I wanted to know what you guys think about my situation. My children ( 11yr old son, 7 yr old daughter) from a previous marriage, have started calling there step dad "Dad". I am 18 weeks pregnant, and it was shortly after we told the kids that I was pregnant (they were estatic) they out of the blue started calling him dad, he is fine with it. But since my childrens biological fathers is still in their life, I felt it necessary, to explain to them that they didnt have to call my husband dad, but if they wanted to that it was fine. Well my lil girl was with her dad when I recieved a call from him, (note he is and was always very controlling) he was yelling at me, saying I was filling her head with stuff and that my husband was not her dad, and that he better never hear her say that again, ect. Also note that she has told me that when she is at his house and she makes us a picture and he sees it is for us that he sends her to her room and throws her picture away. I dont know what to say to her, because I never bad mouth the kids dads (in front or around the kids). Me and my husband have only been married for a year. Please if anyone has any suggestions...
<<<Those people can and should be opposed.>>> Hence my comment " Not saying you have to agree with that person but you need to respect that person. " I'm not saying you are wrong, but neither am I...its my opinion!
I would like to know where you got your information about Sweden because here are the stats I got:
Est. 2011 Population: USA- 311,591,917 Sweden-9,302,123
Crime- 2010 Offenses reported per Inhabitants (approx.): USA-403/100,000 Sweden- 151/1,000
Anywhere with a huge population difference is going to look better one way or the other...
It doesn't matter... I am not trying to change anyones mind. I have a right to my opinion as do you. So I am glad your way works for you.
I can see your view as we "spankers" supposedly lash out and beat our children with no rhyme or reason, would look like physical child abuse, but I can reassure you that not ALL "spankers" are child abusers. Yes there are child abusers, I work with those demented people everyday at work.
I believe in Corpal Punishment, maybe its cause I was raised that way, maybe its cause of my job or a combo of both. But it sickens me to see young kids entering prison being pacified at the tax payers expence, with free cable, water, electric, food, medical, dental, flat screen tvs, mp3 players,handheld video games, plus get paid to be in here, after raping an infant, or beating and robbing someone just because they can, or killing having no reguard for human life, they are not remorseful, they brag about it. Then they get flat time not matter what the crime or how they behave in prison, so that someone can say they have been rehabilitated, release them back into society for them to committ the same type of crime or worse. That again is why I believe in corpal punishment, its mainly the same offenders, repeating, and repeating. I wish the punishments were more harsh, but thats just me.
And its the kids 18-20 that are the worst, they come with multiple numbers (meaning not the first time they have been to prison), so just my opinion that their punishment was not harsh enough to make them rethink of coming here AGAIN.
To me thats what a spanking does,(makes them think before they act) and its been proven in my family.
Enough of my ranting, just saying I see things that a lot of people don't, and I never want my kids to even think about being in a place like this. And I will do everything in my power to keep them level headed with self disipline.
Good luck to every parent with their children, gawd knows we can't protect them from eveything. They will make mistakes thats part of growing up, just hope they learn from them, before its too late.View Thread
What is child abuse and neglect? Child abuse and neglect includes any act that harms a child. Some people use the term "child maltreatment" to include both abuse and neglect. Children who are maltreated may suffer in many ways. Young children are at special risk. They may not grow properly, or they may have learning problems. They may feel bad about themselves and not trust other people. They may be scared or angry. Sometimes they die. Children are not able to understand that abuse or neglect is not their fault. They may think that they did something wrong and deserve what happened. It is up to adults who care to protect them. If you know about or suspect child abuse or neglect, there are ways you can help. What are the types of abuse and neglect? Child abuse means doing something that hurts a child. This may be physical, emotional, or sexual. Neglect means not giving or doing something that a child needs.
Physical abuse is often the easiest type to notice. It includes hitting, kicking, shaking, pinching, and burning. It may leave bruises, cuts, or other marks and cause pain, broken bones, or internal injuries.
