In my opinion 14 is a tricky age - a lot going on hormonally, internally, and with peers.
I think it would be a good idea to find a (preferably Male) Adolescent Psychologist to meet with your son, build a relationship with him, and then hopefully help him understand why his harbors anger towards his younger brother.
This could be more complex then you are seeing it. Your oldest could feel like an "outsider" because he is the only child in the house with a Father who isn't there - maybe he feels some abandonment issues from his bio father....you just never know. Even though you state, "he should have never felt left out or alone" - that's coming from your eyes, not how your son is feeling inside.
I certainly don't think it could hurt to find a really good Dr. to see your son, and I bet it could really change the dynamics in your household.
Take care, and the best of luck to you and your family! -KathleenView Thread
I am wondering if his father talks with him about how he treats his younger brother? What type of relationship do the boys have with their dad?
Does N typically get along well with his peers and other adults?
From your description, N's behavior sounds a bit mean spirited - and I wonder what else is going on in his life that makes him want to act out towards his younger brother? Would you have any insight on that ?
A bit more info may be helpful. I know how stressful this can be, especially on us mother's. Thanks, -KathleenView Thread
This is very difficult, and I really feel for you and empathize!!!
I have had similar issues with my 13 year old.......
There is no easy fix here (*sorry*), but the very best advice I can offer is, 1st: don't give up !!! There is hope, but finding a really good, smart, knowledgeable Child Psychiatrist can be difficult.
I would find a (preferably) male Child/adolescent Psychiatrist who will evaluate your son (this is typically over 3 or more visits). You then must take your son at least every 30 days to see the Dr. to discuss how he is feeling, his medications and go thru the medicine trials...
Medication trials can be tough - - not all children respond the same way, so medication is very individual and trials are necessary, but often times frustrating.
There is great cause for hope though, once a medication is found helpful, life can get back to normal, and your son can feel better........so, keep the faith !!!!