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It's so darn human of us to look back and think, "If only!"
"If only I had my high school body...if only I had that same pulsing desire...if only I was......WET!"
Truth is, our bodies are different now, and getting all these things back won't make us happy. I told my daughters before they married, "No man can make you happy. You have to already be happy, and then you can enjoy him and what he brings to the relationship. He's like the frosting on the delicious cake, and YOU are that cake! Be happy with what's now, fix what you can, and don't let your thoughts turn downward. There's so much to be glad for. Even when there isn't, go over to the mirror and smile. You are alive and you are loved. Some day you are going to realize that your mother is a genius."
I know that sounds pretty corny, but the truth is, we can make it happy NOW. GREAT if there's a remedy for what ails us, but if not, so what! Move forward, and make new happiness. And pass the wine.View Thread


Here is a little more info on kegels - I don't work for either site, so just read and glean what you like.
An added tip - kegels work for men, too! And once you get this muscle toned, you don't have to work it as often as when you are first starting up.
One more thing...as I've gotten older, I've stopped relying on my libido, and I kind of move forward into the sexual experience by faith, knowing that the kegels I'm doing (in the shower, before!) are going to increase blood flow, and that as we get into it, my interest and desire will increase - it works!
Things are just different as you age, and instead of getting frustrated with it, you come up with new 'tricks' (and as you are doing that, and working with each other, you are deepening your relationship, too).
http://www.webmd.com/urinary-incontinence-oab/pelvic-floor-kegel-exercises-for-urinary-incontinence-in-women
http://www.dothekegel.com/sexeffects/index.html
I don't look back anymore and wish for what we had, because what we have now is so much better in every way (even though we are loaded up with 'tools' we didn't need before
)Have a great day!View Thread

I'm 54, had a partial hysterectomy years ago and am in active menopause.
My dr. did give me a premarin-type cream because of pain during intercouse, which has been helpful.
Libido-wise, I had suffered a decrease. However! Kegel exercises have changed all that for me. I started out doing them three times a day (10 holds for 10 seconds, and then 30 fast squeezes) but now I just do them once a day (whenever I get in the car, that's my reminder to do some). Also, if I'm expecting a little Hop on Pop action soon, I start exercising that muscle - it brings blood to the area, and starts me thinking about it. I'm amazed!
At first it felt like it wasn't going to work, but I stayed with it. I started experiencing fulfilling orgasms again, and even felt frisky

It's a great investment in my husband's tenderness towards me to initiate regular sexual activity - he's having his own age-related sexual issues. We laugh a lot together, and just do whatever works.
We've been married 35 years now, and it's still getting better.View Thread
My dr. did give me a premarin-type cream because of pain during intercouse, which has been helpful.
Libido-wise, I had suffered a decrease. However! Kegel exercises have changed all that for me. I started out doing them three times a day (10 holds for 10 seconds, and then 30 fast squeezes) but now I just do them once a day (whenever I get in the car, that's my reminder to do some). Also, if I'm expecting a little Hop on Pop action soon, I start exercising that muscle - it brings blood to the area, and starts me thinking about it. I'm amazed!
At first it felt like it wasn't going to work, but I stayed with it. I started experiencing fulfilling orgasms again, and even felt frisky

It's a great investment in my husband's tenderness towards me to initiate regular sexual activity - he's having his own age-related sexual issues. We laugh a lot together, and just do whatever works.
We've been married 35 years now, and it's still getting better.View ThreadSee Related Women's Health Communities
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