Emotional abuse is saying or doing things that make a child feel unloved, unwanted, unsafe, or worthless. It can range from yelling and threatening to ignoring the child and not giving love and support. It may not leave scars you can see, but the damage to a child is just as real.
Sexual abuse is any sexual contact between an adult and a child or between an older child and a younger child. Showing pornography to a child is a type of sexual abuse.
Neglect happens when a child does not get the shelter, schooling, clothing, medical care, or protection he or she needs. Child neglect is just as serious as abuse and is even more common.
Now where does it mention spanking. If you consider "hitting" to be the same as spanking, the definition oh hitting is hit (h t) v. hit, hit·ting, hits. v.tr. 1. a. To come into contact with forcefully
I do NOT "forcefully" spank my children.
spank (sp ngk) v. spanked, spank·ing, spanks. v.tr. To slap on the buttocks with a flat object or with the open hand, as for punishment.
Again MY OPINION I don't care what you or anyone else thinks just as you shouldn't care what I or anyone else thinks about the way you raise and disipline your child(ren). Your way is not wrong, and neither is mine.View Thread
Yes it is a very different world we live in today!!!!!!!!!! I'm just stating my opinion, it doesn't matter what anyone thinks of it. I'm not saying any one is wrong for not spanking, to each their own. I think its perfectly fine to disipline with spanking, if you don't... ok. It works in my house, hardly ever do I spank my kids, they have learnt, and they know what is expected of them. I'm just saying I have seen children who are not spanked, and I have yet to see a well behaved child that does not recieve spankings. Are they out there? Yes I am sure there are, but I have not witnessed it. Even if I had seen it, my way is working, and my children are not violent, they do not lash out. I recieve many compliments on how well behaved my children are, and I am proud of that! No one should have the right to tell other people how to raise thier children, as long as it is not ABUSE!
Got this straight from the WebMD website: Children's Health
Physical Abuse: Common Injuries in Children - Topic Overview [a name=tm4936-sec xmlns:xalan="http://xml.apache.org/xalan"> Certain types of injuries are common to physical abuse.
Bruises. Bruising is the most common sign of physical abuse and can result from being slapped, punched, bitten, or hit with a belt, cord, or switch. Suspect physical abuse if a child has bruising in unusual places. Bruises on the buttocks, genitals, back, sides of the body, both sides of the face or head, or on the upper surface of the hands or feet are unlikely to have been caused accidentally. The pattern of a bruise mark may suggest the object used to injure the child.
Burns. Intentional burns often have recognizable patterns. For example, scalding burns (which occur when a child is immersed in hot water) produce a distinct line where the burn meets undamaged skin . If a child's hands or feet were placed in hot water, the resulting burn may look as if he or she is wearing a glove or sock. Cigarette burns often occur in groups, are circular and the same size as the end of a cigarette, and are in places that do not seem likely to be accidental.
Fractures. Abuse fractures are caused by twisting or pulling an arm or leg, or shaking a child so hard that the arms or legs flail about, causing traction on the end of the long bones. Punching or kicking a child may cause fractures of the ribs, scapula, or sternum.
Head injuries. Most abuse deaths are caused by injuries to the brain . Shaking or hitting a child's head or face is always dangerous. Young children cannot control the movement of their head as well as adults can. Shaken baby syndrome (shaken baby-impact syndrome) is brain damage caused when a baby is shaken, slammed, or thrown against an object.
Abdominal injuries. A severe blow to the abdomen with a fist or foot can cause damage to internal organs. A ruptured spleen or liver , a hole or cut (perforation) in the intestines , a large blood clot (hematoma), or a bowel obstruction can occur with physical abuse to the abdomen.
