Yup, I know what you mean! DH and I worked opposite hours up until DS was 18 months old to avoid doing daycare. Once DH got a FT job during the day (with better pay), we started DS in daycare, which also allowed me to work more (I'm kind of a freelance consultant)... let me tell ya, we were pretty much breaking even regardless of working more and DH getting paid better. Freakin sucks! AND, originally we did daycare for just 3 days a week because that was all I was working... well, we ended up upping it to five days a week because a) DS kept getting sick during those three days and you aren't allowed to switch days so I would be taking off work and earning less and b) it was only $30 more than 3 days/week. We are far from rich, so I looked into getting subsidies too, but I don't even understand how a working parent, let alone two working parents, would ever be able to fall under the cutoff. The whole system is stupid and backwards. I swear, no more kids until DS is in FREE kindergarden, which might be never considering how much worse public school education keeps getting each year.
Yeah... I don't think that was helpful, but I just felt like venting too lolView Thread
How are you! I am not on here much anymore, but I do try to check it occasionally. I'm glad you and Cadance are are doing well! That is great that you guys got away from the sperm donor... what a freakin jerk deadbeat! You guys are better off without him in your life, his loss!
Brandon is doing great too! Not as chatty though lol... he is getting some speech therapy because he is not saying that many words, but he seems to be picking up a bit with that. All of the professionals don't foresee any long term problems though... he is a very smart (yet quiet...sometimes) cookie lol.View Thread
I'll preface this by saying that I don't think there would be anything wrong if your son wanted a doll or was interested in dolls, and personally, I would never discourage that.
However, that is just really bizarre that out of all the possible toys they could have picked out for your DS, they chose a baby doll with a pink stroller. Personally, I just find baby dolls to be a little creepy in general, and I just think there are much better options out there for toys that would allow him to be sensitive and nurturing, like as you said, stuffed animals or even something like a Dora doll, which I think would be equally appreciated by both genders (they have one in DS's daycare class, and ALL the kids love it).
But yeah, my opinion is that a) they want to get a rise out of you or b) that they are dying to have a little grandaughter/niece in the family. However, if they do/did give it to your son, I wouldn't go to the extreme of hiding it in a closet or anything. Just leave it out and if he takes an interest in it, then it is just one more toy he has to play with, and if he doesn't, it collects dust until you decide to get rid of it.View Thread
Geez, my kid is almost 2yo and I WISH he ate that month! But that is more of a good thing for you and a bad thing for me Children will eat what they want to eat, so don't try to restrict their intake. Time Magazine actually just did a short article on this exact issue... some parents (possibly you DH included) as so concerned about their infant/toddler's weight, that they attempt to put them on a diet. When I read that, I thought that was pretty absurd.
But yes, I also agree with the other posters... don't restrict how much she eats, but do consider reworking what you give her to eat. It sounds like she likes a variety of food, so this shouldn't be much of an issue in terms of getting her to eat new healthier items. For instance, instead of a regular waffle, try giving her whole grain or flax seed waffles... oatmeal is also a good option. Maybe only give her half a grilled cheese, but add some spinach (I know, sounds weird, but my son really liked that for a while) or tomatoes to it and follow it up with a variety of fruit and healthy snacks.
I think alot of the time, us parents can end up projecting some of our own insecurities onto our kids, and lets face it, weight is almost everyone's insecurity. The best thing you can do to avoid that is be aware of it and do your best to not let it negatively influence her life and growth.
How early was he? My son was a little early, just 6 1/2 weeks, but I feel like it took him a little longer to transition off the bottle. We didn't do it until about 18 months.
But it sounds like you are more concerned that he is only drinking formula and not eating baby food? It may not be a huge deal if he was very early... you really have to adjust their age based on when they were due to properly track their milestones.
Preemies can also have a higher incidence rate of food aversions. Was he vented at all? Did anyone note any low tone issues? Have you discussed your concerns with a doctor?View Thread
To piggyback on Sarah's comment, this is exactly what I was trying to get at in my original post. It sucks that you have to bear the brunt of these issues while your DH sits back and watches a) you get crap from his ex and b) his son get mistreated by his ex. I would not want to be with anyone who let me go through that or watched his son be borderline abused yet did nothing about it. Sorry, but that would be a dealbreaker in my book... anyone willing to do that to one child could do it to another.
I am now also wondering... why haven't you called the authorities on this woman if you have actual evidence that she is doing this crazy stuff? And yes, lawyers are expensive, but if you show enough financial need, they maybe willing to do some probono work on your stepson's case. This is just not making sense that all of this horrible stuff is going on with DH's ex, yet she has full custody and your DH is ready to sign over rights... there just seems to be something missing from this story.View Thread
AND, if you feel like your DH and you are a family, then you need to start thinking of your income as a FAMILY resource. If you were a SAHM mom, but had a child from a previous relationship living with his/her father, wouldn't it piss you off if your husband gave you non-stop crap about it? Although the likelihood of that happening is slim since mother's usually get primary custody, you really need to think of it in that way.
And what if one day, you and your DH broke up and he went on to have a family with another woman and stopped paying YOUR child support although it was obvious that his newest child was very well taken care of... would that not infuriate you? It would infuriate me.
I just think you are just looking at this whole issue in a very one sided way, and until you start seeing things for what they are, no good will come of this situation.View Thread
I think you have to realize that if you and you DH just paid the child support, NONE of this would be happening. I haven't been on the board much recently, but I have definitely seen you post about this issue before, and then a day or two later, you post aboutstuff you want to buy for/ are buying for your daughter. Venting is not going to help you, if you want to sort this matter out, you need to get your priorities straight and start catching up on your back support, simple as that.View Thread
6 months? DS was barely eating jarred baby food then, so I doubt there is anyway he'd be able to eat nut butters! That is a little crazy!
But I do agree that I think the whole nut avoidance thing was totally blown out of proportions, especially around the time we were pregnant. Pregnant women cutting nut butters out of their diet, really? I didn't really eat more peanut butter than usual when I was pregnant, but I kept it at around the same level as prepregnancy, and DS is fine. I think as long as you eat everything in moderation, you are fine.
As for my DS, I started giving him PB around 12-15 or so, but I don't think he really started liking it until he was around 18 months. I was more concerned with it being a chocking hazard rather than a potential allergen. Lately, he has really been into eating a variety of nuts such as pecans and walnuts whole, as well as sliced almonds! He started sneaking my granola and trail mix so frequently that we have just started giving it to him as his official snack. I think nuts are great for toddlers!View Thread
At this stage of life, being wet, hungry or sleepy is not the only stuff that irritates them. He may want a certain thing, and if you don't give it to him, he will throw a fit. They call it the terrible twos for a reason. How is he communicating? Does he point to things he wants or use language or gestures to communicate his needs? Speech and language delays can be a source of frustration. I have my son in some therapy to help with his language skills (he understands everything but is not speaking yet... we are pretty sure it stems from some residual low muscle tone issues). They are starting to teach him some signs to ease his frustrations while he learns to speak verbally. You may also want to post on the two year old board about this, given that he is so close to being two... those moms might have more advice.View Thread