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I think people just ask when they know someone who doesn't discipline their kids at all. I've known families like this and the kids often display some behaviors consistent with this disorder.
Try not to pay too much attention to it. Everyone always seems to have their two cents to offer without knowing your situation, regardless of what type of parenting issues you may be having.View Thread

I am now a 36 year old mother myself but I was the same way when I was around 20, only not as responsible as your daughter. However, I lived with my mother and though I worked, I didn't really do much to help around the house or keep my room clean. The only cure for this was for me to move out. The truth was I was an adult, working and supporting myself. Two adults with different housekeeping methods around the house are bound to drive each other nuts!
My mom wanted me to pay rent and there was no way I was going to pay rent and not have the freedom of being on my own. (We were constantly arguing about chores). When I had my own place I could keep it messy all I wanted, but I realized that if I wanted to have anyone over I had to clean up. I also became responsible for feeding myself, buying my own groceries, etc.
That was just my experience. I was working full time so I had to support myself, there was no reason for me to continue living at home. Had I remained at home I never would have learned how to be on my own and take care of my own things.
You may not be emotionally ready for your daughter to move out, so this might not work for you. Just sharing my experience.View Thread


One of the other women on the street who I'm friends with were talking to the woman who lives next door to me. She and her husband know this guy better than my friend and I (he isn't related to her family, it's another family on the street), so her daughter (who is 9) knows him as well. It just came out recently that this couple was having a baby, and she was being rather gossipy about it, talking as if it were this bad thing. Now I don't know the couple well so I don't know whether their situation is good or bad, but her tone was very clear - she was complaining about it and sort of badmouthing the situation. I couldn't really figure out why, then she started complaining that her daugher was very confused by this because they're not married, so now she has to explain to her daughter why people who aren't married are having a baby together. She was saying it as if this guy and his girlfriend had personally, purposely set out to offend her and make her life difficult.
Is it me? I found this incredibly maddening. It's one thing to have your set of values that you teach your child, but I found this over-sheltering! Badmouthing and complaining because you have to explain to your child that people have children out of wedlock? Whether you think it's right or wrong, pretending it just doesn't exist was just insane to me. I began thinking this woman is really out of her mind (I try to keep my distance from her anyway - we sort of just got stuck in this conversation and got away as soon as we could).View Thread


I agree that people make it so much more complicated than it needs to be and in the long run I think they make it much harder on themselves. I see so many parents send mixed signals to their kids and over the years I see these kids who have no idea how to behave. I see parents and children trying to one up each other with sneaky, manipulative behavior because parents are never direct with their children. It's hard to watch.View Thread
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