From a mom who's daughter threw horrific temper tantrums - I totally GET IT ! I'm so sorry !! Big temper tantrums are draining and can seem to be triggered by something so small or insignificant to us adults - but there often is a deeper root for the child.
There is not a "one-fix" here or a simple solution. There needs to be a comprehensive evaluation of home-life, her behaviors since age 2 etc........
I will throw out a few basics: First, when the child begins to ramp up, cry, fuss....Ignoring her is key - don't raise your voice, yell, or engage in going-back-and-forth with her. Now this works typically if you are the only one dealing with it - if there are other adults home, you will need to tell them the same thing (preferably ahead of time), to ignore her. If safety is an issue though (if your daughter hurts herself or others, or throws things) then you may need to calmly, intervene.
Never spank or hit the child - - it reinforces violent behavior that they are most likely pron to.
Now depending on how severe your daughter is, and how disruptive your home life has become - it may be wise to seek out a Professional. That would be a really good Child Psychologist (not a therapist) to evaluate your daughter who can provide insight to her behaviors.
I feel for you, and know how hard it is to handle a child such as this. Write back anytime, and I am happy to offer you more support.
When an incident such as this happens, it can cause a child such severe anxiety that they just won't eat - - it happened to my friends daughter.
I highly suggest you finding a "feeding therapist" - yes, there are such a thing! My friend found one for her daughter, and she was SO helpful.
Now depending on where you live, one may be not as easy to find (if you live in a more rural area). You may need to do some research......call the local Hospital Children's Dept., call local Child Nutritional Services - something along those lines, to get a referral of someone who can help young ones. Here is a link I found - - it would be great to find something along these lines: http://www.chp.edu/CHP/feedingclinic
Take care, and the best of luck to you and your daughter!! -KathleenView Thread
This does seem out of the realm of normalcy, but the reality is, you probably can't do much to change it.
For some reason, the mom feels the need to baby her son - maybe out of guilt, maybe because she feels he needs it....who knows.??
My best suggestion would be to find a really good LMFT, one who works with children and families. I would suggest to your wife that you all go in for family counseling.
Your wife may not want to change though - so its ultimately up to her to realize that she is enabling her son to be too dependent on her. I could guarantee that if this just goes on and on without professional intervention - that home life will get worse...for you all.
Good luck, its a tough situation. Take care, -KathleenView Thread