You are supposed to be concerned...thats what makes you a good parent... does your wife have these same suspicions? Have you talked to your wife about it? If you really think that is going on, you should be able to smell it on their breath, I would think thier urine might be darker since alcohol dehydrates, if the times from where thy nap to when you get them after work is too long, then what I would personally do is take a half a day off work, or a whole day, and just go to the inlaws shortly after they go down for thier nap, then go in and kiss them, you should be able to smell the alcohol even if they are sleeping, alcohol is hard to cover up. This is just what I would personally do. I really think you should discuss this with your wife though. And see what she thinks. Good luck please keep us updated!View Thread
Everyone has the right to thier own opinions, and the way I was raised worked and I am a contributing citizen of society. When I did something wrong at home I was punished, and it only took once or twice to think hey I would rather not have a spanking. My children are the same way, they think of the consequenses before they do something, and they know what is coming if it was wrong. But it was thier decision, that is what they will face in adulthood...ex. if I speed I will get a ticket, do I want to chance it? My children know the difference between right and wrong, and if they choose to do wrong they will deal with the consequenses there of. I do NOT expect them to know the first time, if my daughter for example comes home from school and says something derogatory that she does not understand but may have heard it somewhere, then I will tell her its wrong, why its wrong and that I do not want to hear her say that again. Then she says it again... I ask her if she remembered what I said about that. Then if she does it again she will get a spanking. Everyone who is against spanking, seems to think parents who spank, beat thier kids with no warning. That is child abuse, and those parents should be punished! But I know that a child who is abused is not happy, or healthy...my children are! And how can you classify 1 crime? Are murders the only ones who may or may not have got spankings during thier childhood? I see it EVERYDAY I come to work! And they will tell you that they got to do anything they wanted that thier parents were thier "friends", that is ridiculous, I am there for my children and they are not afraid to tell me anything even if they know they may get into trouble, they tell me the truth. I am thier Mother and they respect me, but I am not a friend who will condole drinking, cussing, stealing, being disrespectful or anything else. As for being respectful to authority figures... Parents, gandparents, elders, policemen, ect. Yes they better be respectful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not saying you have to agree with that person but you need to respect that person. Kids are born with gut instincts, they know when something is not right, and I have talked to my kids when it comes to that and they know that then that is the issue they are to get out of that situation as quickly and safetly as possible and come to me. You have to prepare children for the world, which is not an easy place, I dont want my kids to think they can get away with everything, or that anyone will try to pacify them. I am pretty sure that even scripture Proverbs 13:24 says: "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him." The definition of chastise is as follows...verb (used with object), chas·tised, chas·tis·ing. 1. to discipline, especially by corporal punishment. Sparing the rod can spoil not only the child - brattishness, obesity, overweening entitlement and depression - but also the planet. And I will not do that to my children. I'm not going to party with my kids, I will not give them EVERYTHING they want, and I will spank them when they NEED it. They understand if they want something then they must work for it, nothing is free in life, and if they do wrong, they will be punished. And as everyone is problaly thinking my kids have it so rough and surley can not be happy... they hug and kiss on me, I hug and kiss on them, we tell eachother all the time how much we love eachother, they tell me I'm the best mom ever. And that is how I know what I am doing is right, and working!View Thread
I must say that as Correction Officer I see all to well what happens when children are not brought up with firm boundries, limitations, and respect for rules and authority! Its sad. Most inmates are under 25! I do spank my children when needed! I NEVER beat my children! I have an 11 year old, 7 year old, and one on the way! I do NOT want to see any of my children end up in prison because of my short comings. I will Love and protect my children always, but they will listen to me and be respectful of authority. Now I do understand that not EVERY inmates parents should be blamed for them being here. But a large part of the inmate poplulation come from Juvenile facilities, and MOST juvenile delinquents are due to parents not having that childs best interest at heart. Just my opinion. Everyone has the right to parent how he or she chooses, as long as there is no ABUSE!View Thread
I have a full time job working 3rd shift (10pm-6am), my soul mate works at the same place i do full time but is on 2nd shift (2pm-10pm) we work at a prison, and both of us are Correction Officers. I have 2 children from previous relationships (11 year old boy and 7 year old girl) and there is one in the oven!!!! it will be my soulmates first we are very excited!!!!!!!! have been reading the post on here adn thought I would joinView Thread