Sometimes Doctors don't truly understand how disruptive the behaviors are....... You may want to record your daughters outburst on your phone (without her knowing), and privately show her Doctor and share your concern again.
I'm sorry you're having a difficult time, this is a tough situation on several levels.
From your description, it sounds like the boys parents divorced when they were young. Divorce on its own is a traumatic family event. These young boys can not verbalize their feelings of upset and moving from home to home is quite disruptive.
Now, they have 2-homes, and new siblings to compete with. I don't know what home looks like at their Mom's, but if there are boyfriends - other children etc...... its a confusing world for these boys.
It seems to me that there needs to be as much consistency as possible for these boys. Their Dad should talk with their mom and work on a plan together to potty train the boys - so the same expectations happen in both environments.
If mom is doing one thing, and you're trying to do another and the boys go back and forth, I can see why nothing is working.
I completely understand where you're coming from, when my daughter was 6, she acted very similar (((((Hugs))))).
First off, I am no Doctor, just a mom who has and is raising 4-daughters and had a lot of life experiences.....and from reading your post, I would say there is more going on here than ADD/ADHD.
Have you had a discussion in person with the Pediatrician? Just curious what he/she said....
I am not sure what state you're in, (some states have better resources than others), but I would seek out a "Pediatric Neuropsychology" exam from an expert who works with children. This exam will give you a better understanding of what your daughter is dealing with. Here is a link that better explains the test....... http://www.div40.org/pdf/PedNeuropscyhBroch3.pdf
In the meantime, I would also move towards having the school help her. You ask the school district to do their own set of evaluations to set up accommodations/help while your daughter is in school. Your daughter may need a smaller class, or other services that the school is required to provide if your daughter qualifies.
I know this sounds very overwhelming, but your daughter deserves to feel better and thrive. You sound like a caring, loving mother, and I know how awful it is to watch our children struggle. Take care, and write back if you need any additional support or have questions! -Kathleen PView Thread
Parenting a sensitive or challenging child can be confusing and difficult.
You are spot on about keeping your voice and actions calm - spanking or yelling will not help, and most of the time make the situation worse.
A child as young as 2 1/2 can not say why he is mad or upset, instead he throws a tantrum when something does not go the way he wants.
I would encourage you to speak with his pediatrician about his behaviors. Parenting classes may be helpful for you and your wife too - that way you're both on the same page as far as what "tools" to use when your son has a melt-down.
Hi, How wonderful of you to step in and raise your Grandchildren - I'm sure it's not easy!
In my opinion, I believe it would be best to have your grandson evaluated by a professional. A child psychologist who's specialty is young children. To medicate a child this young can be tricky and takes a specialist. You speak of your daughter and her drug addiction - this would make me lean more towards mental illness......biploar or depression ? What about the children's father? Is he without addiction?
There are non-stimulant types of treatment for AD(H)D. My daughter tried a few - unfortunately they didn't not help her, but its trial and error, what works great for one person, may be a disaster for the next - another reason you need someone other than a "typical" pediatrician trialing meds on your grandson.
I will paste a few links for you to explore.......