, it happens, and I think most men understand. I wouldn't worry about it.View Thread
I disagree with that, GaMale. I'm married and my wife wants sex more often than I do. Not every wife disdains sex.
Rusty, I don't know why your girlfriend is refusing to have sex now. Maybe it's a religious or spiritual thing, maybe she just wants to turn over a new leaf in her life, maybe it's something else. The point is, she's a changing person and if you love her and are committed to her, you need to change with her in this. Abstinence isn't a negative thing in a relationship unless you're married. My wife and I committed to not have sex with each other at all, in any way, until we were married, and we're glad we made that decision. Instead, we found other ways to express our love and devotion to each other. I'd say channel your energy into loving her in other ways and growing more deeply in love with her as you do it.View Thread
Well, this problem has been resolved now. My friend committed suicide 2 days ago. I am taking care of some of his stuff and going through this whole process, but I don't spend much time with his wife right now and I'm moving away soon. So that's that.View Thread
I'm not sure I believe this. In fact,there are a few stories that come up on this message board that I don't entirely believe. I wonder how many guys come on here and make up stories or stretch the truth for their own personal enjoyment or other reasons.
He jacked off all over the walls and forgot to clean up? Really? Is this guy blind and stupid?View Thread