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Parenting: Preteens & Teenagers Community

Parenting preteens and teens is a new challenge. Should you worry about peer ... more

I know this is going to sound odd, but...

I need help from the perspective of a few parents. I am struggling with extreme...

Posted by fallenlow

7 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:I know this is going to sound odd, but... I need help from the perspective of a few parents. I am struggling with extreme...

Reply: I know this is going to sound odd, but...

Hello! I wanted to add a few things. (I may or may not have said them before, I tend to...

Posted by fallenlow

Hello! I wanted to add a few things. (I may or may not have said them before, I tend to forget.) 1. my dad is unemployed, and he gets angry at me a lot when I am anything less than perfect. This has a huge affect on me. To such an extent that he will tease/yell at/irritate/mock me every time I state my opinion, or even just make a comment. My mom doesn't do this quite so much, but my relationship is complicated with my mom. See, my entire household is very religious, and my mom is not, so we all go to church, and my mom just stays home, away from religion. For this reason, she and I are very distant. Not in a bad, 'I hate you mom, leave me alone' sort of way, more of a, we aren't talking at all in a day and it's nothing unusual, sort of way. Does that make any sense?

In addition, due to my own way of being, I am very confident. Not in a prideful passion, but in a way that I don't appear the type of girl who would EVER be depressed, or self-harming, or anything of that sort. For this reason, I would think, my parents have no inclination that I am doubting myself. Sure, I am entirely comfortable in my own skin, but hardly comfortable in my abilities. It's gotten so far that I literally have no hobbies where I used to have many, and I nearly refuse to speak to strangers as I fear the words that will come out of my mouth! But my parents have no clue. Or they do, and they're not interested in changing it.

One last thing that I would like to share is a problem I am having with my sister, Lila. She is 18 months younger than myself, and therefore considers herself my equal, giving her rights to say to me whatever she deems appropriate. For example, let me recount a simple conversation she had with myself in the car. In the vehicle was my sister Lila, myself, my older sister Terra (driving, 18) and my youngest sister Eve (13). A Demi Lovato song was playing on the radio. I am very fond of Demi Lovato, not only for her battles, but also for her voice. So, Lila changed the station, and I asked her to change it back. (She had no reason not to, she w
as just flipping channels.) But she looked at me and said

Lila: "You like Demi Lovato. You're just like her."
Me: "Just like her?"
Lila: "Yeah, stupid."
Me: "Thanks."
Lila: "Yeah, you should go kill yourself, like she did."
Me: "Lila, she's not dead! She's not even suicidal!"
Lila: "Yeah, how would you know? Are you suicidal? Always googling depression and stuff."
Me: "No! I just know the definition of suicide versus the definition of depression!" (I know I lied, but I was not going to let that be my story of how my family found out I was suicidal. Please don't blame me.)
At that, Terra started laughing, and Eve too, so Lila stopped talking to me and rather made a comment to Terra about how I was just like Demi Lovato as if I wasn't there. My thinking is that she's just doing it for the laughs of everyone around, but then the next night, she, myself and my Dad were watching a show. During the commercial, Lila said again that I was just like Demi Lovato. So I said, "Yeah, I should just take your advice and go kill myself." and she said "That's a good idea!"

It's just all so much. Almost too much. And yes, she's a year and a half YOUNGER than I am. Yet she treats me like a dog. Even in front of my parents. I just don't know what to do. My parents make no effort to stop her because they believe that I'm plenty strong enough to take the hurt.

Their motto is "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me" which I believe is far, far from truth. My sister is a full on bully, and I don't have any way to stop it.

Please help me.
-EllaView Thread

Posted byfallenlow

7 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:I know this is going to sound odd, but... Hello! I wanted to add a few things. (I may or may not have said them before, I tend to...

Reply: I know this is going to sound odd, but...

Thank you so much for the reply. See, my personal situation is sort of unusual. I could...

Posted by fallenlow

7 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:I know this is going to sound odd, but... Thank you so much for the reply. See, my personal situation is sort of unusual. I could...

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