My daughter is 22 and recently moved home after graduating from university. She is working full time and very conscientious about her job, being on time and not missing days etc. That's excellent, I know and she has always been like that even with school. She has never done drugs or given me any real trouble - so what is the problem? I am so frustrated because I don't know if I am communicating my needs badly but there's a set of expectations that I have and she will follow them a few times and then not bother. For example I expect her to clean her room and the bathrooms before she goes away for the weekend (she usually goes away). I always have to remind her to do these things as well. She will not do it on her own initiative. Her room is always a mess but I close the door and I leave it as such. I have a chronic pain condition and I need her to help me but she does her own laundry and leaves the rest in the basket, ironing will pile up, and so on. I believe the house would fall down around her and she wouldn't lift a finger. I have talked to her over and over about these issues. Her contribution is to buy gas (about $50 every 2 weeks or so). I believe her behaviour is childish but what can I tell her the consequences will be if she does not follow through with her few chores in the house? My husband will not support me on this because he feels that she works full time and doesn't need to do anything else. She has more than adequate time to do these things too. When she isn't working she lies in bed and uses her computer. She is such a wonderful girl and I love her so much. I feel some of this is my fault because she is an only child and she's been spoiled but it's driving me crazy. She gives herself enough time to get ready for work but won't have breakfast or make herself a lunch the night before. Again she has more than enough time to put together a salad or a sandwich for the next day. It takes a few mins. I was doing this but I stopped and now I feel bad that she is not eating properly. I drive her to work most days because I want to have my car otherwise I feel so isolated staying in the house all day by myself. Could I tell her there will be no more driving her to and from work? Please help. I really don't know what to do. I cannot work because of my disability but I am home all day so it appears that I am expected to take care of all household matters. If I felt better I probably would. I always did before.View Thread
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