We would be curious to know your opinion about the comments on your 2 year old post regarding son-in-law showering with his daughter (your grand-daughter), and to have a update on whether any of the advice given here was useful for you and your family. Please let us know how things are today? Is he still showering with his daughter? Are you and the child's mother more comfortable with it? Has he stopped showering with the girl? Does he understand why it is or is not OK to do? Thanks!View Thread
I appreciate your evaluation of my psychological well-being based on my opinion about a father who showered with (not just "simply bathing a young toddler" as you interpret from the situation). First, there is no mention of how old the daughter is, but if she's "inquisitive", then chances are she is--even at 0 years old--too old to have her father in the tub with her.
That said, I was merely suggesting the relationship of one act, i.e., a father showering with his daughter, with the other inevitable acts that could evolve from a situation of this kind, yes, child molestation...abuse. Hasn't that been proven enough in this country often times with no warnings of this kind?
To think there is nothing wrong with a man's decision to get naked and jump into a tub with his girl daughter, you must be a male; perhaps with a daughter with whom you have showered (or continue to shower with), slept or sleep with, or performed (or continue to perform) some other indecent act, which you excuse as normal. WELL, Mr. Man, it's not normal, and I stand by my opinion about a proactive approach in protection of our children--even against ourselves--rather than tears and helplessness after the fact when another child is hurt (mentally or physically or both) or killed at the hands of a grown male relative (father, brother, uncle, cousin, trusted long time relative) such as yourself, who take such liberties (as showering with a child incapable of knowing better her/himself, or incapable of knowing the damage that has the potential to come of being subjected to adult ignorance. Especially ignorance of one who thinks that a father showering with his young daughter or son (of any age) is OK. Like you, in all due respect, this person is who should seek help, and fast!
It might be one thing for a mother to shower with her young daughter or son, but it is never/not ever OK for a father to take that privilege of dropping himself in the tub with a child, boy or girl, and then think nothing of it. This alone should be concerning to any decent parent.
And you, dear SIR, are what's wrong with country. God help young children in your presence! View Thread
I am amazed that no doctor suggested or test him for an allergy (possible to grass). Did his coughing start around the beginning of Spring? Does it happen only at night? Almost always when he's lying down? Is there mold and/or mildew on walls, windows, floors in his room or living environment?
Firstly, to make your child more comfortable at night, I would suggest 1) Freeing his room, bed, stuffed animals of dust; 2) Cover fully, his bed and pillow with a sizable sheet that should be removed before his bedtime; 3) Close all windows in the room to prevent the flow of dust, pollen, etc., from entering; 4) Give your son warm water with 2 tablespoons of freshly squeezed lemon (add honey if you like); 5) Get him to sleep on his back with his head elevated on a pillow. When all of this is done, turn on the A/C long enough to cool the room. Do not allow him to sleep in the A/C overnight.
Additionally, take care with: the type and amount of detergent you use to wash his clothes and bedding; the air fragrances used around the house and in his room; the type of soap and shampoo used for his baths; to brush his teeth and tongue before bedtime (goggle a bit if possible); and if any do exist, remove stuffed animals from his room altogether.
I'm confused about which issue you require suggestions about, but you should assess exactly where your granddaughter puts her thumb and what she does with it when it's there, before becoming alarmed. It's normal, as you know, for toddlers to touch while discovering parts of themselves.
As for your grandson, sugar is as bad as giving your child canned, fried and fast foods, and making a habit of either will definitely influence his preferred intake.
Home cooked meals are the best thing you can do for your child, along with having them together, at a dinner table, with everyone eating the same foods. If your child is not eating properly, you might try putting a combination of any of these foods: fruit and vegetables, nuts, tortilla and vegetable chips, raisins, cheese, pretzels, PB&J, crackers, breads, cereal with wheat or grains, rice, beans, grilled chicken, spinach, cabbage, broccoli, asparagus, cauliflower, etc., on the table and see what he eats.
Avoid using salt and pepper and other seasonings in your child's food. Use fresh garlic, unions, green peppers, etc., to add flavor to your child's home cooked meals.
Make some distinction between what is fun foods or treat and what is required eating. Sometimes it helps to suggest that a treat is the reward to having eaten his required meals.
