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Joined: 02/05/2010
My Story:
tuloud54 posted: About 8 years ago the top of my left hand became painfully cold. Went to family dr of ten years. Sent me to neuro's,had mri's. and put me on Darvocet,4xdaily.Another year goes by and coldness went all the way up my arm to the shoulder. I could not work after 3 weeks. Doctor signed me out on disability and working together we finally found meds that worked for me. 50 mcg fentanyl and 4 percocets,5 mg. daily. Moved out of town and was referred to a pain mgmt clinic as my dr was now 90 minutes away and he was also worried of writing scrips. Pain clinic kept me on 50 patch and stopped all pills. I figure these people know what they are doing so I went along. The patch is a godsend but I noticed I had trouble going in stores,movies and generally places in public due to cold temps causing me pain. I tried expaining to clinic I was worried that quality of my life dropped way down due to avoiding what is normal temps for someone else. They said I should live with and not complain. Several times the patch had not worked for the full 72 hrs and with no back up,I ended up being in pain. I'm labeled drug seeking and have found a local dr put am really losing hope when all I wanted was relief as needed. I see a specialist for rsd in a week but now am scared. I would take nothing if I wasnt in pain. This pain clinic hurt me when I was originally excited to go. It's like they never believed I was in pain to begin with. I've lost everything and now am just looking to score drugs. This bites. I have never abused any meds and when I have no pain relief I would rather chew my arm off. Sorry to ramble but I'm angry,scared and hurt. I've done nothing wrong but this clinic was frustrated with me early on because I was still in pain. Not looking for help just prayers that someone will believe how much this really hurts. It used to be a bad dream but has now turned into a nightmare. In Nov of 2012 I did receive a pain pump with Dilaudid. The surgery was scary but I am no longer terrified my meds are not going to work.I tried everything beforehand short of weed. Now,I take 3000mg of Neurontin daily but no other narcotics.We don't see a lot of post here from pain pump patients because frankly,pain is no longer on my mind 24/7. I will always check in with the board but honestly getting my life back is keeping me busy.Please get legal help immediately with any conditions or injuries which may disable you.My ssdi was denied initially but when judge heard my story backed up by med facts,she granted my ssdi.It is not a lot of money but I just consider myself retired albeit a little younger then I would have liked.I am 60 and consider myself blessed and very lucky.There were scary times that I honestly prayed for death rather then live with pain that was honestly killing every part of me. Please don't give up and take charge of your pain mgmt. plan.First pain dr was an idiot but next one was an angel.Keep searching and you have to believe you will not always be suffering.Pain nearly ended me but with family and friends ,I am still here.Stay hopeful folks and don't beat yourself up.That is the worlds job but you need to be strong enough to fight back.Painfully less.Tom

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