Just signed in and saw your reply. The ideal of pursuing a bi or gay life was discus-ting to me. A life centered/focused on a sexual acting out behavior would have no basis. Only on a couple of occassions did I get with the same guy more than once. There was no emotional connection sought or wanted. Actually, that growing up non experience was devoid of intimacy. We three kids were emotionally abandoned from birth.
I am certainly aware that I am not the only guy who deals with same sex attraction.. As a matter of FACT every guy started with Same sex attraction..with masturbation? And in not so far past there were lots of healthy places where men gathered naked together and probably some were encouraged to meet outside one on one? Dynamics drastically change when one accepts a helping hand.. big boundary to cross. Been there done that more than once.View Thread
Final from Ron here. At my deepest point of shame and dis pare found Sexaholics Anonymous a few years ago and at the first meeting listening I realized without a doubt that I was a sex addict just like all the other guys in the room. some went for children (boys and girls) others for erotic hetreo massages, prostitutes, exhibitionism and some same gender anonymous sex.
My story was theres. I had taken part of my natural sexuality and miss used it as an emotional coping tool since I first started having arousal's about 5. Actually, it is rare but from birth I was emotionally abandoned and on my own to provide for all of my emotional needs. The awesome excitement of those first arousal I am sure I believed it was Self Love I so desperately sought.View Thread
Having said what I said in my first reply and read to other replies I now what to add to this string.
My first reply mentioned... down a road yu might not want to go. For me that road lead to annomyous un planed immediate sex with a goodlooking willing guy. It was never satisfying lacking.
However, last week I did a local Craigslust post, Mwm for nude friendly mwm time" Well, I assumed I would get some weird crazy responses. But instead a married guy about my age replied. He was up for it. I know for me just taking my clothes off give me an arousal charge. I think it would be cool fun to do this with this guy who replied. Where it is okay to "check each other out" Seeing another guy naked with a little charge. So he is coming down Monday to help me was down my cruiser at the marina shirtless with a couple of beers we might go below and let our manliness hang out...charged. Crazy?View Thread
The frequency issue. I probably me and I rarely mb after mid 30's Some friends have suggest the "Something about Mary" jerk off before the big date? Growing up with three 2 siblings and a shared bedroom I got in the habit of a fast jerk off maybe not getting fully erect for fear of being caught. That went on a long time and I think it carries over still today. I have been thinking of using the blue pill because it might help keep it up and get the first unload out of the way. Anyone tried that?View Thread
I am not sure that that is all about. I have struggled with same sex stuff since I started with myself very young in life. I never was about sex or intimacy but rather a child's miss use of my sexuality as a coping tool. I can recall sexualzing adult males. All of that may have come about as a result of detachment with my father.
Based on what you describe ...mb to the images this is taking you down a path you do not want to go. It will certainly lead to your crossing a boundary and actually doing it with someone.View Thread
I thought I had replied to this post earlier. This is something for me that came about very young 6-7 with self arousal it was exciting and it was the first thing that gave me any sense of self love that was not available from my parents. and as my home situation got worse I was drawn more and more back to it until it became my ONLY coping tool and that kept me from developing healhy coping tools to use when I was emotionally affraid, scared, lonley etc. But I knew it was wrong and I was always going to stop it.
By 10 ish I ran in male female porn and was overwhelmed imaging what my body would look like as a man someday. A couple of things came about with neighbor boys, but I knew something more was going on with me than them. This continued as an anonymous thing.... no one could know. Matter of fact the moment it was over I denied it even happened.
I married at 25 not having done anything for a year. I thought it was over. Being an emotional mess on the inside setteling into our marriage was more than I was ready for and I returned to the anonymous thing. I could not stop.
I reached out for help and tried several until about 14 years ago when I found a 12 step program called Sexaholics Anonymous a world wide group. There I learned I was a sex addict just like all the others at those meeting. I just happened to act out same sex. I was not gay. I accept I will always be drawn to this. I probably would not have survived my childhood without it, but it was ruining my life. It was not even fun it was just what I had to do to end an escape from life cycle.
I sought a therapist out a few years ago. Actually, he was a very liberal guy and our relationship began with his suggestion that I was bi and just needed to better manage my acting out. I had to teach him NO NO I am not bi. I am a addicted to this monkey on my back. Three years later when he did not feel he could help me further he agreed I was an addict.
If you want to communicate more about my experience send me a direct communication. SeattleRonW@gmail.comView Thread
Yes I have and was so charged I let it happen and immediatly upon unloading I though how crazy. I asked my doctor about it and he told the chances of catching something are almost nil.
I have come to where the stand up deal is so unsatisfying . I am kinda sorta looking for a "buddy" amoung all the guys I know to expand our friendship. Not like the only thing we do together. Not sure how to bring it up. Maybe one of my friends who comments about my body where rather than saying THANKS say, "I think your body is hot also" and let it hang out there or if the situation is right take my shirt off.View Thread
Tom..I am not injection Tes. I am injecting piece of the amino acid string called Frament (piece) 176-191. What this does is to tell my body to continue producing its own growth hormone and keep it stored in my paturity gland for when I am doing something it can be drawn upon. No change in my own tes.
I have read a bunch about it on longivity sites and there is no reason not to take it daily for rest of my life. This string also winds back the clock to reduce natural abdominal fat build up. Which it has. Since for it to be effective it is best to not have eaten for three hours prior to injections I stopped eating 3 hours before sleep so that when out body goes into its natureal sleep time repair with no food and an empty stomach it when it uses that stored abdominal fat. Plus it increases the quality of deeper sleep.
Just wanted you to know I am not doing the tessView Thread
This string I enjoyed reading and envy. I have had man anonymous sexual situations with other guys. Most times we did not even know each other name. One time deals. The excitement I can identify with.
I have thought about a FWB deal but a relationship just for sex does not interest me. It would feel awkward. But a real friend/buddy that we already did non sex things together that evolved to this just happening sounds fun. The hot tub setting or massage trade. Situations where something like this might come up rare.View Thread