If there are no teen centers....how about a Boys and Girls club? Or YMCA? A little more checking, may turn up something?
As for a sitter.....that could be tough, your son may resent you thinking he needs a sitter. In my opinion a center would be better. I know you mention not working in town......possibly where you work has a "teen type" center and he could ride with you and you could drop him off?
Does he like any sports? If so, maybe you can find a sports camp that he can participate in.
- Just trying to throw out some ideas......14 is a tricky age - too young to get a job and work, yet too old for a sitter.
As far as consequences for the Facebook incident, I would make sure his phone (if he has one), loses the internet privileges, and limit the time on the home computer. The no Facebook plan is a good one, and I'd keep checking to see if he sets up a new account.
The lying is difficult - - that's where you would need to rely on a professional to guide you. I'm glad you like the psychologist idea - I think a good one could really help your son. Here is another link for a book about lying: http://www.positivediscipline.com/articles/lying.html
Some kids are more difficult to parent than others - no doubt about it.....but throw in divorce, moves, boyfriends, girlfriends, and you can have a recipe for an out of control child.
Your son needs to want to succeed on his own - not because you want him to. But, how to make him care? There is no easy, fast fix.
IMHO, too much time home alone unsupervised is not a good thing. I would not let him have unlimited access to the internet for one.... I would look for "teen centers" in your area, a place where he can go during the and hang out with other kids his age, yet have adult supervision.
I also think find a really good, smart child psychologist (preferably male) to see your son would be a good thing. Someone for your son to bond with and trust, where he can share his feelings and come to some sort of solution in regards to school. Do you think your son needs a different sort of school ?? Maybe he feels too much pressure where he is at, and needs a new environment?
Another thought is SOCIAL THINKING. It is a program that specifically helps those who struggle with social ques, social behavior etc.... Not sure where you live, but there might be something similar nearby. http://www.socialthinking.com/
Lastly, not all "therapist" or psychologists are created equal, and quite possibly the one your daughter is seeing isn't the right one for her needs. I would explore others. In our area, I found a clinic that offers "girls groups", where they get approx 2 to 6 girls together who struggle socially and work together to learn problem solving, social interaction, and what's appropriate behavior and what isn't.
Hang in there, and do some research, hopefully you can find some more answers and help for your daughter! (((Hugs))) -KathleenView Thread
Is the lack of hygiene a new thing, or has she always been like this?
What is her home life like? Does her mom work with her on "healthy habits?"
I would work on the most important things first - like showering and brushing teeth - shaving legs isn't that important, and can be brought up later.
Sometimes breaking tasks down 1 by 1 can help. So the first day, just focus on taking a shower - she gets a lot of praise and positive encouragement. Maybe the next day she can skip a shower, but brush her teeth.....baby steps.
Some kids get overwhelmed easily and it all just seems too much - by breaking down tasks one by one and not forcing all the habits to be broken in one day, can be helpful.
I think an evaluation by a child / adolescent psychiatrist is a good idea - I wouldn't take her to an adult one.
A good evaluation is over a course of several visits - with you alone, your daughter alone, then with you together, plus, a ton of paperwork to fill out. After all that, a psychiatrist will give a recommendation for treatment (if any is warranted).
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