Oh gosh I SO feel for you (((((((((((((((((BIG HUGS)))))))))))))))) !!!
First off, you need to find a really good, smart, board certified Child Psychiatrist asap. A good one is hard to find, but they are out there.
I know that when a young child is this out of control and is on ADHD medication, that you may need to take him off it, as it maybe fueling his violent outbursts. You need a qualified Dr. to diagnose / treat him - Not a pediatrician and/or psychologist.
My youngest daughter was also violent and out of control, so I understand how unbelievable hard this is.
This can be a very challenging and frustrating situation for parents - we want our children to eat, thrive and be self-sufficient.
Some children are more sensitive and have oral needs that we as parents don't quite know how to fix.
You need to learn what to do, and what not to do for your son. This is not that unusual of a problem - just something you weren't trained how to deal with.
There are "feeding specialists" that are trained to help in situations such as this. I suggest you look into some professionals in your area to work with you and your young son. Here is a link to a Feeding Therapy Clinic: http://www.childrensfeedingtherapy.com/ This is the type of place and/or therapist you need to find to help get your son back-on-track, and independence in regards to his own feeding needs.
From a mom who's daughter threw horrific temper tantrums - I totally GET IT ! I'm so sorry !! Big temper tantrums are draining and can seem to be triggered by something so small or insignificant to us adults - but there often is a deeper root for the child.
There is not a "one-fix" here or a simple solution. There needs to be a comprehensive evaluation of home-life, her behaviors since age 2 etc........
I will throw out a few basics: First, when the child begins to ramp up, cry, fuss....Ignoring her is key - don't raise your voice, yell, or engage in going-back-and-forth with her. Now this works typically if you are the only one dealing with it - if there are other adults home, you will need to tell them the same thing (preferably ahead of time), to ignore her. If safety is an issue though (if your daughter hurts herself or others, or throws things) then you may need to calmly, intervene.
Never spank or hit the child - - it reinforces violent behavior that they are most likely pron to.
Now depending on how severe your daughter is, and how disruptive your home life has become - it may be wise to seek out a Professional. That would be a really good Child Psychologist (not a therapist) to evaluate your daughter who can provide insight to her behaviors.
I feel for you, and know how hard it is to handle a child such as this. Write back anytime, and I am happy to offer you more support.
When an incident such as this happens, it can cause a child such severe anxiety that they just won't eat - - it happened to my friends daughter.
I highly suggest you finding a "feeding therapist" - yes, there are such a thing! My friend found one for her daughter, and she was SO helpful.
Now depending on where you live, one may be not as easy to find (if you live in a more rural area). You may need to do some research......call the local Hospital Children's Dept., call local Child Nutritional Services - something along those lines, to get a referral of someone who can help young ones. Here is a link I found - - it would be great to find something along these lines: http://www.chp.edu/CHP/feedingclinic
Take care, and the best of luck to you and your daughter!! -KathleenView Thread
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