I assume you are a single woman raising your boy on your own. You're right, it is normal for a child to explore and touch him/herself, but with that should come some explanation about the part of the body and what it's basic function is, and how is is used. A father of a 2.5 year old male child myself, my son was also suddenly aware of his genitalia (probably around the same age as your son, 2). My explanation of his genitals, their connection to other body parts and how they work help to train him for the potty and reduced his fascination for his new friend he now regards as personal and private and important.
Be careful not to put too much attention on his playfulness and not to discourage his familiarity with his discovery. You don't want to give the impression that playing with it is a bad thing. Coupled with an understanding of this part of his body basic information about it will help him to accept it as a permanent part of himself, like his arms, legs, etc., and cause him to not play with it as much. But honestly speaking, no matter what you do or say, or how old your child is or becomes, his hands will always have a tendency to touch his private for one reason or another, or no reason at all.
If you're a single mom raising your male child, it should come natural for you to explain the basic feature and function of your boy's penis, during bath time, while going to the potty, etc. If you are uncomfortable doing this, find some books/videos in the child section of your local library that has great pictures, which you can read to him. Refrain from allowing men who are not his Dad, or a regular/familiar and trustworthy caregiver teach him this.
Regardless who else (outside yourself) think it is OK for your grand-daughter to bathe with her father, you MUST approach this situation (the Dad) with the most gentle, non-accusing, and warmest expression of concern -- about your feelings.
I am a 49 year old male, with a 2.5 year old son and live in the 21Century US of AMERICA, where child molestation, pornography, and other abuse is bursting through the seams in communities, families, schools and sitters. There is NO way an act of this kind should be allowed to occur one time, not to mention multiple times; not with your child and not with the neighboring child who comes for a sleepover with your child.
A mother and father MUST know better than to be so reckless as to teach and allow yours or any child to become exposed to, to explore and/or generating curiosity and questions about your sex organs. Parents should all be careful what we teach our toddlers and children of all ages, how much we teach them, and when we deem it OK for them to learn it. Equally, parents should inspect, scrutinize and manage what their child(ren) are exposed to with a fine tooth comb; from the cartoons and other programs they watch on the tube, cigarettes and drugs, to their own and other people's anatomy and sex.
There has to be something severely wrong with a person, male especially, who consciously find it to be OK to dangle his private before a child, boy or girl for any length of time. To do so says a lot about your conscious or subconscious uninhibited sexual practices, which some feel so free to inflict upon their child(ren) who can not make the decision (whether to bathe with or sleep with their parent) for him/herself. It's an entirely different thing from eating with your child.
Keep your children safe from all, that includes you and anyone who thinks this is OK.View Thread
Hi! It is a big leap from smelling of cigarette smoke to doing drugs in front of your child, both of which might be very true especially if you already know that the child's father smoke cigarettes and do drugs. Will your child be affected by the second-hand effects of cigarette and marijuana smoke? YES! You might pay careful attention to your child's behavior, sleep and breathing patterns, etc. Smell your child's breath; look into the pupils of his eyes, observe differences in how he is walking, talking (if at all) and/or interacting with other children.
Equally, being suspicious is a far cry from making an accusation of or going to the court about your child smelling of cigarette smoke and cologne alone. If you haven't already, question your child about what he and Dad does during his visits, but be careful that you do no lead your child with your suspicion. Your child may be expressive enough to know some or all of the words used to encourage him to "smoke", or whatever. He might even be able to show you (on his own, without coaching from you) what he might be doing at Dad's if there is a pack of cigarettes lying around.
Keep in mind that just because your child smells of cigarette smoke and cologne, it doesn't mean that: 1) smoking occurs throughout his visit with Dad, but rather during the car ride home (and cologne is splashed on him upon arrival); 2) your child is smoking, or being encouraged to do so; 3) his Dad is doing drugs; 4) there is any smoking at any kind at Dad's home.
What's best is that you any other suspicions from the fact that your son reeks of cigarette smoke and cologne. What I mean is, don't add to that what isn't there. Also, if you want your suspicions to be true, they will no matter what Dad does or does not do...careful of that! Remain mindful of the importance of an open and honest, calm and adult conversation with your co-parent. Ask what you need answers to and develop some ground rules to be implemented during your son's visit with Dad (ask Dad what he thinks of them). But if you too are a smoker, the rules you set (and especially baseless suspicions) might be suggested upon you as well.