If you still need help: there is a large possibility that you may be depressed. I would take the advice of your doctor and seek more information on how youre feeling. The lifestyle you currently are experiencing is no doubt very taxing. Please seek the services of a psychologist and a psychiatrist...you will leave appointments with these doctors with a new perspective. Your head will be clear and you'll have the confidence to starting living your life how you want to; basically without the stress as pain and just being able to enjoy your life.