My youngest daughter had emotional melt-downs since age 2, so I completely understand where you are coming from.
Melt-downs can "look" like they come out of nowhere, but I guarantee, the child is having them for a reason - a reason you don't yet see or understand.
Some children are just more sensitive - plain and simple. They can have a melt-down when their over-tired, hungry, don't get their way, are internally upset over something that happened at school or home. Lots of reasons.
Children such as these do better with Positive Discipline techniques - and I would encourage you to seek these out. Spanking a child will not help, and I guarantee it will make it worse. I understand how frustrating it is for a parent to not stop the behavior - but a far better idea is to ignore it. Ignoring it, gives the tantrum no power. Stay calm, talk in a low voice, go about your activity and ignore her completely until she stops.
When a young child is acting out such as you describe, I think getting to the root of his behavior is most important now.
I would find a really good, smart Child Psychologist to evaluate your son. A good psychologist will do an intake with both parents, send forms to school for the teacher to fill out, and spend several visits alone with the child before coming up with a treatment recommendation.
It sounds to me like you mention - anxiety. Its doubtful that she is not tired, probably the opposite, she is over-tired. When children are over tired, sometimes in the evening they get a "second wind", but its actually from being tired.
What time does your daughter get up in the morning for school? What does her schedule look like after school? Does she go to an on sight school after care? How long is she there?
A bit more info could be helpful in offering suggestions, thanks! -KathleenView Thread
From your post, its hard to tell if what he is doing is out-of-the-norm ........ some kids are just more sneaky and test boundaries more than others. If you care to write back with some examples of what he does, that may be helpful.
In general though, when you have a child who tests limits and boundaries often, there needs to be a firm, in place system so your son knows what to expect and what to not expect.
There are a bunch of ways to design a behavioral plan and I would defer you to a really good Child Psychologist or therapist that mostly work with young children.
I would go visit with him/her, discuss the issues your son is having and help them come up with a reasonable plan. I would ask the potential therapist about Positive Discipline and see what they know about Behavioral Plans based on that.... Below is a link some Positive Discipline strategies. http://www.livesinthebalance.org/
I hope this helps some? Take care! -KathleenView Thread
Temper tantrums can be very difficult to deal with and not knowing what the root cause is, very frustrating for the parent.
Here are a few ideas to think about:
Could she be too tired - not sleeping long enough and having days that are too long? Like going to school, then staying in Aftercare too late - then some evenings have soccer? Some children are more sensitive - they just are. Could her days just be getting too much for her?
Young children can't articulate why they do something, they just have a feeling and go with it.
You could always try "lightening" her load and see if the melt-downs stop. Pick her up when school's out, have calm evenings with no soccer practice.
It sounds like an anxiety issue to me. Does she exhibit any other behaviors that seem out of the norm?
When my oldest was young (age 4), she would constantly go to the bathroom. She was always thinking she had to go. We had any medical causes rules out, and then her Dr. said it was anxiety based.
As time wore on and I didn't constantly bring it up with her, her behavior improved (after about 2-years). We didn't need to seek any further help, because as I said, it did slowly improve.
I understand your concerns about dryness and cleanliness. I would take her to her Pedi and rule out any physical causes, and then decide how to proceed, ie: either ignore behavior or seek out a Child Psychologist to help with behavior modification.
Are you guys working with a Child Psychiatrist? Often times medication for ADD, make OCD behaviors worse - it happened to my daughter.
I understand your frustration!! OCD is based on anxiety, so if your son doesn't qualify for an IEP, he definitely should for a 504 plan. Have you looked into a 504, in case an IEP doesn't happen? There's a lot to learn.....sigh - it can all be SO much work for us parents!